Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Drexel University alumni/archive2

List of Drexel University alumni

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've overhauled this list over the last two months and think that it could be ready for FL but I'd like some feedback beforehand. Prose isn't my strong suit and this is my first time adding alt text so any comments on those particular areas would be appreciated as well as any comments/improvement suggest on the list in general. Thanks, --ImGz (t/c) 20:21, 7 February 2010 (UTC)

Medicine and NASA seem to be subcategories of the broader Science and engineering category. I suggest that you reorganize the list as such. Benny the mascot (talk) 00:14, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the suggestion. I've moved NASA into a subsection of the Science and engineering heading but I've left Medicine as is for now. Drexel's medicine curriculum is relatively separate from it's S&E curriculum, so I'm not sure it would fall under the heading. --ImGz (t/c) 05:16, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is an interesting list, nicely illustrated. I have several suggestions for improvement.

Alt text

• You asked about alt text. The portrait subsection at WP:ALT has good examples of how to describe portraits. I think yours are generally pretty good, but I'd suggest eliminating mentioning that each image is a photo, and it's best not to include background information not apparent in the image itself. For example, "A black and white photo of a group of seven male graduate students in suits, three sitting and four standing, against a dark background" does not need the phrase "A black and white photo" and should not include the idea that these are graduate students since nothing in the image suggests that. Better would be "Seven men, three seated and four standing behind the three, look straight ahead with solemn expressions. Formally dressed in suits and ties, the men are about age 20."

I'll work on this today Looked at ALT and a few recent FA's - tried to clean these up a little.

Layout

• I don't think this layout will survive FLC. You need to find a way or ways to pull the material together without all the huge white spaces. I often find it useful to look for models to imitate among the articles at WP:FA or WP:FL. See, for example, how List of Georgia Institute of Technology alumni handles the space problem. If you like the looks of the Georgia article, you can imitate the coding to get a similar result. Or, if you look at other FLs that you like, you might find other solutions.

Could you explain what you mean by huge white spaces? Perhaps it's my browser/screen size (1280x800 and I've checked on 1024x768) but I'm not seeing a ton of white space besides the one section without a photo. I based the formatting on this list off of the most recent alumni list to pass FLC, List of University of Central Florida alumni, which also has sections without photos, but like List of alumni of Jesus College, Oxford: Law and government I can extend that picture-less section table to take up the entire screen width if that's the problem.

Ah, glad you asked. I looked at the list article just now on two other monitors, and it looks fine. It's only on my laptop, set at 1024 x 768, that the problem appears. On my laptop, the images in the main text (but not the lead) are completely separated from the tables. The pattern is (1) table, (2) big white space with images to the far right, (3) table, (4) big white space with images to the far right, and so on to the end of the main text. Setting the table width to 75 percent rather than 80 percent appears to solve the problem. Finetooth (talk) 18:28, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

Ok thanks! I've changed it from 80% to 75% so hopefully that will fix that, odd that it never showed up for me. --ImGz (t/c) 18:51, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

Thanks. It looks fine now on both laptop and desktop. Finetooth (talk) 18:54, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

Lead

• It would be good to mention that Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, is in the United States. Not all readers who live elsewhere will know that. Then "the nation" in the second sentence will make perfect sense.

Done

• "inventor of bar code technology" - Wikilink bar code?

Done

• I would spell out Science Applications International Corporation (SAIC) and abbreviate it on first use.

Done, the lead has it spelled out with the abbreviation beside it and the list uses the abbreviation

• Spell out and abbreviate National Basketball Association (NBA) on first use?

Done, same as above

Architects

• "American architect, founding dean of 3 architecture schools and official architect for 2 universities and one state system of 3 universities" - Generally, numbers from one to nine are written as words.

Done

Humanities

• "American architect known for his work in the Art Deco" - Link Art Deco?

Done

Science and engineering

• Spell out and abbreviate American Chemical Society (ACS) on first use?

Done

General

• Consider linking individual states on first use since readers who live outside the U.S. may not know what Alabama, for example, refers to.

Done, I think I got the first usage linked --ImGz (t/c) 15:40, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 05:17, 17 February 2010 (UTC)