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Wikipedia:Peer review/21st Regiment Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry/archive1

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21st Regiment Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hoping to submit this page for GA status. Would appreciate any comments, edits or suggestions.

Thanks, Historical Perspective (talk) 01:38, 19 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: This seems pretty close to GA to me, so here are some suggestions for improvement, some with an eye to a possible later run at FAC.

  • The lead might benefit from naming some of the battles they were involved in - I think more readers would be familiar with the names of the battles than particular campaigns.
Done, Historical Perspective (talk) 11:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The dab finder tool (upper right corner) finds two disambiguation links that need to be fixed
Done, Historical Perspective (talk) 11:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Make sure headers follow WP:HEAD so capitalization of "Organization and Early Duty" should be "Organization and early duty" instead
Done, Historical Perspective (talk) 12:10, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • It might be useful to give a few sentences on the outbreak of the Civil War and the call for volunteers at the start of the Organization and Early Duty section - see WP:PCR
Done, Historical Perspective (talk) 22:01, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • These two need references His assumption of command, as well as the issue of new Enfield rifled muskets, improved the morale of the regiment. and the following paragraph The 21st, about 900 strong, boarded the steamer Northerner on January 6, 1862. The fleet transporting Burnside's North Carolina Expedition encountered harsh weather off the coast of Cape Hatteras. Prolonged poor weather and the shallowness of Hatteras Inlet resulted in weeks of delay as the fleet struggled to enter Pamlico Sound. Finally, just as most of the vessels began to run low on potable water, the fleet entered the sound and made for Roanoke Island on February 5, 1862.
Done, Historical Perspective (talk) 22:07, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
  • Internet refs like current ref 50 need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
Done, sort of. I couldn't find any authorship attributed on the web page but did add the name of the homepage, i.e. the name of the "work" to the citation. Historical Perspective (talk) 12:17, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I also note the lead says they went from 1,000 to less than 100, but this is the first mention of the regiment's size and it is only 900.
  • Battle of Roanoke Island section - there are a few things here that come up repeatedly.
    • First off the section never really says that they won the battle / took the island and its fort - it just goes from According to the regimental historian, the 21st Massachusetts was the first regiment to mount the earthworks of the fort, however the honor was also claimed by the 9th New York.[14] then the next thing we know The 21st took up camp in the former Confederate fort, remaining there for nearly a month. Make sure the outcome of each battle is made clear.
Done, added some explanation. Historical Perspective (talk) 01:00, 28 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Second is there any more information on casualties - I note the Battle of Roanoke Island article lists the dead, wounded, and missing for the Union (if nothing else is known for the regiment, this could be cited). Try to make sure the casualties are quantified for each battle (this is done in some places like The 21st suffered 35% casualties during the Battle of Chantilly.[32] (WP:MOS says to spell out "percent")
Done. I'm glad you brought this up. Originally, I was tempted to list casualty data for each battle, but I wasn't sure if that would be information overkill. On your suggestion, I've added casualty data relating to each major battle mentioned in the article. Historical Perspective (talk) 01:00, 28 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am not sure if this will be a problem or not, but most of the sources are from the late 1800s. I am guessing there are more modern sources on many of the battles - a quick look at the title of this article on Amazon finds books published since 2000 on Chantilly and Burnside's Bridge, for example.
Somewhat addressed. I've added a couple citations from Bruce Catton, a more recent source. I can add more if this seems to be a problem. Historical Perspective (talk) 01:00, 28 January 2010 (UTC) ....Just consulted several more recent sources and added references. Historical Perspective (talk) 00:22, 29 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:34, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much! A tremendous help. Historical Perspective (talk) 00:23, 29 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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