Wikipedia:Peer review/Iowa (album)/archive2

Iowa (album)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think it has potential to be a featured article and I don't think it's far from being submitted for review.

Thanks, REZTER ^TALK ø 19:45, 25 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done

I have placed a {{fact}} 'plate for the songwriters. The article makes a strong point about Joey Jordison and Paul Gray working on the songwriting while other members had a break. It is reinforced by descripton of tensions between band members during the recording of the album. However the Track listing section ascribes all the tracks to Slipknot without individual songwriters thus not supporting this important claim. Consequently, all tracks should have individual songwriters cited.Shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:27, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well that exact quote comes from the booklet in the CD. Slipknot never list the tracks with each individual songwriters so it's impossible to provide this information, they simply credit the band as a whole. Shall I cite that statement in the tracklisting to the CD booklet? REZTER ^TALK ø 11:40, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah do that but also find out what ASCAP says (try ASCAP Ace search engine) for each song. You may have to re-write the sentence(s) in the main text to indicate that the CD liner notes (who wrote it by the way?) claim Jordison & Gray worked on the lyrics/tune but that songwriting was finalised by all of the band during recording sessions.Shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 13:04, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That ASCAP page just lists all nine members for all the songs. Like I told you... they normally credit the band as a whole for the writing and recording of the album, even though I'm sure that isn't how it works for every song. I hope that the article doesn't appear so that Joey Jordison and Paul Gray wrote the whole album because I don't have a source for that... the information I have indicates that those two wrote a lot of material before they entered the studio and I don't know the involvement of each member after that. REZTER ^TALK ø 17:00, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In that case try: and together they wrote most of the tracks for the album. > and together they started to write most of the tracks for the album. Still use liner notes ref. In the Track listing section, All songs written > All songs credited to, Crahan, Fehn, Gray, Jones, Jordison, Root, Taylor, Thomson, Wilson, with the ASCAP ref supplied. Use full list from ASCAP rather than Slipknot as members line-up performing on an album is not always same as members who wrote a song (somebody left or joined in between).Shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:53, 6 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
- What makes the following reliable sources?
  - http://www.chartattack.com/photos/photo-of-the-week/slipknot-kill-the-industry
    - This is the website for the Chart magazine. Gary King (talk) 17:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - http://www.mp3.com/albums/494117/summary.html
    - I removed this as the sentence that this cites already has two other citations that adequately cover the information. Gary King (talk) 17:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - http://www.everyhit.com/
    - I don't think this is reliable, but I'm not sure what to replace it with. I've marked it with {{rs}}. Gary King (talk) 17:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

For #1 UK alb, try The Official UK Charts Company : ALL TH No.1 Albums or Chart Stats - Slipknot - Iowa which seem reliable.Shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:15, 6 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah done, thanks Gary King (talk) 03:05, 6 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

For all Slipknot singles & albums on UK charts try Chart Stats - Slipknot which should be reliable. It can be used to replace current ref #33 which leads to a Search engine where the user is required to input details. Chart Stats ref also supports #1 position for album.Shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:26, 6 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

- You've mixed using the Template:Citation with the templates that start with Cite such as Template:Cite journal or Template:Cite news. They shouldn't be mixed per WP:CITE#Citation templates.
- You need page numbers for all book references
- Please spell out abbreviations in the notes. Yes, they are linked, but you don't want your readers to leave your article, they might never return.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ealdgyth (talk • contribs) 14:18, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

All done Gary King (talk) 17:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]