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Wikipedia:WikiProject Olympics/Peer review/Archive 1

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Latest comment: 14 years ago by Miller17CU94 in topic 2010
Archive 1

2010

Latest comment: 14 years ago153 comments7 people in discussion

Winter Olympic Games

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
Winter Olympic Games (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

I would like to get editor's opinions on this article as it navigates toward FAC. One question I have is regarding the summary of each Olympics in the History section. It significantly increases the length of the article but I'm just not sure how to comprehensively cover the subject of the Winter Olympics without a brief summary of each Games. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated as would any other input you have on any aspect of the article. I'm trying to get it up to FA standards so please be critical. Thanks. H1nkles (talk) 19:07, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Sillyfolkboy

I think a summary style could serve you well, putting the bulk of the material into History of the Winter Olympic Games. Much of the content is interesting (the journey to Lake Placid, United Sates, was a long and expensive one for most competitors, and there was little money for sports in the midst of the Great Depression./Sonja Henie defended her Olympic title) but ultimately, non-essential in a brief overview of the competition's history. I see that Summer Olympic Games has precisely the same problem. However, the Winter's history is generally good, perhaps even a possible GA article in its own right with a little work. Other possible little touches: A couple more images where possible. Change "Demonstration events" to "Demonstration sports" to fit with other content. FIFA World Cup has a "selection of hosts" section, perhaps one would help here? Or is it covered in the main Olympic Games article already? Is there not a more exciting picture of the 2006 torch? The current one does the job, but it seems a little bland to me. Sillyfolkboy (talk) (edits)Join WikiProject Athletics! 04:24, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Sillyfolkboy, for your input. I'm wondering what would replace the history if it is removed. I agree with your assessment that is non-essential. I'll think on replacement ideas. Thanks! H1nkles (talk) 16:55, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Reywas92

For such a major article, I do not think it is too long at all. I believe the historical info, while trimmable, should not be split. More review to come later. Reywas92Talk 18:28, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Parutakupiu

Please, don't mind if I add my comments in successive stages. I'm doing a review by sections, so it's easier for me. Parutakupiu (talk) 17:19, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

I appreciate any review you can give. If you could weigh in on the debate above regarding the history section that would be appreciated. The outcome of the debate could fundamentally change this article. If it passes FA, it would then impact the Summer Olympics article, which gets about double the page views that the Winter Olympics page gets. Thanks again. H1nkles (talk) 14:58, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
Regarding that point, I think that the current situation is the best compromise between length and comprehensiveness. Of course, one can juggle with some paragraphs back and forth between sub-sections, and trim some text here and there to make it even more objective and concise. Apart from this, I think that the section content is very good: you say what's important about every Games and you provide sources (apart from one or two things). I hope this helps you. Parutakupiu (talk) 22:50, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
Lead
  • Use {{about}} to display both "For" links in a single line.
  • "The Winter Olympic Games is a winter multi-sport event..." → "The Winter Olympic Games are a winter multi-sport event..."
  • "...such as Alpine skiing,..." → Lowercase "Alpine".
  • When it states that some sports have been competed since 1924, you repeat many of those in the previous sentence. Since your giving examples, you could remove alpine skiing and bobsledding, leaving just those you repeat in the following sentence. Then in this sentence, you can say something like "These sports, along with Nordic combined, ski jumping, and speed skating..."
  • "Other athletic events have been added as the Games have progressed. Some, and some of these events them,..."
  • "Others, like speed skiing, bandy, and skijöring have been were demonstration sports..."
  • "Fewer countries participate in the Winter Olympics than the Summer Olympics." → This one looks isolated; try to move it to the end of the previous paragraph.". Also "...than as compared to participation in the Summer Olympics."
  • "At that time the Winter Games split from the Summer Games." → They were fused? Better explain more clearly.
  • "The rise of television as a global medium for communication has greatly enhanced..." → Redundant.
  • "...performance-enhancing drugs by Winter Olympic athletes Olympians" → Mind the hyphen.
  • Why not mention the other two-time host countries? It's only three more.
  • France and Norway are not linked when mentioning Chamonix and Lillehammer, so why are Canada and Russia?
  • "The Games will then be hosted by Sochi, Russia, in 2014. This will be, making it the first time that Russia had hosted a Russian city to host the Winter Olympic Games."
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Stephanie Brown Trafton

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Stephanie Brown Trafton (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

