Wikipedia:Peer review/Ron Paul/archive1

Ron Paul

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel that it is a very well written article, and thoroughly examines its subject in a clear, concise format. In my opinion, very worthy of being a featured article.

Thanks, CoolKid1993 (talk) 08:49, 14 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Why does his infobox make it seem like he is an incumbent in two districts?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 00:02, 15 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I agree. Infobox needs updating to show which terms he has served in which district. I couldn't dig up this information in 5 minutes, or I would have done it myself.--SV Resolution(Talk) 18:15, 19 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

The prose is needs a once-over; just watch out for redundancies and vagueness:
- "He is an outspoken proponent for ballot access and ~~numerous~~ election law reforms which would allow more voter control."
- "There are eighteen grandchildren." Maybe "They have 18 grandchildren" or something like that,
- "In 1956, Paul proposed marriage to Wells; the couple were wed on February 1, 1957..." "were"-->was
- "Paul was the third of five sons born during seven years in the Great Depression," Unclear. What is "seven years" referring to?
Em dashes should be unspaced.
"Paul authors many more bills than the average representative" A source for this is needed.
Date linking is deprecated by the MOS.
There must be more info about Paul's family and marriage. Look for print sources.
"In 'The Revolution: A Manifesto', Paul states his views on earmarks this way:" This should not be bolded.
"He moved to Surfside Beach, Texas, on July 31, 1968, and eventually delivered more than 4,000 babies." This sentence is a rather abrupt transition. Make a note that Paul started a practice in the town.
Per Wikipedia:Captions, only captions that are full sentences should have a period. Dabomb87 (talk) 14:45, 20 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]