Hello. I'm trying to get this article up to GA-status, and I could use any feedback you can give that could possibly improve it. Thanks in advance! -ryand 13:51, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
- Nice, well written, and well cited article. Some suggestions:
- Combine the '2003: Hollywood' and 'Recent years' section. '2003' is too short to be its one section. Can be combined to 'Recent years' or something else.
- I'd be careful about your usage of the Dragon Eye Congee movie poster. I don't know if your usage there meets WP:FUC since there is not analysis of the movie in the section you are using it. Same thing for Girl, Illustrated.
- What's the difference between 'Films' and 'Dramas'? Also, there should be some text in the Works section. There are too many consecutive blank subheadings.
- There are a couple single sentence paragraphs that should either be combined or lengthened.--NMajdan•talk 15:38, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for your comments! 'Dramas' actually refers to 'television dramas' - on hindsight, it is kind of ambiguous, and I've since merged the two television sections together. I've also removed the iffy movie poster and moved the book image to a more relevant section. I'll be working on the rest of your comments soon. Once again, thanks for your help! -ryand 17:39, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
My 2 cents:
- Do you really need to say her stage name first? Say her birth name.
- Expand your lead to accomodate more of the information in the article.
- Say "Singapore" not "Hakka." You're fully aware that Hakka links to an article about a Chinese ethnic group, right? It was horribly confusing to me.
- Until I read the end of the sentence, I wasn't sure what you were trying to say. Instead of what you have there, say "Born in Singapore to Hakka middle-class tailor parents..."
- I would check the spelling of the article. I think, if I'm right, that modeling is spelled with one l.
- The prose could use a bit of a light check.
- You overuse the charts.
Evan(Salad dressing is the milk of the infidel!) 20:37, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for your feedback! I've read through your points and tried my best to address them:
- Stage name vs. birth name: This has been changed. Thanks for pointing it out!
- Lead: I'm working on it!
- "Hakka": Thanks for pointing this out, I've replaced the sentence with your clearer one!
- Spelling: "Modelling" is spelt with a single l in American English, but with two ls in British English. As an article about a Singaporean actress, I felt the Commonwealth English spelling would be most appropriate. But I'll run the article through spellcheck again to check for stray typos.
- Prose: You're right, the prose is choppy and doesn't flow too well at parts. I'll work on it.
- Charts: I thought the charts were cluttered, but I'm not sure how this can be changed and still maintain all the information in the article. Could you give some suggestions?
- Again, thanks for your help :) -ryand 13:27, 22 December 2006 (UTC)
I left comments on the article's talk page. CyberAnth 00:02, 4 January 2007 (UTC)