Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of hill stations in Malaysia/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured list candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Giants2008 via FACBot (talk) 00:26, 12 October 2020 (UTC) [1].[reply]

List of hill stations in Malaysia

edit

List of hill stations in Malaysia (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): WPSamson (talk) 02:29, 6 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for the featured list as this list and lead introduction has been recently edited to meet the FL criteria and were properly referenced for each statements and this is my first nomination for the list which is also the list I am heavily edited along with several copyeditors who fixed several grammatical in some of the sentences. Hill station in Malaysia is unique due to not only the colonial era hill station has been properly maintained that makes it’s hill station authentic like during the British colonial era, but also the Genting Highlands which constructed since post-independence era that makes this hill station popular among tourists due to modernity, the only casino in Malaysia, and the place for entertainment for families. I am looking forward for the improvement for this list that I am nominated. Thank you. WPSamson (talk) 02:29, 6 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from ChrisTheDude (talk) 17:48, 7 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
;Comments
  • "Of the 10 hill stations, 4 are in Pahang state, two" - all the numbers should be written as words
 Done fixed
  • Wikilink hill station the first time it's used, not the third
 Done
  • The second sentence of the second paragraph is extremely long, it might be better split in two
 Done
  • "According to Crossette" - who is Crossette? Nobody of this name has been mentioned up to this point......
 Done rewrote this section since just discovered there is an existing author's Wikipedia page at Barbara Crossette.
  • "these colonial era hill station in Malaysia are considered unique" => "these colonial era hill stations in Malaysia are considered unique"
 Done
  • "these colonial era hill station in Malaysia are considered unique and well protected authenticity due to these hill stations were maintained carefully and consciously" - sorry, literally no idea what this means, the wording is horribly mangled
 Partly done I tried rewrote this sentence for better clarity. Is the sentence looks better now?
  • Sea level is two words, not one
 Done
  • "another 3 hill stations were built" - number should be written as a word
 Done fixed
  • "which contains attractions with licensing agreement from 20th Century Studios and The Walt Disney Company." => licensing agreements (plural)
 Done
  • "The list below shows the principal hill stations which were categorized by Aiken as the major hill stations" - again, who is Aiken?
 Done Added more details on who is the person.
  • "one hill station, Genting Highlands, which were built" => "one hill station, Genting Highlands, which was built"
 Not done The sentence is removed due to rewriting the paragraph in List of hill stations section.
  • "The importance of Bukit Tinggi and Mount Jerai as a hill resort were also mentioned" => "The importance of Bukit Tinggi and Mount Jerai as a hill resort was also mentioned" (the subject of the sentence is "importance" (singular))
 Not done The sentence is removed due to rewriting the paragraph in List of hill stations section.
  • First sentence in that block of text is very long and could be split
Note: I had rewritten the whole paragraph in the "List of hill station" section
  • I don't understand the designation of "principal" stations in the first table. The intro text suggests that all the stations in this section are "principal" except for Genting, but only four are coloured green?
 Done I had rewrite the whole paragraph and description of the designation for better understanding and less confusion, also the table has been merged and removed the mentions of "important".
  • Also, per the MOS, you can't use just colour to indicate something, you need to use a symbol too
 Done
  • Refs would look better centred
Question: What does it mean with the references is look better when centered?
It would look better if the refs were aligned in the centre of the column, rather than to the left -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 17:48, 7 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done @ChrisTheDude: Just got more clear that centering the references is on column section instead. WPSamson (talk) 02:36, 8 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks @ChrisTheDude:, I had addressed the first issue based on the first comment. Can have a look at the improved article and check if there are necessary changes needed for the latest changes. WPSamson (talk) 09:32, 7 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - Pass

