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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I propose this article for peer review as I feel the article has potential to be a good article or better.
Thanks, --jojo@nthony (talk) 07:40, 14 July 2015 (UTC)
Comments from RO
edit- Lead
- is an Indian high energy astrophysicist
- Shouldn't high-energy be hyphenated?
- The Government of India awarded him the third highest Indian civilian honour of Padma Bhushan in 1988.[5]
- You can remove "Indian" as it's quite clear what's meant.
- Early years
- Scan for missing commas; I'm seeing some run-ons.
- to develop the reading habit
- This should read, "to develop a reading habit".
- He did his schooling at the local high school in Nanjangud
- This needs work. How about, "he attended ..."?
- Rephrased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- This needs work. How about, "he attended ..."?
- specializing in Wireless
- This needs some clarification, or at least a Wikilink.
- Wikilinked--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- This needs some clarification, or at least a Wikilink.
- Career and legacy
- More issues with missing and/or misplaced commas.
- has a research station at Ooty which is equipped with and Extensive Air Shower array
- The nonrestrictive clause that follows "Ooty" should be set off with a comma.
- This research, later, developed into the Proton Decay experiments of the 1980s.
- Remove "later" as superfluous.
- Removed--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- Remove "later" as superfluous.
- "His experiments served as the base of his doctoral thesis on the intensity and angular distribution of muons at different depths"
- Why is this in italics? Is it the title of his dissertation? If so it ought to be in title case.
- Title cased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- Why is this in italics? Is it the title of his dissertation? If so it ought to be in title case.
- who helped him to develop Geiger Muller counters
- Drop the split infinitive: "helped him develop".
- He was also a member of the team experimented on the Grand Unification Theory to detect the decay of protons in deep environment in the 1970s
- "a member of the team that experimented"
- It was under the his directorship
- Corrected--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- The article would benefit from a general proofreading for these types of issues.
- superannuation
- Wikilink or explain for the casual reader.
- Wikilinked--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- Wikilink or explain for the casual reader.
- The citations in the last paragraph of this section are a bit distracting. You are not required to bundle them, but it might be a good idea here.
- Positions
- He was a member of the governing council of the institute from 1988 till 2007 of which 15 years from 1992
- It's not clear to whom this pronoun refers.
- Rephrased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- It's not clear to whom this pronoun refers.
- It was during this period, the institute set up the Himalayan Chandra Telescope
- How about, "During this period, the institute set up the Himalayan Chandra Telescope"?
- Rephrased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- How about, "During this period, the institute set up the Himalayan Chandra Telescope"?
- The last paragraph of this section reads as a list. See if you can add some prose to transition through it, so it's not just a listing of his past positions.
- Selected bibliography
- I think this would be better at the end of the article.
- Awards and honours
- This is also a little bit like a list. See if you can add some details to make it more prose-like.
- Copy edited--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- Personal life
- If this is all you know about his personal life, see if you can incorporate this into the biography, since a two sentence section is discouraged.
- Transferred to Biography section--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- Conclusion
It's a nice little article. The biggest issue with the prose is that parts are too much like a list versus prose. I also see lots of missing commas that will need to be added prior to promotion to GA. Nice job overall; keep up the great work! RO(talk) 20:03, 13 August 2015 (UTC)
- Further comments
Regarding this passage:
He secured his graduate degree in physics, with honours, in 1946 and completed his master's degree the following year, specializing in Wireless communication, from Mysore University.[7]
I find it confusing that he secured a graduate degree in 1946, but completed his master's the following year. Did he earn two graduate degrees during these years, because a master's is a graduate degree? RO(talk) 17:33, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
- His graduate degree was an honours degree and, as far my knowledge goes, many Indian universities allow honours graduates to appear for master's degree examination after one year of study.--jojo@nthony (talk) 17:51, 16 August 2015 (UTC)