I am submitting this for peer review because... it's been around for about a year without garnering any significant notice from the Olympics WP. Aside from a picture, I'm kinda curious what more could be done with the article. It's frequently difficult to know what articles about comparatively obscure people need to do in order to get FA status. This is never going to be a massively long article, but I honestly don't know what more, beyond a picture, that it needs to be FA. And, yes, I know it hasn't received any rating at all from the Olympics WP, so asking for FA review is somewhat presumptuous. But I don't know what else can be written about her that's genuinely noteworthy, so why not ask what it needs for FA status? CzechOut ☎ | ✍ 03:46, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

1956 Winter Olympics

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1956 Winter Olympics (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

I am submitting this for peer review because I am attempting to get this article to FAC sometime this month. This will be an important FAC as it will set the template for how the rest of the YEAR at Summer/Winter Olympics articles are going to be formatted. I am currently working on creating sub articles for all the events as there are still a ton of red links in the calendar. FA reviewers won't like that. So any help with copy editing, prose, grammar, content, or the like would be much appreciated. User:H1nkles citius altius fortius 16:06, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

  • Don't have time right now to read the whole article for spelling etc but here are a few things i've noticed...
  1. The major comment I'd make, which applies to large sections of the article, is that there are a lot of very short one clause sentences so the whole thing doesn't flow very well (try reading the Organizing section out loud and hopefully you'll see what I mean).
  2. I think organizing section needs a different title, Organization possibly or perhaps something like Preparation(s)
  3. Venues section - I assume The Italia Jump was for ski jumping but it doesn't state that
  4. Start of events section - 4 sports... two new events, should probably use either figures or words not a mixture
  5. Is it possible to the map with Cortina marked on it that can be found at Cortina d'Ampezzo?

Hope some of those suggestions help, I'll take a more detailed look when I get time. Basement12 (T.C) 17:11, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your input, your first comment is especially helpful as this was not something I had seen, since I'm so close to the article. I'll definitely try and expand the sentences so they aren't so stuccato and so the flow of the article is enhanced. User:H1nkles citius altius fortius 23:44, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

Parutakupiu

Hey there, H1nkles. Months ago, when you requested a peer review for this article, I began drafting an expansion with sourcing based mostly on the official report. I did not finish this but since you came up with this project-specific peer review, instead of making comments I suggest you check my sandbox and compare my additions and changes with what you already have. Take whatever you feel it could be an improvement to the article. Cheers! Parutakupiu (talk) 22:56, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

Thank you my friend, you work is wonderful. I've taken some and added it to the article. I'll continue to work through your version of the article and gleen what I can. I'll be sure to give you credit when I post it for FAC. Thank you. User:H1nkles citius altius fortius 23:42, 8 March 2010 (UTC)
You're welcome! Pity I didn't go further, but I think that job is in good hands ;). Parutakupiu (talk) 00:00, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

Archive

Thank you for your review, I am closing it down and archiving it here. It will also be in the article history section. User:H1nkles citius altius fortius 22:37, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

The Whistler Sliding Centre

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
The Whistler Sliding Centre (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

I am submitting this for peer review because this has undergone a general peer review back in April 2010, then underwent a Good Article nomination process before being accepted on 22 June 2010. Am pushing this toward WP:FAC on this is done. Please do so ASAP. Chris (talk) 19:33, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

Parutakupiu — I'm going to do this gradually, as I go along the article, if you don't mind. Parutakupiu (talk) 23:37, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

