Wikipedia:Widget

This is an essay.

It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors. This page is not an encyclopedia article, nor is it one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints.

This page in a nutshell: WIDGET is so heinous it must never be used on Wikipedia. That's WIDGET: W — I — D — G — E — T

Although widget means "slightly odd person who writes well sourced information for free" in East Elbonia, and in South Elbonia it means the mildly insulting "dog with a really bad case of mange," in West Elbonia it translates roughly as "pus from a zit on that part of your anatomy," and is considered highly offensive (widget, that is, not "anatomy," that's just a word).

Usage

Therefore, one must never use the word "widget." Do not use widget as a noun, do not use widget as a verb, do not use widget as an adjective, and certainly don't use widget as an adverb. Of course, you should never use "widget" as an exclamatory "Wiiiidget!" and, as far as the common gerund form of widget, don't even go there.

Do not call someone a widget, regardless of how much they act like a widget. Imagine if someone called you a widget, how would you like it? Or your Mum a widget, or your Pop a widget, or your sister a widget — no, not the one that acts like a widget, your little sister who is not a widget. Or any of your widget brothers, you don't want them called widget, do ya? Calling your dog a widget is just cruel, and if someone called your cat a widget — I'm sure your cat wouldn't care, but you would.

Prevention

In order to minimize the use of widget, which must never be used, include it in edit notices ("don't say widget"), page headers — warn against widget usage, and when welcoming new users. "Welcome to Wikipedia; we don't say widget here, so please don't say widget." (This will give the West Elbonians a warm glow knowing they'll be respected by never having to read the word widget.) Also, it's important to encourage The Signpost to run as many op-eds as possible which use the word widget to decry how often widget is used.

What to do if you see the word widget

If you see another editor using widget, which must never be used, under no circumstances should you revert the edit containing widget — the use of widget, the word which must never be used, must be preserved as evidence. Report the use of widget, including the full quote, including the word widget, in as many forums as possible. (This is called the widget exception to forum shopping). If you see another editor post a quote containing widget, the word which must never be used, be sure to say "I can't believe they said widget. Widget is offensive, they must be blocked for saying widget." or the equivalent. Note the more times you can work in the word widget, the more it indicates how outraged you are and how much you oppose using the offensive term widget.

Sanctions

If an editor ever utters the word "widget," they should be banned and blocked. No, they should be forced to endure a five-day WP:ANI thread, with as many references to their using "widget" as will possibly fit on the page, and then banned and blocked, and all their edits reverted. All their edits where they say widget should be reverted, and all their edits where they don't say widget should be reverted. Also block anyone using an IP where the word "widget" was transmitted as part of a TCP/IP packet. Also block anyone who ever posted on the talk page of the widget speaker, even if they didn't say widget, read widget, or think widget.

Exceptions

There are "widget exceptions" exceptions to using the highly offensive word widget.

Reporting someone else saying widget.
When writing an essay titled "Widget" about how important it is to never say widget.
When you do it, because you're special — it's not offensive when you say widget, only when others say widget.