Wikipedia:WikiProject Tropical cyclones/Assessment/Effects of Hurricane Dean in the Greater Antilles
I want to bring this to FAC, but per the new standards of the Wikiproject I am bringing it here first. Its last FAC was plagued by a number of small errors, but I hope that the second time around it will be better received. If I can get an A-class review I would feel much more confident in offering this back to SandyGeorgia. Plasticup T/C 05:29, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
- I think this paragraph could do with a little rewriting.
- From
- "On August 17 a hurricane watch was issued for Jamaica. Prime Minister of Jamaica Portia Simpson-Miller convened an emergency meeting of Jamaica's national disaster preparedness council."
- From
- Too something like
- "On August 17 when a hurricane watch was issued for Jamaica, the Prime Minister of Jamaica Portia Simpson-Miller convened an emergency meeting of Jamaica's national disaster preparedness council."
- Too something like
Jason Rees (talk) 22:00, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
- I like it! Plasticup T/C 16:57, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
Hm!
- "As the storm approached, 1,580 people were evacuated" - from where, to where?
- Clarified. Plasticup T/C 17:05, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
- "but residents only occupied 47 of them before the storm's arrival" - does that mean the rest were completely unused? or just partially occupied only?
- Unused. Plasticup T/C 17:05, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
- "agreed to fly the supplies to Jamaica on its scheduled August 22 flight, if possible" - and was it possible?
- The sources don't mention it explicitly. The airport was closed for several days so presumably the flight was canceled. Plasticup T/C 17:05, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
- "prepared food stock in nearby Haiti, ready to move them to Jamaica if they were needed" - were they needed? were they ever sent to Jamaica? (though perhaps more related to the impact, you shouldn't just leave hangers like this in the preparations section)
- They weren't moved to Jamaica, although they most certainly were part of the preparations for the storm. Plasticup T/C 17:05, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
- Sure, I'm just saying that should be mentioned in the same place. — jdorje (talk) 04:37, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
- They weren't moved to Jamaica, although they most certainly were part of the preparations for the storm. Plasticup T/C 17:05, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
- "The massive storm's winds, rains, and storm surge " - massive? really? This seems like an bad qualifier for what was a fairly average-sized storm.
- Removed. Plasticup T/C 15:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- One place had km listed but was missing miles. There might have been others that I missed.
- You say that the island of Hispaniola had relatively little wind, then in the next paragraph say that heavy squalls hit haiti. Which is it?
- Heavy squalls are relative little, compared to the Category 5 hurricane. Plasticup T/C 15:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- Sure, it just jumped out at me as conflicting. Perhaps the wording could be improved. — jdorje (talk) 04:37, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
- Heavy squalls are relative little, compared to the Category 5 hurricane. Plasticup T/C 15:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- Each subsection on a particular location should have wikilinks within the text to that location. For instance the subsection on Hispaniola should have wikilinks to Hispaniola as well as to Haiti and Dominican Republic, where necessary. The existence of links elsewhere in the article shouldn't change this. In general IMO Jamaica would be wikilinked 4 times within the article: once in the lede and once in each of the 3 Jamaica subsections. I added one wikilink but I think this should be re-examined section by section.
- Really? I agree with you, but I imagine that it would raise some eyebrows at FAC. Is there some written policy that I can use to justify it? Plasticup T/C 15:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- That's just my opinion. I believe there's a wikipedia policy which I've read at some point. Perhaps we should adapt it for our storm articles which often have repetitive sections. — jdorje (talk) 04:37, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
- Really? I agree with you, but I imagine that it would raise some eyebrows at FAC. Is there some written policy that I can use to justify it? Plasticup T/C 15:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- The second jamaica-impact picture might be badly placed, as there's just one short paragraph before the next section starts.
- It looks okay on my resolution, but maybe not on others. Does it create a "text squeeze" on your screen? Plasticup T/C 15:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- A few places (in the aftermath for instance) repeatedly say "Hurricane Dean". Though you shouldn't compromise clarity for word variety, I think you could do better by alternating "Hurricane Dean", "Dean", or maybe "the storm" or "the hurricane". In general a good job is done with this but I noticed one place near the end of the impact where it was a bit repetitive.
- "parishes of Portland, Clarendon, St. Thomas, Manchester, St. Catherine and St. Elizabeth" - should be linked to somewhere
- In the see also, is there anything else relevant to the Greater Antilles that could be mentioned?
— jdorje (talk) 08:06, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
- Support — I made a few copyedits, so you might want to check and make sure my changes conform to your writing style. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 18:14, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
- Comments
- Non-breaking spaces needed.
- Damage estimates for anywhere other than Jamaica?
- Double check and make sure that no sentences start with a number. I'm pretty sure it's policy to avoid that.
- A death table would be nice.
- Maybe check for more Jamaican impact, since that was the most affected area.
- ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:43, 28 November 2008 (UTC)
Final review
editAll right, guys, like I said, in order to keep this page small, we'll be periodically flushing the page by promoting/archiving pages that become inactive. At this point, we'll enter the "FARC" phase of the review, so it's time to just !!vote under the usual rules to see whether we promote the page to A-Class or not. I'll close this review on 2008-12-31, so please comment in support or opposition to this article's promotion to A-Class. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 08:45, 20 December 2008 (UTC)
- Support
- Per my previous support. –Juliancolton Happy Holidays 14:52, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
- Oppose
- Comments