Wikipedia:Peer review/Reign in Blood/archive2

This is on a CD and the second peer review. Is currently a GA nominee and would like any more comments to further improve it. M3tal H3ad 03:16, 28 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

My 2 cents:

  • please link "third studio" to a definition of some sort. Not being a die-hard audiophile, I was left confused regarding its meaning for the remainder of the article.
  • Please cite sources for the delay.
  • Please verify and cite sources for the nazism rumour, that's a very precarious thing to attack in the lead.
  • Every time you use the album's title, punctuation dictates that you italicize it.
  • Please cite/verify that it is really the first gold album for the band.
  • Expand lead per WP:LEAD.
  • A light copyedit is necessary, but it looks decent. Good job so far.

If my corrections are followed and no users bring up problems I read over, expect my vote for its FA. Just make sure you drop a line. Evan(Salad dressing is the milk of the infidel!) 23:35, 28 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Michaelas10

edit

I suppose getting it FA quality would be quite difficult considering the very few existing sources and documentation regarding the album. It could use some copyediting; here are my suggestions:

  • ...thrash-metal - No hyphen here.
  • ...released October 7, 1986 - "In" would fit better here.
  • ...opening track, "Angel Of Death" detailed - Add a comma.
  • ...giving the band a sonic - A chronic?
  • ...guitarist Jeff Hanneman states - Lets stick with the past tense.
  • ...but became the band's to enter - Doesn't make sense.
  • ...number 94, and number 47 in the UK. - Split this to a separate sentence. Also refer to the UK charts rather than UK itself.
  • ...and ranked in Q magazine's - Reword to Q magazine ranked it among the..."
  • ...influencing former Sepultura drummer Igor Cavalera stating - Ouch. Reword.
  • ...Malevolent Creation, Chimaira and Erik Hinds - Serial comma.
  • ...entire album on solo H'arpeggione. - Grammar.
  • ...set list, played - Being played.
  • ...the band played the record - What record? The album?
  • ...The Progressive, The Village Voice and the New York Times - Serial comma again.
  • ...accusations of Nazi sympathizing" - Remove the unnecessary quotation mark.
  • ...about Mengele, while Slayer were on tour - No need in a comma here.
  • ...second in command in the Schutzstaffel organization. - Reword to ...second in the Schutzstaffel organization's command.
  • ...early CD pressings, that set - Switch that to which.

Further issues:

  • ...under the same name - That's basically not correct, although the name was based on the album's name.
  • The lead indeed could use an expansion in order to meet WP:LEAD.
  • ...did not appear on the label's release schedule - Confusing. Which label's release schedule? Do you mean the original release schedule?
  • ...featuring the band covered in a "wall of blood", while performing "Raining Blood" - Also confusing. Some, including myself, may think "wall of blood" is actually a track.
  • Try to add additional professional reviews.
  • Simply too many quotation marks on words and labels. Try to explain some of these in encyclopedic terms. For instance, instead of ...to ditch the "Satan" theme you could put ...to ditch the Satanic theme. Michaelas10 (Talk) 16:56, 10 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Made all the changes, i know what you mean regarding FA, i guess I'll stick with GA, thanks for comments. M3tal H3ad 01:28, 11 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

