Wikipedia:WikiProject Articles for creation/Help desk/Archives/2012 August 22

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August 22

Review of Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Stratech Systems Ltd.

Hello, I need some help and advise in revising my very first entry on wikipedia. I have read articles regarding on how to create an entry. I also look for other wikipedia entry that looks similar to the company I have added, for example Qinetiq (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qinetiq) and choose Qinetiq as a guideline but still not enough. Help Please :) --Damoolag (talk) 03:11, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Here's some quick and dirty advice from a quick look at the submission:

• Get rid of the client list. Any large organization will have an ever-changing client list that would be almost impossible to keep up to date. At most, a few notable clients backed up by solid references might be acceptable.
• The "See Also" seems completely unrelated. Remove it or replace it with something that is related.
• Every award and accreditation should be backed up with a reference.
• Listing the products and services as you have done is more advertisement style than encyclopedic. A short paragraph explaining what the company does or offers (such as is in the lead section) that is referenced would be a big improvement there.
• Intelligent is just a word. Styling it in the lead is not a good thing.
• Phrases such as "an impressive track record" are considered peacock words, and should be avoided.
• A minor style issue that would improve the article, but does not prevent it from being approved is the repeated linking of the same word. (The one I noticed was Singapore, particularly in the info box.)

Hopefully this helps. --Nouniquenames (talk) 06:45, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Hi Nouniquenames thanks for the advise, I will revise it immediately :)

--Damoolag (talk) 06:04, 28 August 2012 (UTC)

Hi Nouniquenames I modify the article, can you please review it and I would like to know how to resubmit it :) - Thanks --Damoolag (talk) 08:04, 28 August 2012 (UTC)

HI.....

Hi,

  I just want to know the reason behind my article decline, my article provide details about my village and it's people.

So please provide me reason. Thank you. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Vinesh patil (talk • contribs) 07:57, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Your article did not contain any references. We can't simply take your word that what you contributed is true. Someguy1221 (talk) 08:22, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Review of User:Hardy1956/sandbox

To the reviwer who presented the prompt reply to my inquiry, thank-you. speedy deletion. Huon (talk) 14:43, 21 August 2012 (UTC) It was mentioned that I didn't address the issues applied to my article. Where do I find them? Someone had mentioned in my sandbox about adjusting some "{}". I didn't see any editorial comments that I would be happy to address. I did use someone else's recent format for writing a "Big Bang Theory" episode article, but the research and work was basicly mine or searching the internet for the information. The article addresses a significant milestone in the series. Please help me improve it. Many thanks. hardy1956

I believe you've mixed up my reply to an earlier question (about a Greek fraternity draft which had serious problems) with the reply to yours. I don't think your draft has been reviewed yet; therefore there are no previous issues you could have addressed. However, at a glance the plot summary seems much too long, and it's written entirely from an in-universe perspective; please have a look at Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Writing about fiction#Plot summaries. Both the plot summary and the lead are unsourced. I expect sources for such numbers as the Nielsen rating exist; please add them to the draft. Huon (talk) 16:10, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Chandrika Balan

Dear Sir/Madam

I had sent the following query and your answer received which is placed below for your ready reference.

How do I incorporate the links you wanted ( you wrote citation needed) in the text. I also notice in other cases you make box on the righ side with photograph of the person with brief details that are in the text. How this can be done.

Thanks and regards

Dear Sir / Madam,

Thank you very much for accepting my entry of Chandrika Balan for the esteemed Wikipedia. I am sending herewith two links that mention her as translator as you needed citation for that. I am also sending a few scanned documents which contain scholarly studies on her stories and also a profile-interview of her done by The Hindu. I have noticed only now that you accept writings in Malayalam too. Kindly advise how I can cut and paste the scanned copies. I could not do it.

Is it possible to include her pen-name Chandramati in Malayalam script as you have done for many other writers from Malayalam? Regards

1.

http://books.google.co.in/books?id=QA1V7sICaIwC&pg=PA220&lpg=PA220&dq=Katha+award+for+translation+B.Chandrika&source=bl&ots=i_p897TLCc&sig=xPDZjiJBRFavrM6pgbVzV386iG0&hl=en&sa=X&ei=7m0yUKGoEIn3rQeWi4HICQ&sqi=2&ved=0CDkQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=Katha%20award%20for%20translation%20B.Chandrika&f=false

Who is Who of Indian Writers, Sahitya Akademi 1999. Page 220. Contains evidence for the Katha translation award.

2.

http://books.google.co.in/books?id=3-tjAAAAMAAJ&q=Chandrika+Balan&dq=Chandrika+Balan&source=bl&ots=f3Tnk34zUZ&sig=ycj8G5vLMJh1W2t02LQuX2etDJo&hl=en&sa=X&ei=o28yUO6BE8rHrQe-hIBw&ved=0CDIQ6AEwAA

Mentions Chandrika as translator. Her translation has come in the Penguin anthology of poems In Their Own Voice edited by Arlene Zide of the University of Chicago. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Panank (talk • contribs) 12:43, 21 August 2012 (UTC)

Those sources should be added to the article, not to this help desk. I'm not quite sure what you mean by seding scanned copies of sources. If the source is available only on paper, we should refer to that paper source. A scanned image hosted somewhere o the web might be convenient for our readers, but it's not a reliable source on its own without reference to where that scan came from. If the scan is an image, I don't think you can "cut and paste" from it, or maybe I misunderstand what you want to do. Of course it's possible to include her pen name in Malayalam; however, I cannot type that script (and I cannot read or write it either, so even if I could technically type it, I wouldn't know what to type). You'll have to do so yourself. Huon (talk) 14:43, 21 August 2012 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Panank (talk • contribs)

I have added the sources to the article; you can edit it to see how I did that. I had added the "citation needed" message not so much because of the "translator" claim but because of the "renowned" - that's a subjective opinion that would have to be backed up. I've changed it into "award-winning", which is supported by the source.

