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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because this underwent a failed FAC where the oppose points includede comprehensiveness and substandard prose. Some works have been done after the FAC. I would be highly obliged if editors can comment on improving the article.
Thanks, Dwaipayan (talk) 04:39, 18 January 2013 (UTC)
Doing... Brianboulton (talk) 16:38, 24 January 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you :)--Dwaipayan (talk) 17:04, 24 January 2013 (UTC)
Comments: I have not copyedited the article, though I have made one or two corrective edits; I can't guarantee I've picked everything up. My general comments are:
- Considering the historical importance of Indian Inependence Day, I am surprised that the article is relatively thin. The article seems to have two purposes: first, to summarise the events leading to and carried out on actual Independence Day, 15 August 1947, secondly, to discuss the annual commemorative celebrations. That's OK, but I think that much the greater weight should be given to the events of Independence Day itself. After all, unlike 4 July 1776, on which date Americans declared their independence, on 15 August 1947 Indians achieved theirs.
- The brief summary of the events preceding Indpendence Day looks all right, though I don't have detailed knowledge. However, the account for the day itself is very limited; we have the extract from Nehru's speech, and an unattributed summary programme of events in a box to the right, but little else. I am sure that the available sources recording this historic day would enable a much more vivid account of the day to be provided.
- For example, who apart from British and Indian officials was present at the ceremonies? Was Pakistan represented? Surely, Mountbatten mada a speech at some point; what did he say? Can we have more information about the national flag, including a description?
- A point of detail: who swore in the governor general? Incidentally, it's wrong to say Mountbatten "continued as its first governor general"; this was a new office.
- We should have a clearer account of what was happening away from New Dehli. There are general references to the "carnage" taking place at the borders and elsewhere, and some speculative casualty figures, but we should have information about particular incidents that took place on 15 August 1947.
- Some reorganisation of content may be advisable: the mention of Pakistan's Independence Day should be transferred to the "Immediate background" section. Also, the information about the Purna Swaraj declaration should be placed before the subsection on Independence Day itself, possibly in its own subsection. At present some is in "History" and some in Celebrations".
- Some of the "popular culture" information looks a bit trivial. For example, is it really noteworthy that radio and TV stations broadcast patriotic music and films? I'm not sure how much of this section is worth keeping, and as you say, the books that you mention are not really concerned with Independence Day itself.
- A small point, but should the differences between The Indian Congress Party and the Muslim League be referred to as a "squabble", which word normally is used in relation to petty quarrelling?
- The "Times of India" image has been listed for deletion on the grounds of not being PD in the USA.
- I am not sure of the grounds whereby you are claiming that the "Red Fort" image is PD in the US.
I hope that you find these comments helpful. As I do not watch individual peer review pages, please ping my talkpage if you have questions arising from this review, or if you want me to look again. Brianboulton (talk) 16:51, 25 January 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks a lot for the review. In a nutshell, we need more description of 14-15 August 1947, covering Delhi as well as other parts of the country. We have some resources for that, especially the books Freedom at Midnight. So, we will do do that work.
- The red fort and Times of India images will probably be deleted in Commons. Indeed they lack US PD rationale. We will remove those two images.
- Once the points you have raised are addresed (even if the Peer Review bot archives this page by then), I will ping you. We greatly needed a thorough peer review, thanks for guiding. Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 17:03, 25 January 2013 (UTC)
Comments; To be comprehensive the article needs to describe few of the aspects regarding the Independence Day and the lead up to it in some detail:
- Between June and August 1947 there was a real chance that India would be a fragmented nation which recognized the rights of princes. Negotiations by Patel and Menon and Mountbatten's influence prevented this from happening. Political integration of India apart from (and often linked to) partition was an important feature of events in pre–independent India. It needs to be given greater weight in the article.
- If possible, a comparative map of how India looked on 14th (before transfer) and 15th August could be added to the article. This should help though I don't like the colouring scheme. Hyderabad, Junagarh and J&K did not accede to India before 15th and therefore should have been shown in the same colour.
- Astrological significance of 14th midnight should be mentioned. Many astrologers regarded 15th August as an inauspicious date. However, luckily for Mountbatten, 14th midnight was seen as suitable.
- Decorations and ceremony that took place on 14th–15th August 1947 have been ignored. They might/might not be same as contemporary Independence Day celebrations. For instance, on that day, triumphal arches were constructed, conch shells were blown, members of constituent assembly gathered and waited till midnight, and military bands including that of the INA performed.
- Celebrations describe only one aspect of how India looked on 15th August. Delhi had about half a million refugees in 200 camps and large parts of Punjab were in flames. This deserves a mention.
I don't think I have suggested anything that Freedom at Midnight or any other relevant popular book won't cover. However, if you still need help with referencing, let me know. Correct Knowledge«৳alk» 21:44, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
Hi, I'll take a look and comment in more detail after the weekend. Main thing, as noted above, is that the history section (especially about that day, 15 August 1947) needs to be expanded.—indopug (talk) 13:42, 31 January 2013 (UTC)