Wikipedia:Peer review/Aston Villa F.C./archive1

How can we get this page to GA status then FA status and what would anyone recommended?

(Everlast1910 20:18, 6 May 2007 (UTC))[reply]

Comments from Oldelpaso

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  • The lead section should be two or three paragraphs. See WP:LEAD.
  • The number of subheadings in the history section is excessive, and they editorialise in a non-neutral manner.
  • The history section should deal with all eras in an evenhanded manner. Currently, the last decade, in which Villa have not won a trophy, is covered in far more detail than eras in which the club won several.
  • The prose needs a thorough copyedit - it contains a number of basic grammatical errors e.g. there was only 14 playing staff used in the whole season. There are several instances of weasel words and a number of POV statements which need removing or referencing (e.g. This was a decision welcomed by many Villa fans; arguably Villa's best result since the 1982 European Cup Final; while 18-year-old defender Gareth Barry was easily the most competent young player in the Premiership that season; Dwight Yorke was now established as a world class striker).
  • A number of paragraphs are unreferenced. Any statement which could potentially be challenged by a sceptical reader should be supported by a reference.
Have added a number of references can anyone else see anywhere that is in need of reference.(Everlast1910 00:07, 7 May 2007 (UTC))
One I did notice - the bit in the 'Formation by Villa Cross Cricketers' where it states that the club was formed by cricketers wanting to stay warm in the winter. I would imagine that this comes under the same ref for the rest of the section but it looks unreferenced as it stands EyeSereneTALK 18:47, 10 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Does the list of notable players have inclusion criteria, or is it an arbitrary list of players chosen by those who added them?
  • Get rid of the Famous supporters section. A celebrity's support for Villa has no effect upon the club, if a person's support for Villa is truly notable it should be included in their article, not Villa's.
  • Where appropriate, convert bulleted lists into continuous prose (see Wikipedia:Embedded list).
  • For further pointers, take a look at some of the existing featured football articles.

Hope this helps. Oldelpaso 21:35, 6 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man

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  • Use dates etc in accordance with the relevant section of the manual of style.
  • Shorten the history section considerably and remove the many subsections - compare with Arsenal F.C..
  • Fair use images need rationale for each page on which the image is used - see fair use policy for assistence here.
  • See the dash policy - typically you'll find season descriptions ought to use the en-dash instead of the hyphen e.g. not 1953-54 but 1953–54.
  • I tend to write numbers below ten in text so "...five man board contained three members..."
Changed all the numbers to word form under ten.(Everlast1910)
  • Consider wikilinking football seasons thus: 1953–54.
  • European champions history belongs in the History of Aston Villa page, here you just need a brief synopsis of the tournament win, probably two sentences max, not five sub-sections.
Made a separate page with the full history on there which can be added to, then left a brief description (Everlast1910 19:24, 7 May 2007 (UTC))
Put Reference See Also and External links in the correct order (Everlast1910 19:24, 7 May 2007 (UTC))
  • Notable players. Why are they notable? Consider making a sub-page for List of Aston Villa F.C. players or similar, and perhaps only discuss a few here, like the ones in national halls of fame? Again, see Arsenal F.C. for how this is best achieved.
  • Coaching staff not required.
  • Turn records section into prose and consider adding a graph of league placements year-on-year.

That's it for now, let me know if I can help further. The Rambling Man 12:28, 7 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Additional comments

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Reading through the article, it uses 'Aston Villa' and 'Villa' interchangably. It would read more encyclopedically to use the club's full name throughout. Interesting article though ;) EyeSereneTALK 18:53, 10 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]