LuciferMorgan

edit
  • 2001 Kerrang interview with Kerry King; "The truth is, if you released 'Reign In Blood' today, noone would give a shit. It was timing, it was a change in sound. In thrash metal at that time, noone had ever heard good production on a record like that. It was just a bunch of things that came together at once." LuciferMorgan 22:43, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cannibal Corpse interview where their drummer talks about Lombardo and Reign in Blood; "Primarily and personally as for a band that I idolized it was SLAYER and Dave Lombardo that did it for me. The very first influence that made me want to play music was KISS but then growing up… When SLAYER came out. Especially "Reign in Blood" to me, it was just so amazing and Lombardo is just so great. He made me want to do what I want to do. I wanted to play fast. That is what moved me the most in my heart. I would have to say that that is definitely the biggest influence for me. If there was no SLAYER what would modern death metal music be like?" LuciferMorgan 23:50, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Krisiun interview where their drummer says as concerns Lombardo, Reign in Blood, etc.; "Dave Lombardo was my main influence, especially in the beginning. I remember when I was listening to Metallica, I was kind of inspired by the drummer back in the 'Master of Puppets' and 'Ride the Lightning' days. Then I heard Slayer and I thought the drummer was unbelievable. It was so unbelievable when I heard 'Hell Awaits' and 'Reign in Blood' for the first time. It was so fast, so brutal. The fills, and a lot of things. I remember hearing the song "Silent Scream" from 'South of Heaven' for the first time. It just blew me away. It was like fast double-bass, fast kicks during the whole song. That was very inspiring for me."
  • Live review (free registration required) of Slayer from NY Times; "In 1986, the band recorded Reign in Blood, an album that's still the primary sacrament of death-metal; the short, powerful record mixed the rhythms of hardcore punk with a single-minded focus on ritual violence." Info; the article name is "POP REVIEW; It's a Major Metal Band, and Even the Furniture Isn't Safe", written by Ben Ratliff, published on June 22nd 1998 in New York Times, and is a live review of a Slayer performance at Irving Plaza on the Wednesday prior to the article's publication. LuciferMorgan 04:55, 24 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

"Reign In Blood was really the first album that solidified Slayer's unique sound, obviously a major part of this is largely due to producer Rick Rubin?

Absolutely, he took out all the reverb and everything and made it more where it hit you right between the eyes. Once we realized that we didn't need reverb, and our sound was a lot more threatening without it, we just kept it and it was done." LuciferMorgan 01:58, 26 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Seegoon

edit

I see there's already been quite a lot suggested here and I haven't read it all, so apologies if I repeat anything. That said, something being repeated just indicates to you that it's very important.

  • I'm just looking at the Professional Reviews section in the infobox. It's not a major thing, but I'm sure some much bigger magazines will have published reviews. Rolling Stone, Q, Kerrang! - try to get some printed sources. It'd be tough, but add a shedload of veracity to the article, and also allow you some very eloquent quotes to pull.
RS never reviewed the album - all older Slayer reviews are on RS's official website. Q usually deals with alternative music so doubtful they did - Kerrang should've though. LuciferMorgan 03:30, 24 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The band stated numerous times they do not condone Nazism, and are merely interested in the subject." - I'd add a "however" in here to improve logical flow from the previous statement. Maybe: "The band has, however, stated on numerous occasions that they do not condone Nazism, and are merely interested in the subject."
  • "apprehensive about leaving Metal Blade Records as they were contracted" - maybe change to "to whom they were contracted", or "who they held a contract with"?
  • "Lombardo called Columbia Records - Def Jams distributor and Rubin agreed to come to see the band play - with photographer Glen E. Friedman." - the structure here is a little confusing.
  • "Chronic makeover" - maybe "drastic" or "massive"? Chronic sounds a little pejorative.
  • "King states that hour long records seem to be the trend; “You could lose this part; you could cut this song completely,” and make a much more intense record, which is what we’re all about." - I'm not entirely sure where the quote ends here.
  • "“So what?”[3]" - you need a space after this reference.
  • In reception, you need to ensure that you italicise the album title every time you use it, even if it is a direct quote. Also - you say "mainly" positive reviews. To me, they sound overwhelmingly and permanently positive. If you're going to say they're "mainly" positive, try to dig out a not-so-positive one. Your best bet is Metacritic.
  • "Former Sepultura drummer Igor Cavalera, was influenced by the album, stating "the 80s, when shit was pure,"[13]" - I think you need to add some context to this, as the quote doesn't directly express the album's influence on him.
  • Italicise Porsche.
  • "live set list played at every show, these two tracks are also Hanneman's favorite" - a comma doesn't work here. Change it to a semicolon.
  • "On finishing the artwork a member was not happy with the final product, until one member showed their mother, who said it was disgusting." - cite, specify.
  • "on her album Strange Little Girls, King states the cover was odd;" - I'd change this comma into a full stop.

I think that's all I can spot. Overall, great article, and good luck with wherever you're taking it. Seegoon 15:49, 22 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]