Wikipedia:Peer review/Deva Victrix/archive1

Deva Victrix

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's improved vastly over the past few months, with large amounts over material being verified. I think the article is fairly comprehensive and would be looking to take it to WP:FAC in the near future. All comments are welcome, but especially whether anything should be trimmed or expanded, if it is too technical in places, does the tone work, and is it easily understandable?

Oh, and since it's not obvious from the name, this article is about a Roman town in Britain. Thanks, Nev1 (talk) 18:14, 17 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from User:GeeJo

Excellent article. I'm afraid I'm not able to offer much, but here are a few minor things I picked up from a quick glance, if only to avoid having this article go completely without comment:

Lead: In the second sentence, perhaps mention that Chester isn't just in Cheshire, it's the county town.
Lead: Last sentence, perhaps link rock cut.
Foundation: geography Ptolemy => geographer Ptolemy
Foundation: "...'playing card' shape – rectangular with rounded corners – it had four gates:..." - comment isn't parenthetical, as without the break the sentence is grammatically incorrect. Perhaps switch "it" for "and", or just break off into two sentences.
Foundation: "...contained barracks, granaries (horrea), military headquarters (principia), baths for the soldiers to maintain hygiene." - missing an "and".
Legionary baths/leginary quarry: in situ need only be linked once.

Good luck at FAC. GeeJo ^(t)⁄_(c) • 20:43, 20 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done Thanks for the help, I've made the changes as you suggested. Nev1 (talk) 15:32, 22 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Just two for now, both on images

Nice use of illustrations but the MOS asks that there be a picture in the lead.
I think it would be helpful to have a map or two - if nothing else a dot locator map for Chester could be used. The picture of the model of the camp is nice and a similar map would be useful if it could be made. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've bumped up one of the pictures to the lead (in my opinion the best one); the map would be a good idea, I'll get onto finding one. Nev1 (talk) 15:32, 22 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]