Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 February 18
The BMB is the largest Division III marching band in the country.
Aholazj (talk) 06:05, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
- The line " Through its energetic style, the BMB entertains its viewers with powerful music while incorporating singing and dancing" could be seen as "puffery". See WP:PEACOCK and consider removing it. Also, all articles need to establish "notability". I didn't see references to independent reliable sources, so I think you haven't addressed this issue yet. See WP:GNG for a summary of this issue. I'm a bit unsure about your use of the band's own web site as a reference in the article, except that it is to fairly innocuous hard facts. But if it is referenced in the body of the article, it shouldn't be an External link. You definitely need some kind of reference for your claim that this band is the "largest" or any such superlative. Otherwise the article is nicely laid out and "wikified". Tkotc (talk) 07:49, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
I have created a page for this art gallery which has been linked to from the pages of Chinese artists, but does not yet have its own. Is the writing style appropriate, and should other information, such as a list of current or past exhibitions, be included?
Would like a review on if the article is valid. It is a highly common yoga meme, and this is my first in a series to increase the scope of the asanas page.
Mack_McCarter still unreviewed
editHad finished an article on a new social justice leader and submitted for review back in September 2010 - please to be reviewing so I can see about updating this and the organization he runs! Thanks in advance.
This is my first article - feedback appreciated. Thanks.
Rizlazu (talk) 17:19, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
- Can you provide a link to the article? Tkotc (talk) 21:57, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
Reviewed
I am wanting to get general feedback about content and format for this article and directions on how to publish. Thanks!
Please review the article I would like to submit on a professional bodybuilder from India, Mr. Suhas Khamkar. Suhas is on the pinnacle of his career and is aiming to compete for Mr. Universe championships. Along with the other honorable mentions of bodybuilders on Wiki, Suhas deserves his spot.
http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/l/lawrence-of-arabia-script-transcript.html
editI am hoping that a larger community will edit this page before Wiki editors start making too many suggestions.
Dbbearden (talk) 19:47, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
- You should proofread the article and do things like finish parentheticals or remove marks you aren't going to use (see "principals"); also remove the "example.com" link. I notice the article has no references showing any note taken of the school by third party independent sources. Are there any? Tkotc (talk) 22:01, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
Could someone please review this article and possibly remove the "new unreviewed article" template. Also, in the categories the subject's name is listed under A instead of D for Dyson. Could someone assist me in correcting it. Thank you
Aonani 20:28, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
Vegan "Honey, Made From Apples
editI would like this to be reviewed to ensure compliance.
Emmaguti (talk) 22:00, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
- See WP:N and possibly WP:COMPANY. You need some links to reliable secondary sources to show that your subect is "notable". You should also proofread your article draft. The "External links" header and "example.com" link look like they could go. The article title would need reworking. This seems to be an article intended to be about a company named "Bee Free Honee". Would that be a better article title? Tkotc (talk) 22:13, 18 February 2011 (UTC)
I would REALLY like this to be published.... I have responded to two rounds of feedback and need someone to OK this.Thank you to all volunteer editors.
Can someone please look this over? This is my first page and I'd like to be sure I did it properly.
teresa earnhardt date of birth october 29, 1958
editteresa earnhardt date of birth october 29, 1958