Wikipedia:Peer review/Laugh, Laugh/archive2

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to eventually nominate it for FAC if it can be improved enough. There was a previous peer review, after which the article passed GAN last month. I've found feedback to be most helpful, so I would greatly appreciate all suggestions related to prose, style, sourcing, and anything else that needs attention.

Thanks,  Gongshow Talk 22:12, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

oncamera writes

edit

I read through the article and couldn't find any big issues that stood out to me! Maybe there's a little issue with WP:OVERLINK, but maybe not. Cheers, oncamera(t) 02:51, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: It's hard to find anything to complain about here. This is an interesting, highly readable article, well-sourced and apparently comprehensive. The image will need alt text, but writing just one of these should be easy, and my other three suggestions are minor.

  • The image lacks alt text, and it will need it to pass FAC. Alt text is meant for readers who can't see the images, and it's not the same as a caption. WP:ALT explains how to write alt text and where to put it. You can look in at WP:FAC to see recent examples as well.

Release and reception

  • ""Laugh, Laugh" was the first hit single to respond to the British Invasion from a burgeoning San Francisco music scene[19][20] which included such bands as Jefferson Airplane, the Grateful Dead, We Five, Moby Grape, Quicksilver Messenger Service and Country Joe and the Fish." - Since the British Invasion wasn't from San Francisco, it might be better to re-cast this somehow. Suggestion: "Laugh, Laugh" was the first hit single from a burgeoning San Francisco music scene—including such bands as Jefferson Airplane, the Grateful Dead, We Five, Moby Grape, Quicksilver Messenger Service and Country Joe and the Fish—to respond to the British Invasion.
  • "issue of Billboard which credited the use of harmonica in folk, pop, and R&B music for sparking... " - Spell out Rhythm and blues (R&B) on first use?

Other versions

  • Surf rock group The Astronauts covered "Laugh, Laugh" on their 1967 album... " - It might be a good idea to wikilink covered on first use.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 19:53, 16 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]