Wikipedia:Peer review/Terry Bradshaw/archive1

Terry Bradshaw

I have been working on this article lately and I know it's not, or even close to featured article status yet but I would really like to know what I need to work at before moving it up to the next level. Thanks --Jaranda ^{wat's sup} 05:39, 26 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Inline citiations would be nice. It would also be good to turn the stats into a table. Generally, though, expansion is the key -- the article is a bit short. Getting ahold of some print resources (e.g., Bradshaw has written at least two partly auto-biographical books) would help you a lot in providing some more detail. If you can't access any of these, let me know and I'll see what I can find myself at the library. Christopher Parham (talk) 06:33, 27 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]
I'm done with turning the stats into a table, and I'm going to check tommorrow if I could find any of those autobiography books in my local library or in Barnes and Noble. After that I will do the inline citiations. Thanks! --Jaranda ^{wat's sup} 19:26, 27 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

This is a good start. I think the first step to making this a featured article would be a good copy edit. There are some awkward sentences (Bradshaw is best known for his winning skills.) and some run-ons (Bradshaw attended Woodlawn High School in Shreveport, Louisiana and was a student at Louisiana Tech where in 1969 he was considered by most pro scouts to be the most outstanding college football player.). I would also add info about his college career and some more year-by-year detail about his pro career. -- Mwalcoff 02:20, 28 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Some ideas: "Bradshaw is best known for his ability to win" in the lead is POV. According to who? Better to just describe his biggest wins and then quote someone saying he was the greatest quarterback of all time or something. The sentence containing "considered by most pro scouts" in the college section definitely needs a reference. In NFL career, where you're talking about "his fourth-quarter touchdown pass to Lynn Swann", why is that important, and how does it coincide with a 24-7 score? They won by three scores, so how is one of them a "winning score"? I also agree with the comments about needing inline citations and a copyedit. --Spangineer^es (háblame) 01:55, 8 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]