Wikipedia:Peer review/Mario Balotelli/archive1

Mario Balotelli

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because, I would like to make it Good Article standard and would like some oppinions and feedback of other users before I start work on the article. Thanks, –LiamTaylor– 22:40, 23 February 2011 (UTC)

Comments from Canada Hky (talk · contribs)

• Comments from my experience getting some hockey and (gridiron) football articles to GA status. Canada Hky (talk) 03:45, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
  • Typically, if the fact is cited in the body of the article, the inline citations aren't needed in the lead.
  • The lead is a bit short to adequately summarize the material in the rest of the article. The info about his nickname could probably be omitted in favour of a more thorough summary of his career.
  • The "cramped lifestyle" makes it sound like it refers only to Balotelli, presumably it refers to the way his family lived.
  • The comment about his biological parents "glory hunting" seems to come out of nowhere, because there is no mention of his parents wanting him back. A bit of context, or reorganization might help.
  • Lots of football jargon - "senior side", "set-piece", "penalty" (presumably kick), etc.
  • In the Style of play section, the part about "petulant attitude" probably needs a direct cite.
  • Having inline cites in numerical order cleans things up a lot.
  • The dead links in the references should be cleaned up / replaced if possible.
• This isn't an exhaustive list, just some things to get you started. The article could probably do with a thorough copyedit and some polishing before GA / FA. Interesting read, though.  :) Canada Hky (talk) 03:45, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
  • Iv'e done all your points. Thanks mate, your comments helped, much apprieciated. –LiamTaylor– 11:46, 24 February 2011 (UTC)