Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/18th Battalion (New Zealand)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Ian Rose (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 12:06, 12 February 2017 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

18th Battalion (New Zealand)

Nominator(s): Zawed (talk)

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because I believe it meets the appropriate criteria. The 18th Battalion was part of the 4th Infantry Brigade, 2nd New Zealand Division, raised for service shortly after the outbreak of the Second World War. It served in the campaigns in Greece, Crete and North Africa before being converted to armour after which it then fought in Italy. It has been through a GA review and I have made some small additions since then. Thanks in advance to all who take the time to provide feedback. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 30 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comment

What is the date for that Army crest design? Nikkimaria (talk) 17:47, 30 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Nikkimaria: After a bit of digging around, it appears the crest design dates only to 2000 so it would seem that the original uploader has not used the correct permissions. I will remove from this article. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 08:52, 1 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Support: Nice work. I reviewed this for GA about two years ago and am pleased to see it here at A-class. I did some copy editing and have a few minor comments, but nothing that affects my support: AustralianRupert (talk) 12:14, 1 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

the only duplicate links identified are in the list of battle honours, which seems reasonable to me (no action required)
a couple of the images lack alt text, which would be a good addition, but is not mandatory (suggestion only): [1]
in the lead, "The 18th Battalion was formed in New Zealand in September 1939 and after a period of training, it embarked for the Middle East and then onto Greece in 1941 as part of the 2nd New Zealand Division". Perhaps change to something like: "The 18th Battalion was formed in New Zealand in September 1939. After a period of training, it embarked for the Middle East as part of the 2nd New Zealand Division, and was later sent to Greece in 1941"?

Done. Zawed (talk) 07:45, 3 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

in the lead, "Brought back up to strength, the battalion participated in the breakout of the 2nd New Zealand Division from Minqar Qaim in June 1942, where it had been encircled by the German 21st Panzer Division." Perhaps change to something like this: "Brought back up to strength, in June 1942 the battalion participated in the breakout of the 2nd New Zealand Division from Minqar Qaim, where it had been encircled by the German 21st Panzer Division."

Done. Zawed (talk) 07:45, 3 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The first two sentences of the Background section start with the same word ("Following"), perhaps change one to vary your language?

Done. Zawed (talk) 07:45, 3 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"Its personnel were all volunteers were drawn from the Northern Military District..." Either drop the second "were", or add an "and" in front of the second "were"

Done. Zawed (talk) 07:45, 3 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"before it arrived at Tewfik, Egypt, where the battalion disembarked..." perhaps the date of their arrival could be added here?

Done. Zawed (talk) 07:45, 3 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

is there a link that could be provided for Galatas and Sfakia?

No obvious link unfortunately. Zawed (talk) 01:34, 10 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"night-time capture of Belhamed": --> "night-time" is probably redundant here given that night is already mentioned earlier

Done. Zawed (talk) 07:45, 3 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"establish defensive positions at Minqar Qaim": suggest working in a link of the main battle article here (First Battle of El Alamein?)

Done. Zawed (talk) 07:45, 3 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"The corps moved to Cassino": what date did this occur?

Have added to article. Zawed (talk) 01:34, 10 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Bounder

Nicely put together and very readable. A few very minor quibbles to consider:

Is "disestablished" the right word? Wouldn't "disbanded" work a little better? (In the lead and the body)

Have revised. Zawed (talk) 08:07, 17 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"and waiting transportation": waiting for transportation?

No, actually the transportation was waiting for them. I have opted to revise this to make it more clear. Zawed (talk) 08:07, 17 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

All minor pickings in an excellent article; I hope these are of help. All the best, The Bounder (talk) 09:48, 16 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@The Bounder: Thanks for taking the time to review the article (and your edits), it is greatly appreciated. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 08:07, 17 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

My pleasure. Happy to now support this emjoyable read. All the best, The Bounder (talk) 08:26, 17 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Support -
- You might consider adding alt text to the images.
  - Have done. Zawed (talk) 06:34, 12 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- Do some of the images need PD-US tags as well?
  - There were a couple that did need them added. I have done this. Zawed (talk) 06:34, 12 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- Otherwise I could not see any major issues after a read through. Anotherclown (talk) 23:25, 11 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  - @Anotherclown: thanks for the review, I have taken action regarding the items raised. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 06:34, 12 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.