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Wikipedia:Peer review/Vivien Lyra Blair/archive1

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Vivien Lyra Blair

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'm hoping to get this to FA-status.

Thanks, Pamzeis (talk) 02:57, 26 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 14:24, 27 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The infobox states she was born in 2011/2012, the Early Life section in 2012 or 2013, and the lead gives an exact date of June 4, 2012. Which is it? Darylgolden(talk) Ping when replying 09:07, 5 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Pamzeis: to ensure they saw the above comment. I would also suggest that they post notices for this PR in various Wikiprojects or to editors who edit this article's subject matter, to get more comments. Z1720 (talk) 00:07, 12 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hiya just a few quick comments from me aimed at being helpful as regards a FA nomination, based on my limited experiences of FAC:
    • This article is very small and likely to be challenged in terms of comprehensiveness, a higher requirement than broadness for a GA
      • I know it's small, but I still think it is comprehensive. This is all I can find that is available on Blair at the moment (though I might look for a few more sources when I have time). I believe it covers all major aspects of what is known about Blair's life at the moment... I know Blair's just starting out her career, but personally, I don't see that as that big of an issue as the article could always be demoted if her article is updated insufficiently or becomes unstable...
    • I don't think FA reviewers will be impressed by The Rensselaer Polytechnic
      •   Removed
    • I couldn't find an editorial policy for https://comicbook.com/ so that will probably be challenged
    • Variety described her line deliveries as "aplomb" - this doesn't read well to me, I think you do something *with aplomb*, eg she delivered her lines with aplomb
      • Reworded
    • she portrayed Leia Organa in the Disney+ series - Disney+ mentioned in lead not in article
      •   Added to the article
    • for which she received critical praise - says the lead, but the reviews actually seem mixed
    • overall i'm not sure if this can be a FA, it just seems too insubstantial, if you take away the review there's very little. but that's just my opinion of course! all the best, Mujinga (talk) 23:50, 13 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
      @Mujinga: Responded to your comments :) Pamzeis (talk) 14:36, 18 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Timestamping to avoid closure. Pamzeis (talk) 14:00, 6 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

And again... Pamzeis (talk) 03:35, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Z1720

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@Pamzeis: I will be honest: this will be a hard article to get through FAC because of the length. Please ensure that you have found every possible source from WP:LIBRARY, Google News, Google Scholar, and any databases you might have access to through your local library system. Here are some additional comments below:

  • I think the lede should be expanded somewhat, as it is quite short.
  • Are there any images of the subject that can be added to the article?
    • Not that I've found...
  • There's a lot of info about Bird Box in the article that does not directly relate to Blair. For example, that it was the most watched film of 2021, or the plot of the film. I would suggest cutting these sections out and speaking more about Blair's acting/role in the film.
  • Similar with this statement: "The character was previously portrayed by Carrie Fisher in the franchise's original film trilogy." I am not sure if it is necessary for this article and I think it can be removed.
    •   Removed
  • The reviews about Blair's performance fall into the "X said Y" trap, so it might be a good idea to read WP:RECEPTION and get some ideas on how to reformat this.

Those are my comments. Z1720 (talk) 02:11, 28 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Commments from Eurohunter

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@Pamzeis: Just checked the article and I did minor fixes. Would you review song "Fest i hela huset" in return? List of issues of found:

  1. Links to redirects. 22:35, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
  2. "video-game appearance" or "video game appearance"? Eurohunter (talk) 22:35, 1 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    • Honestly... I have no idea   it was changed by the copy editor so I thought I'd just leave it at that... I really don't know... If you do, please tell me lol
    @Pamzeis: I support the second version but I'm not native speaker but you are so? Eurohunter (talk) 13:18, 2 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  3. "It was released on November 4, 2022, to mixed reviews.[22]"? Eurohunter (talk) 22:35, 1 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    • ...what's wrong?
    @Pamzeis: I'm not native speaker so "to mixed reviews" looks weird for me. I may be wrong. Eurohunter (talk) 13:18, 2 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Eurohunter: Responded to your comments   Pamzeis (talk) 06:13, 2 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

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