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Wikipedia:WikiProject Film/Peer review/Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw

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Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw

edit

As I promised on my list of things to do, I've been spending the last few days of 2006 working on this article about a kids' film that very few have ever had the chance to watch. Without the DVD release of the film, the page would have looked more or less like this, and it would have taken forever to get it all done.

Everything has all been set, but, redlinks aside, a few things, like grammar and verification check-up in some places, would need to be done. To me, it looks so good, I just can't decide whether to put it up for GAC or FAC. What do you film fans make of it? --Slgrandson (page - messages - contribs) 21:24, 30 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Reword this sentence: "Without protection of the Bone, humans would not understand what the Puppies are saying, and this power would be lost for good." Done.†
  • Red links in the lead need to be taken care of. Either make a stub, or unlink them. All done.‡
  • Check fair use rationales. The poster is missing the "This will not detract from sales, etc" reason. Done.‡
  • "It traces back to the Dark Ages" what does it refer to here? Clarified.†
  • Again many red links in the infobox. Already cleared.‡ Also could some of the producers be dropped from the box? Removed so that only the main ones show up.†
  • Trim the plot. It's a touch over a thousand words, which I think is really unnecessary for a children's film. Other plot issues:
    • "He rings a bell on their desk, asking them to hurry up. Another Pound Puppy, Reflex, hears it and begins smooching three of his friends at random, before McNasty stops him." Necessary? Removed.†
    • "The pup eavesdrops on McNasty's means: to transform his new "pets", and the rest of the Pound, into vicious guard dogs using his Mean Machine, so that he can protect the Bone of Scone." Confusing sentence. Reworded.†
    • "Whopper grabs one half, running off to prove his evidence." In what sense is prove being used here? Reworded.‡
    • Just who is Cooler? Clarified in ¶ #2 of the plot.‡
    • "Colette and Whopper plan to escape from their cage. After doing so, Whopper encounters a big creature stomping in their way, whom he believes is Big Paw. The two of them..." Whopper and the creature is the nearest antecedent, but I'm sure you mean Collete and Whopper. Reworded.‡
    • Okay, I just stopped reading the plot after the above sentence. None of your characters are introduced, so I'm lost in a sea of names. Just who are the Purries? It's never made clear. Clarified in lead section.†
  • If you introduce the characters properly, most of your cast section will be rendered redundant.
  • Cast style is inconsistent. Some voice actors are credited, some are not. Moved the voices to their own section.†
  • I really dislike the bolding, and I'm not alone. See here.
  • What other films were made that "featured established toy properties as their main characters"? A wikilink to the most popular one would be nice. Introduced three examples.†
  • The image placement seems random. What does Jeff and Tammy at the museum have to do with the VHS and DVD releases? Moved into the plot section.†
  • Why would you wikilink "As of 2006"? Delinked.†
  • Try to eliminate the see also section. (I notice that it links to other films like this, which answers one of my questions.) Removed.†
  • This is very nitpicky and I'm not sure if it will be an issue, but Wikipedia worries about linking to sites that are vague on copyright. I'm not sure how that effects the link to the trailer. I'd say don't worry about it, unless it comes up in the good article process.
  • Indicate whether the gross is American or Canadian dollars. Clarified.†
  • I'm not sure if the ratings box is necessary. If there's any remarkable exceptions to the G ratings, mention them but no need for a country by country listing of the same rating. Removed; information is already at IMDb anyway.†
  • I hope this did not come off too harsh. As a last note, I'd say go for Good Article status and then you might ask the reviewer if he thinks you should go for FA. Good luck! --Supernumerary 04:28, 31 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

†Concerns addressed with this edit --Slgrandson (page - messages - contribs) 01:24, 2 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
‡Concerns addressed after this edit --Slgrandson (page - messages - contribs) 01:28, 6 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

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