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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/SPARS

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Matarisvan (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 20:20, 26 October 2024 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

SPARS

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Instructions for nominators and reviewers

Nominator(s): Pendright (talk)

SPARS (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)}

Toolbox

I am nominating this article for A-Class on behalf of Pendright. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 22:29, 17 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

SPARS is about the Women who served in the U.S. Coast Guard Women's Reserve during WW II. Created by the U.S Congress, it authorized the USCG to replace male officers and enlisted men with women at shore stations. Working with the top-secret LORAN project was its most unique assignment. LORAN was a land-based radio navigation system developed to monitor locations of ships at sea and aircraft in flight. Monitoring stations were able to calculate a ship's exact location by measuring the amount of time each signal took to reach a ship. Chatham, Massachusetts, was staffed by SPARS and believed to be the only all-female staffed monitoring station of its kind in the world. Pendright (talk) 20:57, 18 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

HF

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I'll try to review this soon. Please ping me if I haven't started in a week. Hog Farm Talk 00:04, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • "when Executive order 8929 directed the Coast Guard to operate as part of the Navy" - it looks like Executive Order frequently has both words capitalized in sources
Upper cased - Pendright (talk) 03:45, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "expedite the war effort by providing for releasing officers and men for sea duty and replacing them with women in the shore establishment of the Coast Guard and for other purposes. " - is this italicized portion a direct quote? If so, I think it would be clearer shown in quotation marks
Used iralics for emphasis:
Shortcuts
Main page: Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Text formatting § Italic type
Emphasis
Main page: Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Text formatting § Emphasis
Italics are used for emphasis, rather than boldface or capitals. But overuse diminishes its effect; consider rewriting instead. With or without emphasis is fine with me. Pendright (talk) 04:50, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which was the Women's Reserve of the U.S. Navy" - I think this can be ommitted, since the prior paragraph has introduced the WAVES and the Women's Naval Reserve
Frankly, I see no real benefit in omitting it, or any real harm in not omitting it. The use of repetition in writing is not uncommon. There are no rules or prohibitions against the judicious use of repetition in article writing. Pendright (talk)
  • "The legislation passed in late 1942, and was signed into law on November 23." - this has already been stated in the background section
Deleted in late 1942 Pendright (talk) 21:15, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The article title is SPARS with all letters capitalized, but throughout the article it is consistently SPARs with the last letter lowercase
Explanation: In June 2024, at my request, the article was copyedited by the Guild of Copy Editors and the editor left this comment:
As part of my recent GOCE edit, I tried to unify the usage/formatting of the term "SPARS" (and variants). Looking through the sources revealed a variety of usage, even within articles produced by one organization (such as the USCG online newsletter "My CG", searching for articles tagged "SPARs" or "Spar"). So I made some choices, based on USCG usage, and came up with my own 'standard'.
Pendright (talk) 22:18, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

More to come later. Hog Farm Talk 01:45, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Linked Pendright (talk) 00:12, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • " (Lt. (j.g.)—joined" - I think you're missing another closing paranthesis after the last one
Corrected: Lt. (j.g.) -> Lieutenant (junior grade) Pendright (talk) 00:12, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Standardize between MIT and M.I.T.
Fixed - MIT Pendright (talk) 00:39, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is there anything that discusses why the SPARs were heavily from those sets of states? Was that the population centers in the 1940s, or was SPAR recruitment mainly focused in those areas?
These were the population centers at the time. Pendright (talk) 00:39, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "she was still in active service with a complement of eight officers and 40 enlisted" - I'm not seeing here the 8 and 40 figure is coming from. This has 8 and 42

::Info-box: Complement ->

8 Officers
40 Enlisted Pendright (talk) 03:07, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks! changed text, source, and citation info

Pendright (talk) 05:01, 3 September 2024 (UTC) Hog Farm Talk 21:08, 2 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Supporting although this is a subject that I don't really anything at all about, so this should be considered a surface-level review. Hog Farm Talk 23:08, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! Pendright (talk) 00:43, 4 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments Reviewing by JennyOz

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Placeholder for now... JennyOz (talk) 06:34, 25 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Pendright, sorry for delay, this is taking longer than I anticipated. (That's a testament to your engaging prose. I remember feeling likewise enchanted with WAVES.) I've added a few comments, a lot of naive questions really. I'll finish them tomorrow. Please don't feel any need to reply to each of my notes. Just use anything that is useful...