edit
  • A "format=PDF" for ref 1 would be nice
 Done
  • Given that the location is only in ref 2, I would either add locations to the other refs or delete it here
minus Removed
  • Refs 3 and 14 shouldn't be in all caps per MOS
 Done
  • Ref 6 missing author
 Done
 Done
  • I'm unsure if ref 14 is reliable, it's self published but written by an Academic. Can the @FLC director and delegates: weigh in here?
  • "format=PDF" for ref 19
 Done
  • The further reading section to be changed to "Sources" or "Bibliography" – further reading means that the sources in the section are not used in the article, this is not the case here. Aza24 (talk) 08:09, 8 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • I think ref 14 is fine, Harun's field of study is "Science, Technology and Asian Society", so not unrelated, and the founding details of a Malaysian colonial town are not particularly controversial. That said: --PresN 15:11, 8 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
    • If he's an expert in the field, I think the reference will be okay. However, it does need the all caps removed as Pres said, and if the content comes from a particular chapter of the book, it would be helpful to include that for verifiability (I'm not seeing any page numbers in the version I looked at). Under the publisher= parameter of the cite template, I'd put Self-published in the field, as I noticed the missing publisher in the reference. Giants2008 (Talk) 22:12, 8 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done -  Comment. I had placed the chapter name on the references and replace URL with chapter-url parameter for easy finding on where the content pages comes from. WPSamson (talk) 04:29, 9 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Aza24: The source part are done per recommendation. Thanks. WPSamson (talk) 04:29, 9 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good work, pass for source review. Aza24 (talk) 22:22, 9 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks @ChrisTheDude: & @Aza24: WPSamson (talk) 03:52, 10 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Some thoughts

  • I gave it a copyedit, but the prose probably needs some more tuning
 Done modify the prose a bit for better understanding
  • The dates need a consistent format and order
 Done
  • What citation style is Aiken, S. Robert, October 1987. p. 426 in?
 Fixed using Harvard citation style
  • You probably don't need to cite Aiken's bio
 Done
  • GGR Asia is a blog
 Resolved replaced with more reliable newspaper site for citation purpose

--Guerillero | Parlez Moi 04:21, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Guerillero: I had resolved the list page based on your thoughts. Can have a review on the updated page. Thanks. WPSamson (talk) 11:05, 20 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Guerillero: I do not have experience in making interactive maps in Wikipedia, so I created static map instead. Anyway thanks for review and support. WPSamson (talk) 09:33, 23 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Support from Hog Farm

edit

Might claim WikiCup points for this. Hog Farm Bacon 19:37, 24 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • "There are ten hill stations that in Malaysia's mountainous area" - There's a word missing in here somewhere
 Fixed add "built" word into the sentence.
  • Is there a way to bold essentially the title in the first sentence, per WP:BOLDLEAD?
 Done rewrite the whole sentence and bold the title in that sentence.
  • "The British were not used to the environment in Malaysia, especially the hot tropical weather, the illness," - I feel like the illness part should be reworded slightly. Maybe "the endemic illnesses" instead?
 Done
  • " prevented any people in tropical countries from returning to their homeland on a regular basis" - I think this ought to be rephrased. "Any people" is a bit awkward here. Maybe "British nationals" or something like that; a lot of the people in tropical countries were native to those areas, while the context is clearly referring to the Brits.
 Fixed rewrite as "...prevented any British people settled in tropical countries from returning..."
  • " several colonial governments built these hill stations in Malaysia" - What governments these were never seems to be specified anywhere. I'm only seeing references to the British.
 Fixed rewrite as "...the British government built these hill stations in Malaysia."
  • " including the renovation and uplifting of the colonial-era hill station" - It's very unclear what you're referring to by "the colonial-era hill station"
 Fixed rewrite as "hill station built by British government"
  • Do geography and professor really need linked, per MOS:OVERLINK? Particularly the latter seems to fall under the common occupations bullet point of that link
minus Removed
  • "Following the independence of Malaysia, another three hill stations were built" - Go ahead and give the year the independence of Malaysia occurred in, so readers don't have to follow the link.
 Done
  • Why is Mount Angsi not mentioned in the lead, when all of the others are?
 Comment. Initially was not added due to built or established year not available. Now added to the lead, not sure if it's fit or not.

That's it for a first pass. Hog Farm Bacon 19:52, 24 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hog Farm: I had fixed all the issues based on your comments. Feel free to review the updated list page. Thanks. WPSamson (talk) 08:30, 26 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Supporting. Sorry for the delayed response. Hog Farm Bacon 03:19, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks Hog Farm. WPSamson (talk) 05:26, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_list_candidates/List_of_hill_stations_in_Malaysia/archive1&oldid=983057195"