Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Banksia marginata/archive1

Lead comments from Cryptic C62

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  • "Highly variable in habit, it can be encountered as a small shrub 20 cm (8 in) high, to a large 12 m (40 ft) tall tree." The tree part suggests a range, but the phrasing of the shrub part does not. The "can be encountered" part is not necessary; it would be simpler to state the characteristics of the plant rather than how it "can be encountered". Suggested rewrite: "It varies widely in habit, ranging from a small 20 cm (8 in) high shrub to a large 12 m (40 ft) tall tree."
Yeah, I've taken that one - that sentence I've had trouble with... Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:11, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "The narrow leaves are linear" Is "linear" a jargon word? If so, I suggest linking it. If not, I suggest replacing with "straight".
It has a specific meaning for leaf shape. I'll link. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:11, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
I went ahead and linked it to leaf shape. Does that work for you? --Cryptic C62 · Talk 23:50, 13 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "Many species of bird, in particular honeyeaters, visit the flower spikes, as do native and European honeybees." What does "visit" mean in this context?
It means they have been recorded visiting the flower spikes - replaced with "forage". Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:11, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "The response to bushfire varies; some populations are serotinous, that is they are killed by fire and regenerate from large stores of seed which have been held in cones in the plant canopy and are released, while others regenerate from underground lignotubers or sucker from lateral roots." This is a very long sentence. I suggest splitting it into two sentences at "released, while others".
duly split Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:11, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "Banksia marginata is commonly seen in cultivation, with dwarf forms being registered and sold." What does "registered" mean in this context? Surely it can't be the same as registering an automobile or a firearm, can it?
It means that plant growers can register particular forms they've grown - ACRA is one, and PBR is another. However many nursery growers have not got around to doing this. Actaully the marginata forms aren't listed so will reword as "commercially propagated" Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:27, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • Although the Timber section is fairly small, I think it would be good to mention this application in the lead. Perhaps it can be smoshed into the sentence about cultivation: "Although the species is sometimes used for timber, it is most often cultivated for..."
rewrded - timber use is pretty rare though. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:27, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • While the lead does mention the geographic locations in which the plant grows, it does not answer the question: What types of environments does the plant grow in? Forests? Deserts? Igloos?
added some Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:27, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply

--Cryptic C62 · Talk 16:55, 11 May 2011 (UTC)Reply