Wikipedia:Peer review/Eminem/archive2

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to see it to FA status. All feedback is appreciated.

Thanks, RealFakeKimT 19:13, 28 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

NOTE: when you close this peer review, please be sure to remove it from Template:FAC peer review sidebar. If FA regulars have to do all the maintenance, they may stop following that very useful sidebar :) Good luck, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 18:47, 25 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from SandyGeorgia

edit
  • At almost 12,000 words of prose, you will have a hard time finding reviewers to tackle this article. See my advice on WP:SIZE at User:SandyGeorgia/Achieving excellence through featured content. I recommend spinning something off via summary style.
  • You can install this script; I also recommend understanding the difference between WP:HYPHENs, WP:ENDASHes and WP:EMDASHes if planning to write at the FA level.
  • You can also install this script to keep your dates in order.
  • I fixed one instance of MOS:SANDWICH
  • Look at the Legal issues section for a sample of WP:PROSELINE ... IN 2001, in 2002, in 2006, in 2007, in 2010 ... every single paragraph starts the same ... not compelling prose ... a good copyedit (once the size is reduced) would help vary the prose and make it more interesting.
  • When using a non-English-language source, provide the original title and then add the English translation to the citation template with trans-title= parameter.
  • dead link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCbtvBEPPs8
  • What makes this a reliable source? https://www.xxlmag.com/rappers-most-instagram-followers/ I can't find an "about us" page. Sample only: Go through all your sources to make sure they are RS. Also incomplete citations-- no date, no accessdate ... check them all.
  • Every entry in Further reading has a harv ref error, sample:
    • Bozza, Anthony (2003). Whatever You Say I Am: The Life and Times of Eminem. New York: Crown Publishing Group. ISBN 1-4000-5059-6. Harv error: linked from CITEREFBozza2003.
      • Also, why are those not used as sources? (FAs have to be comprehensive, so if something is listed in Further reading we need to know what it offers that can't be added to the article.)
  • Copy edit needs, sample:
    • In 2003, Eminem, a lifelong fan of 2Pac,[62] provided production work for three tracks on the Tupac Resurrection soundtrack[63] He would follow this up the next year by producing 12 of the 16 tracks on Tupac's Loyal to the Game album.[63]

My suggestions: this article is not GA-ready or FAC ready. I suggest trimming it, doing all the above work, getting a copyedit, approaching GAN, followed by another peer review before approaching FAC. Good luck, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 19:24, 27 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]