Wikipedia

Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Hermann Graf

< Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history | Assessment
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Ian Rose (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 14:06, 2 April 2015 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Hermann Graf

edit
Nominator(s): MisterBee1966 (talk)

Hermann Graf (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Toolbox

Yet another German World War II fighter pilot I am nominating this article for A-Class. I believe to have covered all major aspects of his career and life. Please let me know what you think about the article. Thanks! MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:19, 23 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments (pending support) by Auntieruth

  • Very interesting article. It had some grammatical and wording issues, which I've tweaked. Feel free to revert if I've changed meaning. I've also smoothed out some duplication.
  • Okay, so how did he end up in American hands? Schuman says one thing, but one of the external links you provide as additional information says something else.
  • Sources you've cited look reliable and credible. Thought you might find this interesting as well. Endler and Pele in Der Spiegel. " Die Pelés flogen unter dem Namen "Dr. Graf und Frau" mit einer Lufthansa-Boeing-707 nach Frankfurt. "

Support Comments

  • Why is the bit on him helping Jews escape to Switzerland piped to German Resistance to Nazism? Unless I'm missing something, this happened before the Nazis' rise to power.
  • "On 30 April 1942 he became an "ace-in-a-day" after shooting down six enemy aircraft in the region followed by seven on 2 May and 8 May respectively." - this mentions 3 days but only 2 kill tallies - were the 7 kills split between 2 and 8 May?
  • "When he claimed his 150th victory, a Yakovlev Yak-1, on 4 September 1942, his own aircraft suffered over 100 hits during this encounter. He was the second pilot, after Gordon Gollob, to achieve this mark." - this makes it sound like Gollob's claim to fame was having more than 100 hits to his aircraft. It would make more sense to rework these sentences to something like "On 4 September 1942, he claimed his 150th victory, a Yakovlev Yak-1; he was the second pilot, after Gordon Gollob, to achieve this mark. Graf's aircraft suffered over 100 hits during the engagement with the Yak-1."
  • "...married the German actress Jola Jobst..." - she has already been introduced, just her last name will do at this point.

Excellent work as usual. Parsecboy (talk) 18:56, 6 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Comments

  • CommentsSupport
    • No dab links (no action req'd).
    • No issues with external links (no action req'd).
    • Images all have alt text (no action req'd).
    • No duplicate links (no action req'd).
    • Images check completed above (one point outstanding it seems).
    • Captions look fine (no action req'd).
    • The Citation Check Tool reveals no issues with ref consolidation (no action req'd).
    • "In the late spring, 1941 Graf claimed his first aerial victory on 4 August 1941 during Operation Barbarossa" - seems redundant to say "1941" twice in this phrase.
    • These two stubby sentences could be linked: "Inflation in the Weimar Republic in 1923 wiped out all the family savings. From a very early age, Hermann learned to work hard to make a living." Consider instead: "Inflation in the Weimar Republic in 1923 wiped out all the family savings and, as a result, from a very early age, Hermann learned to work hard to make a living." (suggestion only)
    • Incorrect tense here I think: "Here the trio of Füllgrabe, Graf and Grislawski is joined by..." should be "Here the trio of Füllgrabe, Graf and Grislawski was joined by..."
    • "In early June the unit transferred back to Romania..." incorrect link to Romania here (it should have been linked at first instance, if at all).
    • "On 3 February 1942 he accounted for his victim number 47..." → "On 3 February 1942 he accounted for his 47th victim..."
    • "Upon his return to his post...", consider wording more simply as "Upon return to his post..."
    • Long run-on sentence here: "The next day, Graf, officially remaining in command of JG 50, was appointed acting Geschwaderkommodore of JG 1 and transferred to Jever and Graf appointed Grislawski as acting-commander of JG 50." → consider instead something like: "The next day, Graf, officially remaining in command of JG 50, was appointed acting Geschwaderkommodore of JG 1 and transferred to Jever. Graf subsequently appointed Grislawski as acting-commander of JG 50."
    • "This relatively early release was by many perceived to be caused..." → " This relatively early release was perceived by many to be caused..."
    • Graf's release from captivity as a PW is mentioned in both the "prisoner of war" section and the "later life" section (including the date), which seems a little unnecessary. Suggest moving the detail re his release from the "later life section" to the "prisoner of war" section and deleting any duplication.
    • In the table of aerial victories there seems to be a typo for the date of victory # 48. Currently listed as being in 1943, but I assume from the other entries it should be 1942. Anotherclown (talk) 06:14, 18 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:WikiProject_Military_history/Assessment/Hermann_Graf&oldid=654636572"