Wikipedia:Peer review/Kerry Ellis/archive1

Kerry Ellis

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it hasn't had one in quite a while and much has been added since its last review. It also needs much critique to help its potential status as GA.

Thanks, Stephenjamesx (talk) 12:28, 22 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comment: There is a dab, "wrench". Also, six dead URLS in the citations. Finetooth (talk) 17:10, 28 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Most of the time, we don't see refs in the lead because everything in the lead should be expanded upon in the main body of the article.
She's British so I'd expect to see this article in British English (e.g. recognized -> recognised).
Would link Suffolk in the lead, it's not a common place name for most of our readers.
" in 1998, she made" new para, so reiterate Ellis, instead of "she".
"After meeting rock musician" would prefer to see that as "Queen guitarist" since that's really what he is.
"Despite her misfortune " really? Or did she just not get through?
"Ellis has been expanding her " make this past tense.
"with rock musician Brian May" don't repeat May's first name and don't reintroduce him.
" second studio album with Brian May." again, no need for the Brian.
at the Wolsey Theatre where " qualify perhaps with "in nearby Ipswich".
If you really want to link pantomime, do it the first time round.
"Freshly graduated, " a bit tabloidy so perhaps "Following her graduation" or something more neutral in tone.
I think "first understudy" is worthy of a link.
Last two sentences of first para of Career beginnings... section are unreferenced.
When you abbreviate to WWRY it's in italics, when you re-use the abbreviation it isn't...
Several paras without a single ref probably could be improved.
(just a thank you: very pleased to see the tables have row and col scopes so screen readers get the best out of it!)
Work and Awards sections are both completely unreferenced.
Try to avoid SHOUTING in ref titles.
Not sure the BBC is a work, most likely a publisher.

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:02, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]