The box you refer to is an infobox; the most relevant for Chandrika Balan would probably be {{infobox writer}}. The template documentation explains the infobox parameters. I'll add one to the article; you can fill in any details I miss.

If an image with a free license exists, you can upload it to the Wikimedia Commons via their Upload Wizard and then add it to the infobox. However, an image without a free license will probably not be acceptable because it is assumed that for living persons a free equivalent is available or could become available - therefore fair use does not apply. Huon (talk) 16:10, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

AFC help

Please help with creation and approval/posting of company listings for the following: Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Tandoor Chef and Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Deep Foods.

Both company biographical listings have been submitted multiple times, along with revisions adhering to reviewer remarks to remove questionable links to wiki definitions.

Additionally the creator (TAN1979) did not receive notification that articles were deleted.

These company listings have not been created by a robot or spammer. These are legitimate privately held companies operating in the United States for over 30 years.

Please advise as to what additional documentation is needed and how publication of these articles can be expedited.

Thank you for your immediate attention to this request.

TAN1979 (talk) 17:37, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

• Well, first off the article reads as a promotional piece for Deep Foods. The other has been deleted, so I didn't see that one. Phrases such as "quality innovation leader" and "More than 30 years later, Deep Foods remains a family affair, now incorporating the second generation, all of whom spends a great deal of time in the kitchen, dreaming up new entrees for all to enjoy." sound like they're something that you would write for an advertisement. They're just not neutrally or encyclopedically written. A good example of what a neutral article about a company would be Tyson Foods. As good as your intentions might be, you also need to stick to basics about the company. Extolling its virtues for doing charity work should be limited, with examples being brief. No long feel-good stories about the kids they've helped or saved. Merely mentioning that they provide charity and help for villages is enough. Then on top of this, none of the sources actually show any notability for the company. They prove that the company exists, that the various things and places in the article exist, such as Cornell University, but they don't show how the company is notable. Notability is not inherited by people in the company having gone to notable institutions for college. An example of what would be a reliable source would be an article written by a reliable newspaper about the company, with the article being in-depth about the company. Press releases are not considered to be anything that can show notability, as those are released by the company. There's no neutrality there because the companies can say whatever they like about themselves and the websites and papers just reprint it word for word. I recommend checking out WP:RS and WP:CORP for notability guidelines as well as WP:NPOV for what I mean by neutral points of view.Tokyogirl79 (talk) 17:47, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

The first was deleted after a one week lasting discussion at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Tandoor Chef. mabdul 18:29, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

It's no surprise those articles read like advertisements: By his own admission, TAN1979 works for Deep Foods' and Tandoor Chef's advertisement agency. Contrary to his claim, he was notified of the deletion discussion for Tandoor Chef. I have told him about the problems with his references twice before, though not as detailed as Tokyogirl79 did. Huon (talk) 19:09, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

I want to submit my article

I've created the English page about the Biographie of Andre Fontaine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia_talk:Articles_for_creation/Andr%C3%A9_Fontaine_%22Fontaine,_painter_of_the_stars%22 (I worked on the French one who is accepted : http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andr%C3%A9_Fontaine_(Qu%C3%A9bec)#Entre_l.27ombre_et_la_lumi.C3.A8re)

So about my work for the English page, I would like to submit it now. I think I put everything , or if the article need something more I would like to know.--Chikkuru (talk) 20:12, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

I've submitted the draft for you; you can do so yourself by adding {{subst:submit}} to the very top.

The draft needs much more work. Major parts are not sufficiently supported by sources (I've marked some of them, but I don't think I marked all). The tone is unduly laudatory: Phrases such as "Walt Disney makes him immortal" are hardly appropriate (besides, I expect that whatever immortality he enjoys comes from his own work, not from some Mickey Mouse comic, and I'd also like to see a reference for the claim that the comic was "published throughout the world" and not just in Canada). The draft is highly redundant: It mentions Walt Disney thrice, most of his journalistic work twice, and the Kennedy assassination possibly even four times (if it was the subject of his book "conspiracy"). While the lead, as a summary of the rest of the article, necessarily is somewhat redundant, this is far too much. Conversely, the article's content is an unsorted chaos: A single section mentions, in this order, his journalistic career in the 1950s and early 1960s, his ordination in 1964, his military career in World War 2 (some dates there would be helpful; I doubt he served before 1944), some unsourced and claims about his career with the US National Guard, some art criticism in the 1960s, and returns to the Kennedy assassination and his attempted coverage in 1966 - that last one sounds like a conspiracy theory to me. Some of the sources don't support all they're cited for (for example, the source for his journalistic work doesn't mention the Berlin Wall or the Pope visit), and several external links point to other sources than they should. Those link targets look rather dubious anyway: They are scans of cut-and-paste excerpts of newspapers, hosted at a blog that seems strongly related to Fontaine. Have you tried locating those articles in the Google News archive instead? For the American newspaper articles that might be possible, and Google News' archive is much more reliable. (Besides, those scans might be copyright violations.)

Those are content issues. The draft also needs some heavy copyediting. That's probably due to the translation from the French, and the grammar is somewhere between adventurous and atrocious. At times I had no idea what the sentences were supposed to mean, or even to which sentence a certain fragment was supposed to belong. Also, per the manual of style, dates are not linked; I believe I got rid of most of those wikilinks, but I may have missed some. There was also a claim that Fontaine worked as a "see"; the link target is a disambiguation page, and I don't think any of those meanings are appropriate. I suppose he was a "reporter" or "correspondent"? Huon (talk) 22:34, 22 August 2012 (UTC)