Wikipedia:Peer review/Air Tanzania/archive1

Air Tanzania

I've listed this article for peer review because I am looking to bring this Article into an A Class Article. The page has not been reviewed for years and it failed B Class certification due to in-line citations in 2013. I have since fixed alot of that and need some guidance on what needs to happen to bring the article closer to A-Class.

Thanks, Sputink (talk) 17:15, 1 January 2022 (UTC)

Comments from Rublov

Disclaimer: I have no particular expertise in either aviation or Tanzania.

• Lead
  • Don't know what the A-class standards are, but at FAC at least references in the lead are discouraged per WP:CITELEAD as everything in the lead should already be cited in the body.
  • is the flag carrier airline of Tanzania based in Dar es Salaam with its hub at Julius Nyerere International Airport — Bit of a run-on. Recommend at least adding some commas, but maybe splitting it into two sentences, e.g. is the flag carrier of Tanzania. It is based in Dar es Salaam, with its hub at Julius Nyerere International Airport.
  • Air Tanzania Corporation should be bolded instead of linked since it redirects here.
  • Tanzanian Government — "government" should be lower-case.
  • Write out John Magufuli's name in full.
  • I think "longhaul" should be hyphenated instead of one word.
  • Final paragraph has too many extraneous details, should be rephrased in summary style, e.g. A 2021 government report warned that the company's huge debts...
  • Per MOS:DOLLAR, I think the currency numbers should be written as US$194 million instead of USD 194 million.
  • In infobox, the name of the CEO shouldn't include "Mr."
  • Currency formatting in infobox's "Total equity" section is inconsistent with article.
• History
  • According to Andy Chande — I think this sentence should be moved to the end of the previous paragraph.
  • These aircraft returned to service in the year 1983, but were once again removed. — When were they removed?
  • Eight airlines submitted Expressions of Interest — "Expressions of Interest" should be lower-case.
  • Link due diligence?
  • The first couple of currency numbers under "ATCL (2002–2006)" don't indicate whether they are US dollars.
  • It also intended... It also planned — Awkward repetition of "also" here.
  • to sell 10 percent of its 51 percent stake — Literally this means 10 percent of its current stake, e.g. 5.1 percent of the total ownership, but I'm not sure that's what you mean. Could use clarification even if it is correct as written.
  • offering direct flights between Johannesburg and Dar es Salaam, but also to Zanzibar and Kilimanjaro. — "and also" instead of "but also". Also, consider incorporating this lone sentence into another paragraph.
  • It had been hoped to launch services to Dubai, India, and Europe, but these were delayed as Air Tanzania had only Boeing 737-200s in its fleet. — Why did this cause the delay? Are Boeing 737s not able to fly long distances?
  • Air Tanzania suspended on 31 January 2005 one of its few regional services → On 31 January 2005, Air Tanzania suspended one of its few regional services
  • four years of losses, which amounted to TZS 24.7 billion — Is there a USD conversion for this number? Would help compare it to the US$30 million later in the same paragraph.
  • hence officially terminating its partnership with SAA — "hence" is unnecessary.
  • There's a "citation needed" tag under "Relaunched ATCL (2007–2015)".
  • while Precision Air moved 583,000 passengers and Coastal Aviation 141,995 passengers. → while local competitors Precision Air moved 583,000 passengers and Coastal Aviation 141,995 passengers. as these airlines' names don't make it obvious that they are Tanzanian.
  • What happened with the Air Zimbabwe talks? I guess they fell through?
  • due to its failure to foresee suitable aircraft leases for the duration — Not sure "foresee" is the right word here, unless it's being used in some technical legal/business sense.
  • For consistency, the en dash in the section title "Revival (2016 – present)" should be unspaced.
  • of the fear of the planes being impounded → for the fear of the planes being impounded
• Destinations
  • Since there are only eight international destinations, might as well list them, or at least name the major ones.
• Fleet
  • I think this information would be better presented as a list than a table. The importance information (the number of aircraft in service) gets buried with some of the less important stats like passenger capacity.
• Accidents and incidents
  • Might be worth mentioning the airline has never had a fatal accident in the lead.

Overall, looks like a pretty solid article to me. There's a lot of details about business deals in the "History" section; some of them could be cut out. I don't know how strict A-class review is, but I'd look out for any paragraphs that don't end with a citation. Ruбlov (talk • contribs) 23:39, 7 April 2022 (UTC)