Wikipedia:Peer review/Leeds United A.F.C. seasons/archive1

Failed FLC. Might nominate again after this.


Thanks,

Buc (talk) 22:49, 15 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Peanut4
  • Current season. First of all I would lose this sentence It does not however include full details of the current season. in the lead. Then I would lose the current season details. It looks confusing and is unnecessary. It will need updating regularly, which isn't necessarily too difficult, but also readers who aren't au fait with everything football might not realise the season is complete or Leeds have already been knocked out of the FA Cup, etc.
  • I'm unsure what the picture of Billy Bremner adds to the article except for simply putting on an image for necessity's sake, unless you change the caption to say something of Bremner's accolades at Leeds and the seasons he played.
  • Certain sentences in the lead probably need referencing
    • Leeds United A.F.C. were founded in October 1919, taking the place vacated by Leeds City Reserves.
    • They have played their home games at Elland Road throughout their history.
    • All these honours were won under the management of either Don Revie or Howard Wilkinson.
  • As does the did not enter FA Cup in 1919-1920. Otherwise the FA Cup record is in sources below.
  • The lead section flits between Leeds as they, it and they.
  • Same for the club has and the club have.
  • The footnotes and references section looks horrendous. As The Rambling Man said at the FLC split them back up and maybe directly add references where necessary.
  • Footnotes 11, 16 and 17 need full stops.
  • Footnote 15 ought to be after the points tally not the position since it refers to a reduction of 10 points.
  • Footnote 17 same as above. But the line really needs removing anyway.
  • Any chance of finding the top scorer and average attendance in 1919-1920?

That's all for now. Peanut4 (talk) 22:15, 17 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

One more thing

  • only had two prolonged spells. I'd quantify this to something like only had two prolonged spells of more than ten years or whatever is appropriate. It looks vague otherwise. Prolonged to the likes of Everton or Arsenal is entirely different to Swindon or Barnsley. Peanut4 (talk) 15:51, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]