  • Luge
    • "... to see if she was okay..." — Not the best encyclopedic language... How about "... to know about her condition..."?
    • "prior to" → before. Please check all further instances like this;
    • ... Turn 16..." — Again, lowercase. Be consistent and check further instances like this;
    • "... causing both of them to go airborne momentarily. Neither luger suffered any injury.";
    • "12,000 spectators attended each of the five days of luge competition." → Each of the five days of luge competition was attended by a sold-out crowd of 12,000 spectators;
    • On the last sentence, you can give the full name of the winners and link them to their articles;
  • Skeleton
    • It's been quite a while, since you last read about Jon Montgomery, so I suppose you can give his full name and link to his article;
    • Remove "on the 15th", as it is stated at the beginning when practice runs started;
    • "Montgomery and Hollingsworth had the fastest times on the 16th with the last training runs taking place on 17th at 09:00 PST. On the 17th, both Hollingsworth and Montgomery had the fastest runs again." — All this can be reduced to: "Montgomery and Hollingsworth had the fastest times on the 16th and on the 17th, the last day of training runs.";
    • "... before the start of the second run.";
    • In the last sentence, place the refs after the period;
  • Construction
    • Don't transcribe content word by word from their sources. The first sentence is verbatim, re-write it with your own words;
    • "... or Kwekwayex Kwelh7aynexw.[96] while the Lil'oet call the area..." — Less short sentences;
    • "C$ 55 million" and "C$ 105 million (€ 68 million)" — No space between value and unit. By the way, why conversion to Euros?
    • "The track is made of 350 t (340 LT; 390 ST)..." — What units are all these? Spell them out, and if they're unusual, link them;
    • "... thickness of 6 in (15 cm).[7][17][9]" — Order refs;
    • "350 track footings were used ..." — Number starting a sentence... Also "40% of those footings..." → Forty percent;
    • "... refrigeration piping were used to...";
    • "... between turns one and two, and turns six and seven) and three spectator underpasses (between turns eight and nine, turns 11 and 12, and turns 15 and 16)" — Consistency overrules the spelling out numbers lower than 10, so you can write "turns 1 and 2, and turns 6 and 7...", etc.;
    • "It seated 11,650 spectators during the 2010 Games";
  • Sustainability
    • Overlinking here! No need to link "sustainability", "site", "ski", "vegetation", "energy", "weather", "refrigeration" and "heat". They're all very common words with no special importance to the article so that they're linked;
    • "... to cover parts of the track. and the The track itself is painted white to maintain track ice tempeartures low temperatures...";
    • "... were was composted..." — refers to "wood waste";
  • Statistics
    • I'd probably move the first two tables to the previous section, because in my opinion they also characterize technical data about the track (physical data and turn names). If you were to do this, then I'd rename this section to "Track records" since it would only include the remaining text and the records table.
    • On the "Physical statistics" table, instead of placing ref #2 repeatedly after each discipline, why not only once and after the table's header?
    • On the "Turns" table:
    • On the "Track records" table:
      • "Event" is more precise as the first column's header, while on the third column "Athlete(s)" is enough;
      • I'd proceed in the same way as above, regarding the refs;
      • Why "Bobsleigh two-man" and not "Bobsleigh – two-man" as you did with the luge events? Or the opposite... Be as consistent as possible;
      • Place the flag templates before the name of individual competitors as well;
        •   Done - for two-man, two-woman, and four-man bobsleigh events along with doubles luge, flagathlete put in for all respective teams since they are of the same nation. Chris (talk) 19:59, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
    • You could make a table for "speed records" instead of just writing it down in a bulk of text. It becomes more appealing and visible to the reader. If this was to be called "Track speed records", then the table above should be "Track time records";
      • Scrapped. There is some issue for the luge events that needs resolution that neither the FIL nor the Whistler 2010 Sports Legacies Group have stated. Chris (talk) 19:59, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
    • Finally, that last part about the hosted championships looks a bit lost... Scrap it.
  • Images
    • The image in the infobox can be resized to 300px (maximum recommended by MoS); this way you even reduce the infobox's height;
    • The image layout in the History section (and others) is very unbalanced, with two images cluttering the top and none along the last four sub-sections. I understand you added each image besides its corresponding text section, but you don't need to do that. Spread them evenly through the whole section.
      •   Done - Moved and adjusted accordingly.
        • I made an attempt to distribute the images more evenly and alternated their position (right-left-right) within the same sub-section, to take the most of the available space. Tell me what do you think? Parutakupiu (talk)
    • If you can, avoid placing images in positions that might make them cross into other (sub-)sections. If not possible, right-align those images so that the following section's title is not pushed to the right.
    • Montgomery's image caption could be more related to the section where it's placed... Perhaps say that (don't quote me) the 2010 Olympic men's skeleton champion was among the first track testing participants... Something like this, because the current caption makes the image belong more in the Olympic results section...
      •   Done - Moved to the Skeleton subsection of the 2010 Winter Olympics section. Chris (talk) 12:49, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
        • Actually, I changed it back, because it was cluttering an already image-rich 2010 Winter Olympics section, while the History section was nearly empty. Adjusted its caption as suggested. Parutakupiu (talk)
    • Nodar's image is not free. Unless you can find a freely-licensed version, I'd say: remove it.
    • As per WP:CAPTION, you can't add period to the end of image captions which are sentence fragments... These include captions from every image bar the Hufner one.
  • Final comment: this article is quite heavy (>80 Kb) due to the massive amount of textual info. FAC reviewers are likely to point it out and ask you "trim" some of the content, so be prepared. Good luck on your nomination and I hope you are successful because this article deserves to be recognized. Parutakupiu (talk)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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