top

  • add use ameng template
  • add use mdy template
Good ideas! Pendright (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
You decided not to add these? (You have them on WAVES) JennyOz (talk) 13:30, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
<>Added - Pendright (talk) 02:28, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • File:SPARS - NARA - 515462 enhanced.jpg|thumb|alt=SPARS on parade in dress uniforms with the U.S. flag and that of the USCG|
SPAR recruitment poster used during World War II - remove line break between parameters
Thanks for the fix. Pendright (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

lede

  • "Semper Paratus"—"Always Ready" - did you consider formatting this with the Latin language template ie as Semper Paratus ("always ready")? (I'm not necessarily suggesting that treatment in Stratton's direct quote later on)
No! Pendright (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I don't understand that exclamation. Does it mean No! you hadn't considered or No! you prefer not to format it? JennyOz (talk) 13:30, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
<> Let me explain my No this way: You asked me this question, did you consider formatting this with the Latin language template ie as Semper Paratus ("always ready")? Thus, the NO. But after revisiteing the parenthetical part of your statement, (I'm not necessarily suggesting that treatment in Stratton's direct quote later on) I realized that, while unsaid, there is an implied suggestion to do it that I missed the first time around. So, now it's - Latin: Semper Paratu Pendright (talk) 20:05, 12 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Both changed - Pendright (talk) 04:48, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Both changed as requested - Pendright (talk) 04:07, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • the demobilization of SPAR personnel began. - do you want that line break there?
No, fixed - Pendright (talk) 20:47, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • this time as the USCG Women's Volunteer Reserve. - quotes instead of italics?
Sticking with italics - Pendright (talk) 20:47, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • approximately 200 of them reenlisting. - line break intentional?
No, fixed - Pendright (talk) 20:47, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

background

  • This changed on November 1, 1941, when Executive Order 8929 - add issued by Pres FDR?
  • allow women to serve in the USCG Reserve. [1] In - remove space before ref
  • was passed by the U.S. Congress and signed into law by President Franklin D. Roosevelt on November 23 - if you insert FDR per suggestion above, just use Roosevelt here?
All fixed - Pendright (talk) 03:57, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • in order to expedite the war effort by providing for releasing officers and men for sea duty and replacing them with women in the shore establishment of the Coast Guard and for other purposes. - is that verbatim ie should be in quotes rather than italics? (and prob needs ref directly following?)
Not verbatim Pendright (talk) 03:57, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hmmm, P3 of the USCG At War pdf has (in their own quotes) "expedite the war effort by providing for releasing officers and men for duty at sea and their replacement by women in the shore establishment of the Coast Guard, and for other purposes." So the only difference is the bit I underlined. I'm sorry but I don't understand why it's in italics. JennyOz (talk) 13:30, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
<> Changed the italics to quotes. Pendright (talk) 21:09, 12 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The director

  • Dorothy C. Stratton (future director of the SPARs) had been - I'd leave the parenthetical hint out here. The heading is enough?
Removed - Pendright (talk) 04:49, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • She earned her M.A. degree from the University of Chicago and her PhD from - I think MA would be better here ie without dots per PhD for consistency (and per MOS:COMMONABBR)
Deleted - Pendright (talk) 23:54, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • encouraged Stratton to apply for a commission in the newly formed Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service (WAVES) - it only has a shortened version just above, ie "Women's Naval Reserve" - maybe put full name at first mention, then here use WAVES? I'm a little confused sorry. The lede of WAVES has "United States Naval Reserve (Women's Reserve), better known as the WAVES (for Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service)" so is "Women's Naval Reserve" another alternative name ie needing the caps?
  • In her 1989 oral history article, Launching the SPARS, Stratton - add quotes around the article name per MOS:MINORWORK
Done - Pendright (talk) 03:38, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • the more nautical nickname of "SPARs" - ignorant as I am of military and naval terminology, I had to look up what is a spar to understand the nautical connection. You could add a link, something like (a spar is part of the rigging of a sailing vessel) maybe as a footnote?
Linked - Pendright (talk) 03:38, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Recruiting

  • by the lack of SPAR personnel - initial lack of?
Done Pendright (talk) 22:19, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • SPAR recruitment information was sometime disseminated - sometimes? (or is that an EngVar thing?)
Went with customarily Pendright (talk) 22:19, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • former Women's Reserve officers Lyne and Arthur, they - I'd put their full names here ie Mary Lyne and Kay Arthur (especially considering Arthur sounds like a bloke)
former Women's Reserve officers -> I'd like to think this would answer any such questions? Pendright (talk) 22:19, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • During the two-year-effort - remove second hyphen
Fixed Pendright (talk) 22:38, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • one-fourth were rejected - a quarter or 25 percent?
Left Pendright (talk) 22:38, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • In her 1989 oral history article, Launching the SPARS, - quotes again around article name
Done Pendright (talk) 22:38, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dorothy C. Stratton revisited the recruiting - just Stratton
Done - Pendright (talk) 02:45, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done - Pendright (talk) 02:45, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Minority recruitment

