Wikipedia:Peer review/History of the New York Giants (1994-present)/archive1

History of the New York Giants (1994-present)

I've done some work on this as part of my project to improve the NYG history coverage. Comments welcome, thanks in advance. Quadzilla99 14:54, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Jacob1207

The lead paragraph needs work. Maybe break it into two paragraphs and make it read easier. It needs to be cleaned up.
You don't need the "1994-96" sub section under the section "A new era: The retirement of Simms and Taylor." It's redundant since it's the only subsection there
- Done Quadzilla99 21:26, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Under "2000: Super Bowl Season" section, put a See also: Super Bowl XXXV. Maybe also put that year's Super Bowl logo in that section.
- Done Quadzilla99 20:26, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - Actually I removed it. Those are generally go directly under headers it would be out of place there. Quadzilla99 21:22, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    - It's wikilinked, so it will lead to the main article that way obviously. Quadzilla99 18:25, 24 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The prose throughout needs a lot of work.
- - See my comment below. Quadzilla99 20:36, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Some clumsy sentences. Ex. "It would in this game that the Giants suffered one of the worst playoff collapses in NFL history."
  - Done Quadzilla99 20:32, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- The Giants were penalized for an illegal man downfield (Seubert), and the game was over.I cost 58 guys a chance to go to the Super Bowl. I'd give anything in the world, except my family at this point, right now to still be retired." -- This is obviously quoting the long snapper, but that's not made clear. The quote needs to be introduced.
  - Done Wow complete error on my part, I copied the dialogue from the source article and pasted it twice, once in the middle of an unrelated sentence. It's fixed now. Quadzilla99 20:22, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Lots of over-used phrases. They were or weren't able to "build on" the prior season is uesd too much.
  - I'll get to work on that. Quadzilla99 20:36, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    - Okay, I'm trying to address your concerns. This article has been a little difficult for me as I don't really follow the Giants as much as I used to. I'll admit it's fairly mediocre now. The only reason I'm really working on it is I've done so much work on the other history sections (from periods when I was a huge fan) I might as well finish the job. Quadzilla99 20:36, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comment I'll continue to work on this. However, right now I archived the peer review. I've got other issues/articles to address currently. Quadzilla99 13:38, 27 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]