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Edward VIII of the United Kingdom

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Previously rated as good article. Now requesting peer feedback. Please note that the article is LONG. DrKiernan 12:13, 6 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

LuciferMorgan

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"He is said to have told an American diplomat.."

Said? By whom? LuciferMorgan 21:45, 16 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

"The couple appeared on Edward R. Murrow's television interview show Person to Person, in which the Duchess repeatedly and loudly cut into the Duke's comments to correct his observations, and generally appeared to be the domineering personality her detractors had represented her to be."

This can be deemed one's own opinion, unless, this is the opinion of a critic or biographer. When people appear on TV, everyone has their own opinion - so it would be best to cite it, and say who feels that way. Be very wary of the word "generally" throughout the article. Here's an example;

1. He is generally said to have been a nice individual. (Wrong way) 2. Mr. X, Mr. Y. and Mrs. Z said he was a nice invididual. (Correct way)

Writing the info in this way avoids any accusations of POV as such. I hope this is being of help. LuciferMorgan 21:50, 16 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Ok that all sounds fine. I'll see what else I can comment in this peer review and your other requested peer reviews. It's a shame that some take ages for comments, or don't garner any. LuciferMorgan 11:55, 17 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Powerful figures in the British government deemed this marriage unacceptable, largely because Edward had become the Supreme Governor of the Church of England which prohibited remarriage after divorce."
Which powerful figures? Can you find any specific names? Also, can you cite this sentence please? Thanks. LuciferMorgan 22:18, 23 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Other sources support the Duchess's contention that he favoured German fascism as a bulwark against communism, and even that he initially favoured an alliance with Germany."
What other sources? Name them. LuciferMorgan 22:21, 23 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Awadewit

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Overall, I thought this was a very good article; the section on WWII was particularly well-written and easy to follow. Here are my suggestions.

  • The lead does not seem to summarize the article as a whole. It only summarizes Edward's life up until his abdication.
  • On the other hand, the King, though a harsh disciplinarian, was demonstrably affectionate and Queen Mary displayed a frolicksome side when dealing with her children that belies her austere public image, having been greatly amused by the children making tadpoles on toast for their French master[2], and encouraged them to confide matters in her which it would have provoked the King to know.[3] - run-on sentence
  • If you decide to go for FA at any point, the article will probably need more citations.
  • I agree with the previous reviewer that there are too many lists (although I consider lists internal to the prose as lists as well). For example, do we really need to know all of his godparents or all of the titles he gained when his father ascended the throne?
  • When the First World War (1914–18) broke out Edward had reached the minimum age for active service and expressed keenness to participate. - awkward use of "keenness"
  • Throughout the 1920s the Prince of Wales represented his father, King George V, at home and abroad on many occasions. He took a particular interest in visiting the poverty stricken areas of the country. - did he do anything for the poor or did he just visit?
  • He made unedifying and often deeply racist comments about the Empire's subjects and various foreign peoples, both during his career as Prince of Wales and later as Duke of Windsor, particularly in Africa and India but also in Canada, the West Indies, Mexico and Australia (see wikiquotes). - might you give an example here?
  • At the height of his popularity, he became the most photographed celebrity of his time and his dress sense emulated by those in fashion. - "dress sense" is odd diction
  • An enduring, albeit trivial, legacy is the fashion item of the Windsor knot, named for him after his fondness for large-knotted ties, though he did not necessarily wear the knot. - wordy sentence; also might you try to find a picture of the Windsor knot?
  • They hosted parties and shuttled between Paris and New York; many of those who met the Windsors socially reported on the vacuity of the Duke's conversation (see wikiquotes). - could you use examples instead?
  • The "Titles, etc." and "Legacy" sections seem unnecessary to me. If you decide to keep the "Legacy" section, consider deleting some of the superfluous material, such as the Bugs Bunny example.
  • A small issue - not all of your notes are formatted the same way.

Awadewit 09:07, 23 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Yannismarou

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First of all, congratulations for your first FA.Thanks! It still needs some work though - the new paragraph structure has displaced sentences from their citations. DrKiernan 10:38, 26 February 2007 (UTC)I am even more happy, because it is a Greek-related article! Now, my remarks for this article:[reply]

  • From the lead: "When King, Edward ... " What is this , doing there?
  • An advice: try not to interrupt sentences with inline citations; do it only if it is necessary for emphasis reasons. Prefer to place citations at the end of the sentences.
  • "He automatically became ... " You understand a brand new section, and, therefore, "he" looks ugly to me here. "Edward automatically ... "
  • If you go for FA, try not to have uncited paragraphs. I see one in "Military career".
  • "He made unedifying and often deeply racist comments ... " I am not sure about the adjectives ("unedifying") here. We tend to avoid them. A mere "racist" or maybe "deeply racist" would be fine IMO.
  • "Edward's unorthodox approach to his role extended also to the currency which bore his image. He broke with tradition whereby on coinage each successive monarch faced in the opposite direction to his or her prececessor. Edward insisted his left side was superior to that of his right, and that he face left (as his father had done). Only a handful of coins were actually struck prior to the abdication, and when George VI succeeded he also faced left, in order to maintain the tradition by suggesting that had any coins been minted featuring Edward's portrait, they would have shown him facing right." Uncited paragraph. And I am also not sure about "unorthodox approach".
  • "the harassed King". Harassed?! Isn't it a bit exaggerated.
  • "In September, 1939", "In February, 1940". We don't cite month-year per MoS; only date-month-year (e.g. February 2, 1940).
  • All the arguments in "World War II" are that he was a pro-Nazi. Aren't there any counter-arguments?
  • I would prefer "Legacy" before "Titles". It is prose, and part of the main body of the article.
  • Why is "Fashion" part of Legacy? I don't get it. And why two extrernal links, and no prose? What does this mean exactly?
  • Alphabetize categories at the end of the article. They are a mess!

--Yannismarou 09:35, 26 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

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