Wikipedia:Peer review/Barber coinage/archive1

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I intend to nominate it for FA and would appreciate feedback. The Barber coinage may not be the most popular of coins but they have a devoted following and are worthy of an better-quality article. Thanks.

Thanks, Wehwalt (talk) 23:44, 16 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  Doing...: Peer reviews are like gold dust at the moment, but since Barber was an Englishman I feel bound to come to his aid. It may take a few days though. Brianboulton (talk) 00:06, 23 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

There is no hurry. I have to do a couple but I am presently traveling and it is hard to get in the right frame of mine. Thank you for that.--Wehwalt (talk) 00:15, 23 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: This is fairly familiar stuff to me now, with a well-worn cast. My comments are relatively trivial and should not cause too much bother.

Lead
  • "Many dates in the Barber coin series are not difficult to obtain..." - I think "many" would read better as "most"
Charles Barber
  • Suggest give full title of "Gorham's", so the uninformed reader knows what sort of organisation it was (without having to use the link)
  • "Morgan had designed the silver dollar which was being struck pursuant to the Bland-Allison Act of 1878". This might be thought tangential detail
  • I'd say "December 1879" rather than just "December"
  • He outlasted eight presidents but he served nine, which might be thought even more impressive. (I am privately more impressed by poor old Morgan, who patiently waited for 38 years for the job he was denied in 1879).
He did. I've always been curious to what kind of relationship the two men had. If I could find anything more on them than potted bios in coin books, I'd do their articles.
  • I don't think the Moran quotation easily fits the preceding narrative. It seems misplaced: whose "first blunder" was to "stay with Barber"? Why was it a blunder anyway, as it seems that Barber was "expert in the mechanics of his craft" and "unfailingly learned the requirements of cost-efficient coin production". Sounds to me like useful qualities.
Movement towards redesign
  • Why "As early as 1879" rather than "In 1879"?
  • "All three men worked to accomplish this" - I'm not clear what "this" is.
Inception
  • I'm rather confused by the wording in the opening paragraph. If the only point is that the new designs would not have to incorporate an eagle, I think this could be stated more simply.
  • "no money had been appropriated for the purpose" - presumably, no money beyond the $500?
Preparation
  • After "the current reverses be continued," the required punctuation is a full stop, not a comma
  • "Chief Engraver Barber told Leech..." Why suddenly use his title?
  • "The question of how to render the stars on the coin..." The stars representing the original 13 states, I presume, but this should be clarified: not all readers will know this.
Design
  • Check first paragraph for repeated prose. For example "The reverse of the dime depicts a wreath of corn, wheat, maple and oak leaves surrounding the words "One Dime"." ia preceded in the previous section by "For the reverse of the dime, on which, by law, an eagle could not appear, a slight modification of the reverse of the Seated Liberty dime was used, with a wreath of corn, wheat, maple and oak leaves surrounding the words "One Dime"."
Reception
  • Do we know which review made Barber angry?
Julian doesn't say, but I think one of my other sources does. I will research the matter when I return home on Tuesday.--Wehwalt (talk) 19:06, 29 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Colon, not comma, after "new pieces" (and also, later, after "injudiciously ranted")
  • Perhaps the Martin quote is rather too long? Maybe paraphrase
I'm going to defend that quote. First, as you yourself point out, there are few favorable quotes. Second, with the exception of the story about the New York belle (which is very nice color in my view), almost everything in that quote ties in with something which has been stated in the article. The Roman influence, the French influence. And though it is praise, it is tempered praise, looking ahead to the Great Redesign of 1907-1921.--Wehwalt (talk) 20:34, 29 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Most reviews were "favorable"' but the section is composed mainly of highly critical comments, with praise in very short supply.
I can't find anymore; I am going to rework this slightly.
Production and collecting
  • " a published mintage of 24" - clarify this means that only 24 coins of this type were minted (I thoughr fleetingly it might refer to carat or other measure of metal content)
  • "... the San Francisco Mint in June 1894 needed to coin $2.40 in silver left over from the melting of worn-out coins, and by coining into dimes, there was no metal remaining." I rather lost the sense from "...and by coining into dimes". Suggest: "just sufficient to coin 24 dimes."
  • "to be struck later in the year there" → "to be struck there later in the year"
  • "John Daggett had them struck..." Suggest "the 24 coins" to clarify "them"
  • "resulted on" → "resulted in"
  • I wonder if "narrower" is the right word here. "Narrow" normally applies to width rather than thickness; perhaps "thinner"?
Replacement
  • No issues

Brianboulton (talk) 15:41, 29 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]