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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i have been working on improving its quality, sourcing, formatting, prose etc and would like some ideas and opinions of how to improve the article further!
Thanks, :) Mister sparky (talk) 18:35, 28 November 2009 (UTC)
Comments by Gongshow:
This is a very well-done discography, and there are no issues with dabs or dead links. I hope the following suggestions are helpful.
- Lead:
- "a number of other appearances" --> I realize "other appearances" refers to a subsequent section heading, but in this sentence the wording seems just a little too vague for my liking. Perhaps consider changing to something like, "a number of collaborations with other artists" or "a number of guest appearances on other artists' songs"?
- There's an extra "." at the end of the first paragraph.
- "...United Kingdom, Australia, and Canada, the song also peaked..." --> The comma after Canada must be changed. I'd go with a semi-colon there.
- ""Beep" a collaboration with will.i.am..." --> There should be a comma after "Beep".
- "has been certified platinum by ARIA and gold by the BPI.[4][1][2][8][7]" --> Instead of lumping all the citations at the end of the sentence, I would put a citation after each fact for clarity.
- At the end of the third paragraph, there should be a comma after "Bottle Pop" and after "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)".
- Singles:
- Some of the citations don't match up. For example, in the Canada column, the citation does not provide Canadian peak chart positions for any PCD songs except "Hush Hush". In the US column, the citation does not show the US peak chart positions for "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)" (looks like it's found here) or "Whatcha Think About That" (may also be found on a "Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles" chart at #8). Also, are there sources that show the group's German peak chart positions?
- Other appearances:
- For "Bad Girl", since Confessions of a Shopaholic (film) has a soundtrack section, you might consider adding a wikilink for the album.
- References
- Citation 3 needs a retrieval date.
- Citation 15 needs a publisher.
Again, these are mostly minor nitpicks. This is a nicely-written and well-referenced article overall. Kudos on the good work! Gongshow Talk 21:53, 1 December 2009 (UTC)
- heya, thank you so much for your review! :)
- have actioned your suggestions for the lead, makes much better sense now.
- have changed the candian singles ref to make it clearer and added the us jai ho one. also added the german, forgot about that. do u happen to know where the "bubbling under" chart is archived?
- added the wikilink
- the retrieved date and publisher were both there, just spelt wrong, so they didnt show up. fixed now!
Mister sparky (talk) 23:51, 1 December 2009 (UTC)
- You're welcome! As far as an online archive for the "Bubbling Under" chart, I don't have a direct link myself unfortunately, so here are some ideas. First, it's possible that the date for the #108 peak was 11 Oct 2008, as that corresponds to this link which shows the song at #70 on the Pop 100. Unfortunately, there is no "Bubbling Under" chart listed in this issue. Billboard.biz is a paysite, so I cannot confirm that the song will be found there, either. Another possibility is a recently released book, Top Pop Singles 1955-2008, which claims to have every "Bubbling Under" song ever, which would be a great resource for all those songs that peaked just outside the top 100 in the US. There's also a Record Charts Wikiproject which may be of more assistance. Good luck! Gongshow Talk 00:56, 2 December 2009 (UTC)