Wikipedia:Peer review/Muhammad Iqbal/archive1

Muhammad Iqbal

Hi all - I've done a lot of expanding and formatting, and I hope that with the help of all, this article can become an FA. Please give your advice and comments. Rama's Arrow 12:21, 31 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Have not the article in totality yet. Some observations:
The first paragraph of "Iqbal's poetic and writing career" describes just his family life. This para should not be there under that section.
IMO, the artilce is in general short in inline citations. Large volume of texts discussing Allama's works go uncited. Also lines like "Although it is not believed that there was an affair, Iqbal was very fond of her and grew to love her." "Despite having a large family, Iqbal and his wife were unhappy in their marriage." "Iqbal married his second wife, Sardar Begum in 1908, but soon separated from her as he developed doubts about her based on anonymous letters." may warrant inline citations.

a short intro on Mawlana Rumi (within brackets, like, a thirteenth century Persian poet and theologian) would be good.

All publications (not all individual poems/proses, of course!) mentioned should be wikilinked at least (probably the rule is only once) in the body of the article, besides links in the template of Iqbal's works.
"Pas Cheh Bay ed Kard ai Aqwam-i Sharq includes the poem Musafir. Iqbal's Rumi, the master, utters this glad tiding "East awakes from its slumbers" "Khwab-i ghaflat"" : difficult to understand line.
voluntary poverty: meaning?

Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 17:53, 31 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hmmm...I'm a little strapped for references - no books are available on G-Scholar, plus most data comes from Pakistan govt and Iqbal Academy sites. Let's see what we can do. Rama's Arrow 22:23, 31 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

=Nichalp «Talk»=

Lahore, England, and Germany - Lahore at the same level as countries, all need to be at the same.
' Indian Muslim poet, -- why Muslim?
Sialkot, Punjab -- dab: Sialkot, now in Punjab in Pakistan.
born in 1895; a son Aftab,.. -- replace ; by and
Friedrich Hommel -- who was he?
Although it is not believed that ... grew to love her -- ref?
Iqbal Day -- unbold
Iqbal died in Lahore in 1938. -- choppy. How did he die?
Dr. Bhimrao Ramji Ambedkar -- B. R. Ambedkar is the commonly used name.

=Nichalp «Talk»= 15:30, 1 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I haven't read the article completely, but just skimmed through it. IMO, it's comprehensive (well, how do I know? ;) But, the tone needs to be improved and a copyedit is required. For exmple, phrases like and though he did not live to see the creation of Pakistan, have an apologetic tone. See if more subsections can be added to sections with just two of them. -- Sundar ^{\talk \contribs} 12:02, 3 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]