Wikipedia:Peer review/Blake's 7/archive1

Blake's 7

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate Blake's 7 for promotion to Good Article status, I think it's almost ready and would like some feedback from uninvolved editors to see whether it cuts the mustard before I nominate it. The article uses British English without Oxford commas, and 'series' (singular and plural) instead of 'season(s)' as is usual on UK TV articles. I'm thinking of using a table of video and DVD releases at the end of the article but it's rather large (31 rows for the VHS tapes) and I'm not sure whether the existing prose is sufficient. Comments on prose, images, layout and all other aspects of the article are welcomed. Thanks, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 01:45, 26 January 2012 (UTC)

Brief comments from Nikkimaria

• Check italicization - titles like Brave New World should be in italics. be consistent in whether ship names are italicized, etc
• Don't use hyphens for line pauses, but instead either spaced endashes or unspaced emdashes

Done - spaced en dashes. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 13:59, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

• Why is Girlfriend capitalized?

Oops, it was a minor error - fixed. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 19:05, 26 January 2012 (UTC)

• What is an "alpha-grade worker"? In general, some of the plot points and aspects of the fictional world could be clearer for readers who don't watch the show

Done - he's now a " ...a worker of high social status classified as "alpha-grade"..." That's a good point which I'll deal with. Are there any other terms you found confusing or are unexplained? Baffle gab1978 (talk) 13:59, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

• What makes this a reliable source? This? This? Check for other questionable sources. Nikkimaria (talk) 15:22, 26 January 2012 (UTC)

I've removed the IMDB and Youtube references - The Anorak Zone reference covers merchandise (annuals, books, magazines) that I couldn't find elsewhere. The latter 'Louise and Simon's Blake's 7 Fan Site' (blakes-7.co.uk) is an interview with the new rights-holders that can't be found elsewhere, the former reference is a press release which probably can be found elsewhere. Amended - actually one of my books covers the marvel comics, so I'll change that over later. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 19:05, 26 January 2012 (UTC)

Thank you, Nikkimaria, I'll deal with those issues over the next few days. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 17:27, 26 January 2012 (UTC)

WP Comments

Just a look at the lead; I'll post my comments here:

• "Four series of Blake's 7 were produced and broadcast between 1978 and 1981." - do you mean "four seasons"?
• "A comparatively small range of Blake's 7 merchandise was issued by several companies." - "comparatively small range" is a bit awkward. Does the adverb need to be there? —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 20:42, 19 January 2012 (UTC)

Hi WP, thanks for taking he time to look at this article. British television tends to use 'series' (plural) instead of 'seasons', as do the Doctor Who, Hi De Hi, George and Mildred and other British TV articles. Above you'll find a 2008 discussion about this - I wanted 'seasons' then, as that's what my source material uses, but I agreed to leave it alone and 'series' does fit with other UK TV articles. '...comparatively small...' - I couldn't think of a better way of phrasing it at the time, but yes it's a small amount of merchandise compared to 'Star Trek' or 'Dr. Who'. Would '...a limited range...' be an improvement?

Thanks, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 21:55, 19 January 2012 (UTC)

Okay, thanks for clarifying. Limited range would work. I'll post more comments soon. —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 19:49, 26 January 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, WP; there's an ongoing peer review now; you can find the link at the top of the page, comments on all aspects of the article are welcome. :-) Cheers, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 01:26, 27 January 2012 (UTC)

I understand we've disputed this, but the purpose of ellipses in quotations is to show that there is missing information in place of the ellipses. Without the ellipses, the quotation is otherwise modified and misused. However, in the beginning and end of quotes, they are not needed because it is usually obvious that there is missing information there and the quotations are integrated into the prose, so ellipses are not necessary. Take it as a kind word of advice. By the way, a lot of the article is actually really well written. GA should be no trouble for you, but I'll help you out with the PR in case I have a long list of concerns. ;-) Best wishes, —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 21:41, 27 January 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for your comments, WP. I know ellipses can look awkward on a page but I don't think that exempts us from being intellectually honest.Omission isn't always obvious (your "usually" bears this out!). I 'will look again at this article in that respect to see where I can omit the ellipses. :-) Cheers, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 19:43, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

That's OK. ;-) However, are you sure there must be a space between a quotation mark and an ellipses? I've never seen this style used before... Thank you, —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 11:10, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Per MOS:ELLIPSIS: "Put a space on each side of an ellipsis ("France, Germany, ... and Belgium"), except that there should be no space between an ellipsis and: * a quotation mark directly following the ellipsis ("France, Germany, and Belgium ...")". You're right - I'm wrong, at least at the closing end! :-) Baffle gab1978 (talk) 13:53, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

• Do we use "the" before London or not? Check for this inconsistency. —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 11:33, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

HMS Ark Royal (91) an FA doesn't use 'the' - I'm unaware of an official policy on the use of 'the' before ship names, but to write "the London" seems unwieldy so I've used London in preference to "the London". Baffle gab1978 (talk) 13:53, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Jona's Comments

If I may baffle gab, here are my concerns while reading this interesting article:

Infobox

• Why does the run_time parameter reads "c. 50 minutes per episode"? Meerkat Manor, a FA television show, does not represent this. Also its best to use {{duration}} for this parameter.

Not done - 'duration' is a parameter that relates to music infoboxes, television uses 'runtime'; 'c.' means 'circa' which is Latin for 'approximately'. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

Lead

• "and was inspired by sources such as" - what does "sources" mean in this sentence?

"Sources" in this context means sources of inspiration (film and other media) that were drawn upon by the creator and writers of the programme. 'Changed to "fictional media texts". Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

• Why is Roj Blake wikilinked at its second occurrence?

Fixed Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

• "they commandeer an inferior spacecraft" - is this a typo?

No it isn't a typo; to commandeer is to take something from somebody for a specific reason, usually applied to a legal authority (police, military etc). Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

• "In the final episode, Avon discovers Blake's location and suspecting Blake of betraying the group to the Federation, kills him." - is not in past-tense tone, the rest of lead is in past-tense except for this sentence.

We use the present tense to describe fictional events that occur within the narrative per WP:WAF. This also tells the reader whether fictional or real-world events are being described. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

• "and its memorable final episode" sounds like an MOS:OPED to me

removed 'memorable' Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

• "but broadcasterClive James called it" - needs space

Fixed - thanks :-) Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

• "Music and sound effects were released by the BBC, toys and models were produced and books, magazines and annuals were published." - this reads like a run-off, xx was released, xy were published, and ab were published.

Yes I think this needs re-wording - I'll be onto it later.Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC) Done - sentence re-worded. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 08:15, 31 January 2012 (UTC)

References

• FN#58 and FN#77 needs to be fixed

Done - formatting errors Baffle gab1978 (talk) 08:15, 31 January 2012 (UTC)

• Use a consistent date format (compare FN#75 and #77)

Done - #77 dates converted to full d-m-y format. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 08:15, 31 January 2012 (UTC)

Thank you for pointing those reference problems to me, I'll fix them as soon as I can. Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

I hope this helps. Best, Jonayo! ^{Selena 4 ever} 20:13, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

Hi Ajona, thanks for commenting here, you've been very helpful. :-) This should be discussed at the peer review page; would you mind if I move these conversations into that page? It would help keep all the relevant comments together. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:29, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

• My closing comments: I'm closing this Peer Review now; many thanks to everyone who left comments; it's been good to have some critical feedback. I now feel more confident and look forward to nominating this article for Good Article status. If anyone wishes to add further comments, please feel free to leave them at mine or the article's talk page. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 00:59, 7 February 2012 (UTC)