- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like comments on where the articles needs improvements, which sections (if any) need expanding or contracting. If my references are in order, if my placement of pictures are correct and if I need more or less pictures.
Thanks, Mopenstein (talk) 20:01, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
Finetooth comments: Manchester sounds like an interesting place, and this is a good start on an article about it. Here are a few suggestions for further improvement.
- Dates like 1863 in the lead should not be linked.
done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC) - Constructions like Baltimore County, Maryland, or Hanover, Pennsylvania, take a comma after the state name. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
- I did some proofreading and fixing, but the entire article could use another round of proofreading to catch nitpicky things.
- It's often helpful to editors working in a particular subject area to look at featured articles in that area to see what other editors have done. You'll find a list of featured articles about towns and cities at WP:FA#Geography and places.
- Another good place for advice about city articles is WP:USCITY. The guidelines there, for example, suggest a standard arrangement for the order of sections in a city article and include ideas about what might be said about a town or city. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Present day
- Because "present" is non-specific, it would probably be better to use "21st century" or "Since 2000" or something similar. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Official seal
- "The large oak would later become a fixture of the town... " - "became" rather than "would become"? done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Government
- "Manchester has a democratically elected Mayor and Town Council. The Mayor and individual Councilman are elected for a term of four years." - Words like "mayor" and "town council" are normally lower-cased when used in a generic way rather than as part of a formal name. Ditto for "councilman". In addition, the Manual of Style recommends using words, where possible, that avoid gender bias. Thus, councilors would be better than councilmen. done Mopenstein (talk) 22:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
- The Manual of Style generally deprecates extremely short sections and extremely short paragraphs. Two solutions are to expand or to merge. In this case, I think you could reasonably merge all of the subsections in this section. In addition, WP:MOS#Bulleted and numbered lists says in part, "Do not use lists if a passage reads easily using plain paragraphs." For this reason, I would suggest turning the bulleted list in this section into straight prose. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Education
- I'd turn the list here into straight prose as well. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
- Words like "ninth grade" and "kindergarten" should all be lower-cased unless part of a formal name. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Parks
- I'd combine all of the subsections here too. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
- For emphasis, Wikipedia normally uses italics rather than bolding, per MOS:BOLD. This would apply to Charlotte's Quest. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Events
- I'd eliminate the subheads and combine the subsections under the general head. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Geography
- Since these subsections are so short, I'd combine them. It would be possible to add to the first paragraph, though, by saying something about geology, topography, and nearby bodies of water or mountains, if any. Is the land flat? Is it rolling? What sorts of soils and rocks does the town lie on? done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
People of note
- I'd suggest putting this section last. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
Infrastructure
- I'd turn the list into straight prose and combine the subsections. done Mopenstein (talk) 12:09, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
References
- Citations to Internet sources should include the author, title, publisher, date of publication, url, and access date, if all of these can be found. The "cite" family of templates provide a convenient way to do fill-in-the-blank citations, and the templates put the elements in the correct order. You can find them at WP:CIT and play around with them in your sandbox to see how they work. Don't mix citation styles in a single article; that is, don't use the "citation" family of templates as well as the "cite" family; you'll find both at WP:CIT. done Mopenstein (talk) 14:48, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
Images
- Nice images. You'll want to add categories to your images at the Commons. "Towns in Maryland" seems like a good one to start with, and you might find other good fits. The categories help other users to find your images and possibly add them to other articles.
I hope these suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 23:05, 28 July 2009 (UTC)