Wikipedia:Peer review/National Anthem of Russia/archive2
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
When it was at FAC last time, people just refused to look at it past the grammar issues. I had several copyedits during the FAC, but I am not sure if people saw it or not. I also made some improvements to the references, checked all dead links and just want to see what other things could be done before going back to FAC. Thanks, User:Zscout370 (Return Fire) 20:54, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
Comments from Niagara
Note: the I've removed formatting (such as links and refs) from the prose out of convenience.
Intro
- "The lyrics were revised for the anthem of the Russian Federation by Sergey Mikhalkov, who also wrote lyrics for versions of the Soviet anthem in 1943 and 1977."
- The lyrics from the Soviet anthem were revised Sergey Mikhalkov, who had orginally wrote the Soviet lyrics in 1943 and 1977."
- "In 1990, Russia needed a new anthem to distance itself from the Soviet past. Although "God Save The Tsar!" was used before the overthrow of the Tsar in 1917, President of the Russian SFSR, Boris Yeltsin, decided to select the song "Patrioticheskaya pesnya" by Mikhail Glinka. Composed without words and discovered after Glinka's death, the anthem, without lyrics, was decreed official in 1993. Due to the lack of lyrics, the anthem was not popular."
- "Russia adopted the new anthem in 1990 to distance itself from its Soviet past. Although "God Save the Tsar!" was used before the Tsar was overthrown in 1917, President of the Russian SFSR Boris Yeltsin selected the song "Patrioticheskaya pesnya" by Mikhail Glinka. Composed without words and discovered after Glinka's death, the anthem was decreed official in 1993. The anthem was unpopular, due to its lack of lyrics."
- "Because of this, President Vladimir Putin decided that Alexandrov's music was to be restored, and that new lyrics should be written for it."
- "Consequently, President Vladimir Puting decided to restore Alexandrov's music and that new lyrics should written for it."
Historic anthems
- Translations would be useful for "Grom pobedy, razdavaysya!" and "Kol slaven"
- "The tune is in several English-language hymnals with words beginning "God the Omnipotent! King who ordainest/Thunder thy clarion, lightning thy throne!" (or variants)."
- Why is this relevant to the revolution and the overthrow of the Tsar?
- "The Internationale was used as the anthem of Soviet Russia from 1918, and adopted by the newly-created Union of Soviet Socialist Republics in 1922, to be used until 1944."
- "The Internationale was used as the anthem of Soviet Russia starting in 1918, adopted by the newly-created Union of Soviet Socialist Republics in 1922 and was used until 1944."
- In response, Alexandrov blamed Viktor Knushevitsky for the problems with the orchestration; Knushevitsky was responsible for orchestrating the entries for the final contest rounds in 1943."
- "In response, Alexandrov blamed the problems on the person who was responsible for orchestrating the entries for the final contest rounds, Viktor Knushevitsky."
- Also, why is this important / relevant?
Patrioticheskaya pesnya
- "With the fall of the Soviet Union approaching, a new national anthem was needed..."
- "With the impending collapse of the Soviet Union, a new national anthem was needed..."
- "Constitutionally, the state symbols of Russia are an anthem, flag and coat of arms. According to Article 70 of the Constitution, each of the symbols required further definition by future legislation."
- "According to the Constitution, the state symbols of Russia—an anthem, a flag, and a coat of arms—would require further definition by future legislation."
Call for lyrics
- "The song was also used during the Soviet era; it was called "Zdravstvuj, slavnaya stolitsa" (Hail, the Glorious Capital"), which was created in 1947 to honor the 800th anniversary of the founding of Moscow."
- Out of chronological order and, somewhat, irrelevant.
- "However, it was the lack of lyrics that caused doom for "Patrioticheskaya Pesnya"."
- "However, the lack of lyrics doomed "Patrioticheskaya Pesnya"."
- "One of the reasons that was partly to blame for the lack of lyrics, was that Glinka's composition was mostly used for praise to the Tsar and to the Russian Orthodox Church."
- Would work better in the preceeding section about the song.
- "It was one of the few national anthems during this period that lacked official lyrics. Between 1990 and 2000, the only other wordless..."
- "It was one of the few national anthems between 1990 and 2000 that lacked official lyrics, with the only other wordless..."
Modern adoption
- "...for Russia as a new flag and coat of arms and that the selection..."
- "...for Russia—as was a new flag and coat of arms—and that the selection..."
- "The Duma voted 381-51-1 on 8 December 2000 to adopt Alexandrov's music as the national anthem. Following the vote, the committee formed to explore lyrics for the national anthem was tasked..."
- "The Duma voted 381–51–1 in favor of adopting Alexandrov's music as the national anthem on 8 December 2000. Following the vote, a committee was formed and was tasked..."
Regulations
- "...has a tempo of ♩= 76." → Is their a better way writing this, without using symbols?
Very interesting and comprehensive. I love the use of a video in the infobox, very unique. I looked, heavily, at the prose as that seems to have been primary reason of not being promoted. In some places, I found that the prose was rough and have attempted to polish it up. Hopefully there won't be as much trouble the next time it goes to FAC. Also, consider reviewing an article from the backlog as that is how I found yours. Niagara Don't give up the ship 17:39, 6 May 2010 (UTC)