  • African American Women - lower case w in this heading
  • were under the supervision of the Secretary of the Navy.[2] Frank Knox, the secretary, was vehemently - were under the supervision of the Secretary of the Navy,[2] Frank Knox, who was vehemently
  • When Knox died in April 1944 - After Knox died
All fixed -Pendright (talk) 03:06, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thomas E. Dewey, criticized the administration for discriminating against African American women during a speech in Chicago - that's ambiguous? Thomas E. Dewey, during a speech in Chicago, criticized the administration for discriminating against African American women.
  • African American women v African-American women, remove 2 x hyphenated for consistency?
There's still a hyphenated one in second para of Minority recruitment section JennyOz (talk) 13:30, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
<>Removed - Pendright (talk) 21:22, 12 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • black women recruits into their ranks. [8] In - remove space before ref
  • In 2015, the U.S. Coast Guard honored 100 year old Olivia Hooker - add hyphens ie 100-year-old. Also, just Hooker?
All fixed - Pendright (talk) 18:42, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hispanic and Latino American Women - w
  • who served in Washington, D.C. and New York - add geocomma after D.C.
  • barracks in Long Beach, California. [26] - remove space before ref
All fixed - Pendright (talk) 22:49, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Native American Women - w
  • No less than six women - at least six of the women recruited there were from...? Ie are you saying tribal nations women were specifically targeted for recruitment or were they six of all women recruited in Oklahoma?
Fixed - Pendright (talk) 20:03, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks but needs tweak "At lesst six of all women" - lesst typo, swap "all" to 'the' JennyOz (talk) 13:30, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
<>Corrected spelling and changed all to the - Pendright (talk) 21:41, 12 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • June Townsend - rank?
Added - Pendright (talk) 20:03, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Officer training

  • caption United States Coast Guard Academy, New London, CT - MOS:STATEABBR says not to use, change to Connecticut?
Fixed - Pendright (talk) 20:41, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is (WR) and (for the Women's Reserve) the same thing?
Removed - Pendright (talk) 20:41, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • would eliminate the need for further training - completely eliminate or minimise the need?
  • in their civilian lifes, - life or lives or maybe this is another EngVar instance?
lives is the plural of life - Pendright (talk) 20:58, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Enlisted training

  • at Iowa State Teachers College, Cedar Falls, Iowa[40][41] But - insert full stop after Iowa
Done - Pendright (talk) 23:44, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Linked text but mot image-Pendright (talk) 23:44, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done - Pendright (talk) 23:44, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I blieve I have responed to all of the above comments - Pendright (talk) 00:13, 7 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

A little more to come, JennyOz (talk) 12:54, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @JennyOz, any further comments to come from your end? Matarisvan (talk) 12:39, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Pendright (and Matarisvan), I've been watching changes and will finish up tonight or tomorrow. Looking good! JennyOz (talk) 05:38, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I've added a five replies above. Sorry that I have to do this piecemeal. I'm down to Training. JennyOz (talk) 13:30, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@JennyOz: Before I address your five points, let me say that you need not be sorry for the scheduling of your review. For my part, finish it as time permits. I'm grateful, as Wikipedia should be, that you would lend your time and talent to make SPARs a better article. Pendright (talk) 17:01, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for that comment Pendright, made me feel less guilty! JennyOz (talk) 11:02, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
My five replies to your five replies - Pendright (talk) 02:28, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Okay Pendright, to speed things up, I've gone ahead and made some minor changes that I felt pretty sure about, rather than load up another long list of questions and comments. (I don't usually make changes myself in reviews. I know many reviewers do but I generally don't feel confident enough to do so.) I've explained the changes in edit summaries. Obviously, please undo any you don't agree with.
All good - thanks! Pendright (talk) 21:22, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
For the last bits I don't understand or suggestions, I'll add further comments here, hopefully tomorrow. Best wishes, JennyOz (talk) 11:02, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Great -Pendright (talk) 21:22, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Two last comments...

