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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Mahan-class destroyer

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 25 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Mahan-class destroyer

edit
Nominator(s): Pendright (talk)

The Mahan-class destroyers incorporated some notable improvements in design over their predecessors. Included was advanced propulsion machinery that changed the technology for future destroyers; the mounting of twelve torpedo tubes, instead of eight, and installing superimposed gun shelters for the first time. Each of the eighteen-member class served in the Pacific Theater of Operations during World War II; participating in a host of engagements against Japanese forces. Some of the class was at Pearl Harbor on 7 December 1941; a few were devastated by the attack and others escaped unharmed. In the South Pacific, members of the class took part in campaigns to retake the Santa Cruz Islands, New Guinea, Guadalcanal, the Philippine Islands, Okinawa, Iwo Jima, and others. Six of the eighteen ships were combat losses, two were expended in post war tests, and the remainder were eventually sold or scrapped. Together, the class earned 111 battle stars for their service in the war. This article passed GA review in December 2013. Thanks to those who might find the time to review the article. Pendright (talk) 22:45, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments - mostly nitpicky stuff, I'm very impressed with the quality of the article:

The displacement figure in the infobox should have a conversion (and specify which type of tons are used - we know it's long tons, but the average reader won't)

I've made a few changes, mostly to fix formatting and add links and so forth. Parsecboy (talk) 20:12, 23 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

  • Support: impressive article. Well done. I have a couple of minor nitpick comments/suggestions, that do not impact upon my support:AustralianRupert (talk) 22:58, 24 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • in the lead, "The Mahan-class destroyers of the United States Navy were 16 destroyers..." seems inconsistent with the infobox "Completed 18". I understand that there is some discrepancy/disagreement about Dunlap and Fanning, so I'd suggest probably slightly tweaking the lead. For instance, perhaps this might work: "The Mahan-class was a class of destroyers commissioned in to the United States Navy in 1936 and 1937. The class consisted of 18 ships, although two, Dunlap and Fanning, are sometimes considered part of a separate class..."
    • inconsistent presentation: "16" v "eighteen" (e.g. numerals over spelling) in the lead;
    • I found and fixed a few instances of where ship names weren't in italics, please check if I missed any;
    • I tweaked a few myself, but where possible, if you mention an action at a location, I think the convention is to include the link to the battle/campaign article rather than the location, for instance Battle of Balikpapan (1945) rather than just Balikpapan;
    • spelling inconsistency: "Finchhafen, "Finschhafen" and "Finchhaffen";
    • this seems a little awkward: "...was demolished by one or more mines". To my ear demolished doesn't quite seem right. Perhaps this might be better: "The ship entered the harbor by the western entrance where she struck at least one mine" (or something similar?)
    • "steaming independently, when an Australian troopship rammed her" - do we know the name of the troopship? If possible, please add it here;
    • "A court of inquiry found the captain, the navigator, and the officer of the deck at fault for the collision" - were these Perkins' crew, or the troopship's?
    • "File:Photograph of the wreckage of the USS Downes, hit by bombs during the attack on Pearl Harbor - NARA - 306547.jpg": if possible, this image should cropped to reduce the effect of the whitespace. If you are not sure how to do this, please let me know and I will have a crack;
    • wording: "Late in November, the ship was bound from Milne Bay to Buna, steaming independently, when an Australian troopship rammed her." For me, the word rammed makes it sound intentional, so I'd suggest rewording slightly. For instance, perhaps this might work: "Late in November, the ship was bound from Milne Bay to Buna, steaming independently, when she collided with an Australian troopship." Either that or "when an Australian troopship accidentally rammed her";
    • "when rammed by an Australian troopship" (as above, probably use "collided with", or similar). Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 22:58, 24 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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