Wikipedia:Peer review/Eastern chipmunk/archive1

Eastern chipmunk

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I've listed this article for peer review because…

I'm considering a run at FA for this article but need your input. Suggestions for improvement are wanted and needed. Thanks, Susanne2009NYC (talk) 13:12, 15 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This seems well-done to this non-scientist. I can't say for sure whether the article is comprehensive or not, but it must be at least close. I have a fair number of suggestions for improvement.

No dabs, no dead links in urls.

I ran a script to replace hyphens with en dashes in page ranges.

Taxonomy

"The Pleistocene fossil Tamias aristus from Georgia" - Link "Georgia" here on first use rather than later?

Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:19, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Description

"the blackish, well-haired but not bushy dorsoventrally flattened tail" - Briefly explain or link "dorsoventrally"?

Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:19, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"keel on the ventral tip" - Link or briefly explain "keel" and "ventral"?

Home ranges

"Settled individuals have about a quarter mile lifetime home range length while dispersing individuals may venture as far as a half mile." - Should these distances be given in metric also?

"Settled individuals have about a quarter mile lifetime home range length while dispersing individuals may venture as far as a half mile." - Perhaps "The lifetime home-range distance for settled individuals is about a quarter mile, while dispersing individuals may venture as far as a half mile"?

Diet

There's no need to link "seeds", "fruits", "nuts", "mushrooms" or "insects" because most readers of English are already familiar with the terms.

Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:19, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Beaked Hazelnuts" - Why capitalize this but not red oak and others?

Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:19, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

No need to link "acorn" a second time or to link "minute" at all.

Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:19, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hibernation

"the adaptation to true hibernation" - Link hibernation?

Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:19, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Communication and perception

Would it be possible to include a sound file?

Reproduction

The females leave their burrows about two weeks later and enter estrus. - Link estrus here on first use rather than later in the section.

Done Susanne2009NYC (talk) 20:19, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Survival

"The hypopial mite" - Should "hypopial" be briefly explained?

"at the extreme, it may live three years in the wild, and has been known to live two to three years" - This seems slightly illogical. If it may live three years in the wild, then it is not necessary to say that it has been known to live for less than that.

"There are records of 13 years in the natural state." - Another logical problem. If 13 is the record, three years is not "the extreme".

Relations with humans

"The species is of least concern to conservationists." - Link Least Concern?

Lore, literature, and art

There should be no direct links to external sites from within the main text. "How the Chipmunk Got Its Stripes" and "The Tale of Timmy Tiptoes" should not be linked to directly. Instead, convert the links to in-line citations that include the links.

"The name "chipmunk" is assumed to originate in the Native American... " - It would probably be better to say Ojibwe than Native American, since the latter includes many different peoples.

"In the middle nineteenth century, Chamberlain asserted:" - Tighten to "In the mid-19th century, Chamberlain asserted:"?

"The chipmunk has given his name to several place names in Vernon County, Wisconsin, (and elsewhere)" - Not sure whether this means several places in Vernon County or several places, including one in Vernon County. Specific place names could also be interesting; e.g., Chipmunk Corner, West Chipmunk, Chipmunk Hollow, or whatever.

"Set in the time when animals could talk, a chipmunk mocks a boastful bear" - Misplaced modifier. The chipmunk wasn't set in the time. Maybe "Set in the time when animals could talk, the story is about a chipmunk that mocks a boastful bear... ".

"who grows angry under the taunting" - Tighten to "which grows angry"?

"As the chipmunk attempts to flee the bear, the bear's claws graze his back and, ever since, the chipmunk has borne a series of scars on his back." - A bit awkward. Maybe "As the chipmunk attempts to flee, the bear's claws graze its back. From then on, all chipmunks bear scars on their backs."

Images

Would it be possible to add the page number, publisher, and place of publication for the Catesby drawing in Natural History of Carolina, Florida and the Bahama Islands? It might be from the 1974 re-publication described in WorldCat.

File:Chipmunk-burrow (exits).jpg lacks a summary on its description page at the Commons. Also, it and File:PSM V07 D451 Nest of american chipmunk.jpg create a text sandwich, which the Manual of Style says should be avoided. Perhaps you don't need the eastern chipmunk image since the article includes others.

The long caption on File:Gilles Gonthier - Stuffing its face (by).jpg makes the image plus caption cross a section border on my laptop screen. Shortening the caption would solve this problem by keeping the image entirely within the "Diet" section.

The other images and licenses look OK to me.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 00:11, 24 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]