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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to get some input before possibly taking it further up the assessment chain. I'd like comments on general content, and also would appreciate any help with finer points of style, or if there is anything that would raise any red flags @ FAC.
Thanks, Canada Hky (talk) 15:15, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
Comments by H1nkles
You have a solid article here. I'll make some suggestions to help improve it. There is a big jump between GA and FA, I'll see what I can suggest to help bridge that gap.
Lead
- The lead should summarize every point in the article. The lead does not discuss his personal life and this should be added.
Playing career
- The fact that he was drafted by both the Sudbury Wolves and the Blue Jackets is a little confusing. Who had first rights to him? Was he free to choose between the two?
- Make sure you spell out abbreviations like CHL first.
- Watch jargon terms like this, "Filatov was a healthy scratch for 6 of them...." A healthy scratch is a bit confusing, perhaps say he didn't play in 6 games even though he was healthy. For a sports fan they'll understand what healthy scratch is, but for the non-fan they won't get the lingo.
- "This arrangement was the result of direct dealings between the Blue Jackets and CSKA Moscow, where Filatov is paid by the Russian club, and the Blue Jackets retain his rights."
- Tense agreement, is it past tense or present tense?
- The wording of this sentence is awkward:
- "After this tournament, he was selected as one of Russia's three best players as chosen by the coaches."
- I would reword thus: "After this tournament, the coaches named him one of the Russia's three best players." This sentence is has exactly the same issue: "Filatov scored two goals in the bronze medal game,[19] and was named Russia's best player of the game, as awarded by the IIHF."
- "Filatov made his debut with Russia's Under-20 junior squad at the 2008 World Junior Championships, which were held in the Czech Republic."
- Is the Championships singular or plural? It's an event so I would think it is singular. If so then "were" should be "was".
- "The Russian team captured the bronze medal at this tournament, defeating the United States 4–2 in the final."
- I'm a little confused, how could Russia win the bronze when they beat the US in the final? Wouldn't that mean they won gold? Perhaps I'm missing something.
- There doesn't seem to be much information about his playing time in the KHL. Given the amount of weight the article puts on his international career and his time in the NHL, I would think there would be more about his results in the KHL. There is a sentence about being named Rookie of the week, but other than that there's no results of the 2009-2010 season.
- What were the terms of his contract with the Blue Jackets? How much was he paid and for how long? Is this information available?
Personal life
- "Filatov spoke fluent English prior to being drafted, due in large part to his mother, a teacher who gave him lessons at home."
- He still speaks fluent English right? I'd reword the sentence a bit, perhaps like this, "Filatov speaks fluent English due in large part to his mother, who is an English teacher and gave him lessons at home."
References
- The key is consistency here.
- No publisher for ref 15
- The Columbus Dispatch is not italicized in ref 7, 13 and 16.
- Is esportz a reputable source? Is there a more credible source that could be used?
Overall
- I think the article is in good shape, I raised some questions above that should help fill in some content gaps. There are also some minor writing issues that need to be addressed. The references will need a little bit of attention.
- Overall I think it's well on its way. This concludes my review if you found it helpful consider reviewing another article here or at WP:GAC to help reduce the backlog. If you have any questions or concerns please contact me on my talk page. Thanks and happy editing! H1nkles (talk) citius altius fortius 17:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you for the input, I will get started with some of your suggestions. I appreciate the help a fresh set of eyes can offer. Canada Hky (talk) 18:49, 6 June 2010 (UTC)