  • "Stratton also noted that the four letters (SPAR) might also stand for the four freedoms of speech, of the press, of assembly, and of religion."
The link you added redirects to a Dutch food retailer. Two possible solutions to consider here...
Perhaps change wording to 'that the four letters S, P, A and R, might also stand for the four freedoms of speech, of the press, of assembly, and of religion', or,
Capitalise the 4 relevant words eg freedoms of Speech, of the Press, of Assembly, and of Religion
At minimum though, that link should be removed. JennyOz (talk) 05:48, 17 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
<>Spar - used upper case - Pendright (talk)
<> Added - Pendright (talk) 19:29, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Ah, these are the women from this Category:SPARS personnel that I was wondering if you could include in the Notable people section list. (They are "notable" because they already have their own blue-linked articles, just like the members on the list on WAVES.)
@Pendright, you've already added Block and Finch to the Notable people section, could you also add Linkswiler and Munro per JennyOz's suggestion? We can then promote the article to A class once that edit is done. Matarisvan (talk) 06:37, 26 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
<> @Matarisvan: They all have been added, however, I'm still looking for a suitable source for Munro - and expect to do so today. Pendright (talk) 17:02, 26 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'm pretty sure I'm done now Pendright. Thanks sincerely for your patience. I look forward to supporting (both here - and at FAC, if you nom it). JennyOz (talk) 05:48, 17 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your in-depth work on the SPARs article has improved it immeasurably - thank you. Should it pass AC, I hope to take it to the next level. Pendright (talk) 20:15, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi @JennyOz, do the above changes resolve the issues you had raised? Any more comments you may like to add? Matarisvan (talk) 17:47, 22 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Pendright and Matarisvan. I've expanded on my comment re the Notable people list above but I'm happy to leave those possible additions to your discretion. I am happy to s'port this nomination. Great job, Pendright! Best wishes, JennyOz (talk) 04:11, 24 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Matarisvan

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Hi Pendright, my comments:

  • "procurement... of personnel": "the recruitment" might be better than "procurement"?
@Matarisvan: Could you please identify for me the heading the above is referencing? If it's General recruiting efforts, which of the two procurements need fixing?
  • We list Dorothy Tutte as the first woman enlistee in SPAR, do we know the first woman officer in the unit who did not transfer in from WAVES?
No, none of the sourcing used in the article tells us. Pendright (talk) 21:53, 7 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The SPARs like the WAVES": "The SPARs, like the WAVES," may be better grammatically?
  • "another part of training": add a comma after?
  • "Oklahoma A&M University, Stillwater, Oklahoma": "Oklahoma A&M University in Stillwater, Oklahoma" may be better?
  • "Iowa State Teachers College, Cedar Falls, Iowa": "the Iowa State Teachers College in Cedar Falls, Iowa." may be better?
  • Remove the link to Manhattan Beach in the Enlisted training subsection, since we have already linked it in the preceding subsection?
  • Link to ionosphere and F region?
  • Link Cape Cod?
All addressed - Pendright (talk) 21:53, 7 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi @Pendright, for the "procurement" phrasing, both occurrences need fixing, since personnel are not procured but recruited. Matarisvan (talk) 12:30, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed-with sentence verbiage still mirroring sources. Pendright (talk) 03:39, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, I made this one pending change myself, so adding my support. Cheers Matarisvan (talk) 12:37, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the alt addition and review - Pendright (talk) 03:39, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

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  • All images have appropriate Public Domain licenses.
  • Suggest adding alt text for the LORAN chart.
Added - Pendright (talk) 16:23, 8 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The image review is a pass, had forgotten to add this earlier. Matarisvan (talk) 19:20, 26 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

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  • All sources are from reliable publishers.
  • For Johnson 1987, the spelling of the middle name should be Erwin, not Irwin. Also, consider linking to the article?
Corrected spelling - Pendright (talk) 17:55, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link to Morris J. MacGregor?
? - Pendright (talk) 22:07, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Replace refs #26 and #27 with sfn tags, since we have listed the underlying web pages in the bibliography?
Replaced - Pendright (talk) 20:16, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Consider running the Internet Archive Bot on the page, since some refs are missing archive URLs?
Regrettably, the running of a Bot is not yet a part of my tool-kit—but I suspect that it is a part of yours.
  • Add [1] as the URL for Lyne & Arthur 1946?
This is the URL in use now - Pendright (talk) 21:31, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Spot checks. Refs #9, #18, #25, #39, #43, #55, #66: all ok.
@Matarisvan: Except for a couple of questions, I believe I've addressed all of your source comments. Pendright (talk) 22:17, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Pendright, the source review is a pass. The Internet Archive Bot is getting a lot of traffic now so I will run it tomorrow. Cheers Matarisvan (talk) 17:59, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Matarisvan: Thank you very much for your time and effort. Pendright (talk) 20:12, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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