Wikipedia:Peer review/Acute myeloid leukemia/archive1
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Hello - I'm looking for comments on ways in which this page could be improved, made more useful, re-formatted, etc with the goal of getting it into good article/featured article shape. On another note, any appropriate images would be greatly appreciated. MastCell 21:10, 21 August 2006 (UTC)
- Looks pretty good overall. A few ideas:
- In the lead: "Much progress has been made" is a little weaselly, and the statement about fatality needs a citation (even if that is implicit in the category of "acute leukemia", general readers won't know that). Also, "bone marrow and elsewhere" is awkward.
- The lead mentions research on causes of AML, but there's not much mention of current research in the article text itself. I believe in particular that AML and ALL are often used as test cases in genomics and microarray technologies designed to distinguish stereotypical cancer genotypes and predict prognoses.
- What is meant by the description of the cells as "immature"?
- In the History section: "when Velpeau described a 63-year-old florist..." - Velpeau is neither introduced nor wikilinked.
- Causes section should be prose (it practically already is; such long explanations kind of defeat the purpose of a bulleted list).
- It's not clear to me whether organic solvents have been implicated in causing AML specifically, or leukemia in general.
- The lead mentions the incidence-age correlation but the text contains no data on incidence more generally. A section on these subjects (any correlation with gender or ethnic groups? different rates in different countries? etc.) would be useful.
- It seems useful to give a brief explanation of why displacing normal bone marrow cells is bad. Just a brief expansion in the pathophysiology section to be more clear.
- Consider moving symptoms (and possibly diagnosis) above the classification scheme. Most people who read the article are probably looking for clinical information, not differences in international classification methodologies.
- Are there any typical or canonical genetic variations in the cancerous cells? The mention of chromosomal translocation tests suggests maybe, but I don't know.
- Is the cure rate 20-30% overall, or with treatments not including bone marrow transplantation? The prognosis section implies the former and the end of the treatment section sounds like it could be the latter.
Opabinia regalis 01:19, 24 August 2006 (UTC)
- The sentence in the introduction that states that the disease is curable, but not usually by current therapy seems self-contradictory.
- The article states that the mutations in pregression from a pre-malignant cell to a malignant cell only seen in transcription factors. From a brief skim of Pubmed I suspect there is also involvement of signalling proteins or apoptotic regulators. Ref1 Ref2
TimVickers 22:45, 28 August 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for the suggestions; I've done my best to incorporate them, although some are beyond what I can address knowledgably and so would need help from other expert editors. Input is much appreciated. MastCell 04:21, 29 August 2006 (UTC)