Wikipedia:Peer review/Among Us VR/archive1

Among Us VR

I've decided to list this video game article because I want to improve it. I want to at least get this article to a B-Class assessment. This is my first article that I've fully worked on.

Thanks, Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 18:08, 28 April 2023 (UTC)

Comments from Z1720

Comments after a quick skim:

• The lede is quite short; I suggest summarising all sections of the article into the lede.

Done. Feel free to give me some suggestions for the lead. Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 13:33, 3 May 2023 (UTC)

• The "Reception" section falls into the "X says Y" pattern. I suggest reading WP:RECEPTION to avoid this.

@Z1720 and QuicoleJR: I did a little bit of the reception. I plan on continuing reworking the reception section tomorrow. Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 00:32, 24 May 2023 (UTC)

@Z1720 I have reworked almost the entire reception section. What do you think? Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 13:27, 26 May 2023 (UTC)

Most sentences still have the format of "Author from publication said XYZ". Instead, group the reviews by theme, and if multiple sources agree on an aspect, don't mention the publications but cite both sources at the end of the statement. Z1720 (talk) 19:15, 27 May 2023 (UTC)

• Additional sources for the article can be found at WP:VG/S, Google and WP:LIBRARY. This will help expand the article.

I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 17:10, 29 April 2023 (UTC)

Comments from QuicoleJR

• The reception section needs work. The "X of Y said Z" stuff gets a bit repetitive and there are way too many quotes.

See above. Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 00:32, 24 May 2023 (UTC)

• "new tasks such as a Whac-A-Mole style task" Task is repetitive here, you should change one.

  I did this one myself. QuicoleJR (talk) 14:23, 12 May 2023 (UTC)

• If you can find more development info, that would be helpful.

I feel like there's more dev info in The Washington Post interview. I'll take a look later and see if there is. Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 13:58, 26 May 2023 (UTC)

• What is the source for the April Fool's Day horse hat? I do not see one, but I might just be missing it.

The information for the horse hat thing is in citation 17. Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 20:52, 3 May 2023 (UTC)

More comments coming. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:15, 3 May 2023 (UTC)

@Pizzaplayer219: I think that's about it. Any thoughts? BTW, this is my first review. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:48, 3 May 2023 (UTC)

I tried to help with the Reception section a little, but it still needs work. QuicoleJR (talk) 14:21, 12 May 2023 (UTC)

@Pizzaplayer219: Are you still watching this review? QuicoleJR (talk) 14:24, 12 May 2023 (UTC)

I'll try to do the reception section later today. Pizzaplayer219^Talk_Contribs 14:31, 12 May 2023 (UTC)