- Figured someone ought to finally kick this one off :-)
- "previously aforementioned fields" - the word "previously" is completely redundant/unnecessary here, as that what's the "afore" part of aforementioned means
- "The same year cumulated" - "cumulated" makes no sense at all here. I think you may have meant "culminated", but that isn't appropriate either, as it means "ended" and the album came out in February. Just say "In the same year he released.....". I'd also suggest joining the next sentence on to this one.....
- In para 2 "Diamonds...." should be in quote marks as it's a song title
- "Winning in four out of the five rap categories, as well as becoming the first solo artist to have his first three studio albums be nominated for Album of the Year." - this sentence doesn't make grammatical sense. It should start with something like "the album won in four...."
- "collaborative album Watch The Throne (2011) with Jay-Z, earned" - no reason for that comma to be there
- "He repeated the feat a year later, when he joint lead" - "led" spelt wrongly
- "The albums merchandise released released via" - missing apostrophe in "album's" and word duplicated
- That's what I found in the lead. I will look at the tables later..... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:28, 31 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Making a start on the tables:
- ASCAP London table is missing a ) after McCartney
- BET Hip Hop table is missing a space before the ( in 2015
- Billboard Mid-Year table: "performances of the first half of year." => "performances of the first half of the year."
- "The Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop Awards honoured the most popular albums" - have they been discontinued, or is the past tense a typo?
- "The Danish Music Awards (DMA) is a Danish award show organised by the IFPI Denmark in 1989" - that makes it sound like it only took place once, in 1989. Maybe replace "organised" with "established"?
- "The ECHO Music Awards were organised in 1992 by German Phonoakademie" - again, replace "organised"
- "The Esky Music Awards were awarded annually by Esquire magazine" - again, is the use of past tense correct?
- "The Footwear News Achievement Awards established in 1986" => "The Footwear News Achievement Awards, established in 1986"
- "that honor the footwear industry’s best shoes" => "that honor the industry’s best shoes" (avoid having the word three times in one sentence)
- "The Fonogram Hungarian Music Awards was founded in 1992" => "The Fonogram Hungarian Music Awards were founded in 1992"
- "The award is presented by Mahasz" => "The awards are presented by Mahasz"
- "and are considered the industry's highest music honor" => "and are considered the music industry's highest honor"
- "The Groovevolt Music and Fashion Awards were held annually by Groovevolt.com" - again, is past tense correct?
- "The MOBO Awards (an acronym for "Music of Black Origin") first presented in 1996, " => "The MOBO Awards (an acronym for "Music of Black Origin"), first presented in 1996,"
- "The MP3.com Readers Choice Award Awards" - that isn't the correct name, surely........?
- "The MP3 Music Award" - MP3 Music or MP3Music (as the heading shows).......?
- "The MTV Asia Awards was the Asian equivalent of the MTV EMA." - what is the EMA? It hasn't been mentioned at this point, so it seems odd to say that something else is the equivalent of it....
- "to award the music videos from European and international artists" - there seem to be some words missing here. They don't award the videos, they award prizes (or whatever) for the videos
- Also, as some of the winners/nominees are artists rather than their videos specifically, the awards can't just be given for videos, surely.........?
- "to award the music videos from Japanese and international artists" - same as before - they don't award the videos
- "The MTV Video Play Awards see MTV international recognizes" => "The MTV Video Play Awards see MTV international recognize"
- "The NME Awards are annual music awards show" => "The NME Awards are an annual music awards show"
- "The NRJ Music Awards are an annual award held by the radio station NRJ held since 2000" - don't need the word "held" twice
- People's Choice table is missing a closing " on ET
- "The winner was voted by the British audiences" => "The winner was voted by the British public"
- "The UK Festival Awards acknowledge the achievements of organisers and suppliers" - although it is a UK award, the article needs to be in US English, so "organise" should be "organize"
- "The UK Music Video Awards is an annual award ceremony founded in 2008 to recognise creativity, technical excellence and innovation in music videos" - same here - recognize
- "The winners were declared on their official site "Virgin Media"" - don't think this is needed.
- Wikilink Virgin Media
- "A Webby Award is an award" - why does this one start like that rather than something like "The Webby Awards are...."?
- World Music Awards table - the apostrophe in World's is missing on many rows
- Need to be consistent in the use of plural or singular eg you have "The XM Nation Music Awards was", but in other cases you say "The [such and such] awards were"........
- Why the empty notes section?
- Ref 150 seems to have a citation required tag as a ref?????
- Think that's it..... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:29, 31 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Anyone addressing these nine day-old concerns? The nominator hasn't edited at all for more than two weeks...... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 19:44, 5 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- @ChrisTheDude: I'm neither the nominator nor someone who has previously edited the article, but it would be a shame for this to fail FLC so I think I can take over the nominator's role. I've addressed your concerns (responding inline to some individual points)—let me know if there's anything more you think needs to be done. — Bilorv(c)(talk) 21:12, 10 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@ChrisTheDude: what are your thoughts on the list now? @Anyone else: more reviews would be very helpful! — Bilorv(c)(talk) 14:24, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Stellar work thus far. I have a few more comments, though, I'm afraid.....
- Sentence about the 47th Grammys ends in a comma
- Sentence about the 48th Grammys needs a "the" before 48th
- "the first artist to win best rap song for consecutive years, with "Diamonds from Sierra Leone"" needs rewording, as it sounds like "Diamonds...." won in both years
- "record equalling" needs a hyphen
- "Winners are selected through a poll in Billboard official website." => "Winners are selected through a poll on Billboard's official website."
- HTH, ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:32, 17 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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