Wikipedia:Peer review/Don't Start Now/archive2

Don't Start Now

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because I am hoping to get it to FA status. I have already had 1 unsuccessful attempt at it but I think it has lots of potential. Thanks, LOVI 33 21:18, 24 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

NOTE, when you close this peer review, please be sure to remove it from Template:FAC peer review sidebar. If FA regulars have to do all the maintenance, they may stop following that very useful sidebar :) Good luck, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 18:47, 25 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

SandyGeorgia will do. Thanks for taking this on! LOVI 33 22:11, 25 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from SG

I will get to this soon, but in the meantime, please see:

Mike Christie's excellent essay about how to improve reception sections
Tony's exercises for tightening your prose at User:Tony1/How to improve your writing and User:Tony1/Redundancy exercises: removing fluff from your writing
My general advice at User:SandyGeorgia/Achieving excellence through featured content SandyGeorgia (Talk) 22:21, 25 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
You can install this script to convert faulty hyphens to WP:ENDASHes.
You can install this script to keep your dates in order.
WP:MSH don't repeat words in lower-level headings: [1]
MOS:CAPTIONS sentence fragments do not have final punctuation.
When citing a source in a foreign language, you should give the actual (non-English) title, and provide a translation of that title by using the trans-title parameter in the citation template.
Eleven uses of the word "also", see Tony's redundancy reducing exercises.
Is it possible to reduce the WP:CITATION OVERKILL? Sample: The track makes use of a percolating funk bassline which interchanges with piano chords and the house beat.[2][16][17][18] That doesn't seem to be something that screams for four citations. Sample only, pls check throughout.
- Citation overkill is everywhere: The song was serviced to contemporary hit radio formats the following day in Australia, Italy, and the United Kingdom, as well as the United States on 5 November.[46][47][48][49] Put those citations with the piece they are citing?
"Don't Start Now" premiered on 31 October 2019 at 13:00 HST (23:00 UTC) as the lead single from Future Nostalgia.[43][44] Why do we need to burden the readers with the exact times here ? (Encyclopedia, NOTNEWS ?)
Respectively just makes a sentence harder to read. And why does the encyclopedic reader need so many details on dates? On 15 November 2019, a vertical video and lyric video for the track were released on Spotify and YouTube respectively. -- > In November 2019, a vertical video was released on Spotify and a lyric video was released on YouTube.
Mike Christie's essay (above) on how to improve Reception sections could be useful.
Check your text throughout for statements that can be become dated and should have an "as of date" attached, sample only: It also holds the record for the most weeks in the top 10 without reaching number one.
Try to make better transitions so prose is not ... this, then that, then the other. Sample: She then runs down a staircase to return to the nightclub.[112] Lipa is later shown washing her face in the nightclub's bathroom and strutting in its hallway. --> She runs down a staircase to return to the nightclub, and is later shown washing her face in the bathroom there and strutting its hallway.

I hope that gives you enough to work on; prose nitpicking is not my strength, so I haven't done that, and I recommend that you have a music editor run through the prose, and also make sure all sources are reliable (I checked only the first ten or so and didn't see problems). Good luck ! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 19:08, 27 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

SandyGeorgia thanks for an amazing peer review. I will be sure to look at your comments. For now, I am going to close this. LOVI 33 17:06, 28 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]