Wikipedia:Peer review/Larisa Iordache/archive1

Larisa Iordache

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is currently rated as Start-class, and I think that it should be rated higher. Please leave your opinions as to what rating you think this article deserves.

Thanks, Riley1012 (talk) 00:32, 3 October 2014 (UTC)

Comments from Onel5969

Okay, this is definitely at least a C-class article.

• First, the lead is too brief. It needs to be fleshed out slightly to more accurately reflect the content of the entire article. This could be the largest reason it's sitting at Start class.
• The personal section is also brief. What are her parents' names? What was the grandmother's name? Where was she born? Where did she train in her early years?
• The Junior Career section needs to have a brief intro statement. Why did she decide to actively compete at this time? Who was her coach?
• 2010 reads like a bullet list, rather than a prose section. It simply tells the results of the three competitions she was in that year. Did nothing else happen during these months? Why did she choose these three events? Did she not compete in others, and why?
• Same issues with 2011 reading like a bullet list. Same questions, too. In addition to those, there are others. Why was she chosen as a guest at the French competition? When did she make the Romanian team? Any info on the Romanian team trials?
• Also, in general during these two years, who was her coach? Her choreographer?
• In the Senior career, again there needs to be an intro section. Why did she move up from Junior to Senior? Whose decision was it? When did it occur?
• 2012. A little better (due to the paragraph on the Olympics), but still mostly reads as a bullet list. Were the early meets all as part of a Romanian national team? If so, how was it selected? (I'm wondering if these were tune-ups for the Olympics). It might also help (in these senior years) to mention who she lost to in some of these meets.
  • The quote from Belu in May is good, the article needs more of that.
  • The Olympic paragraph is the best paragraph so far. However, how did she develop the foot injury? When did she? After the competition was there any information about how it actually effected her performance? On the whole, this paragraph could be greatly enlarged... she led her team to a third place finish. Who finished first and second? The inherent drama here is missing, even though she was injured and still managed to help her team.
  • After the Olympics, did she simply rest the remainder of the year? If so, was it due to her injury?
• 2013 is the best overall year, being the least year which sounds like a bullet list. In the Qatar event, was that as part of a Romanian team? If so, how did they finish (my guess it was individual). The European Championships is the best overall paragraph in the entire article. Still, it ends too abruptly with that last sentence. Who beat her in the floor? Who did she beat in the beam?
  • When was the Anadia World Grand Prix? Where? The single sentence is grammatically awkward.
  • At the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships, who were her rivals? Who finished ahead of her bronze medal finish? And was the bronze in the All-Around, or only for the Floor? The description of her competition is nicely done, although at times it is grammatically awkward.
• 2014 is woefully brief. The prose that is there also needs to be worked on. The section needs to be expanded, who did she compete against? Where were the competitions held? When were they held?
• The infobox is good, as is the table regarding her competitive history.

On the whole, I can see that this article is definitely a C level article. The prose needs work overall. It's well cited, and the pics are nicely done, and have no copyright issues. Some final points:

• Article needs expansion overall, their are no segues between years. A personal life section would be interesting as well (where does she live?). Discussion should be included about her coaches: when she was with each one, why she changed coaches.
• I also think that the article is weakened by ignoring the rich history of Romanian women's gymnastics. It shouldn't be a large part of the article, but I feel it definitely should have a part, I mean, this is the country that produced the first 10.

I hope this helps. I don't know a whole lot about women's gymnastics (or gymnastics in general, for that matter), other than watching it every four years. Hopefully someone with more knowledge of the subject will add notes.Onel5969 (talk) 01:30, 8 October 2014 (UTC)