Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/SMS Schlesien/archive1

Blurb review

Pinging the nom and supporters: Parsecboy, Peacemaker67, MarchOrDie, The ed17, Gerda Arendt. Hi guys. Could 3 or 4 of you take a minute to read the following suggested TFA blurb, and feel free to make changes or ask questions? Even a quick vetting process might help us deal with problems at WP:ERRORS. If all goes well, I'll make a more formal proposal at WT:TFA in a couple of weeks. Thanks kindly. - Dank (push to talk) 03:58, 21 January 2019 (UTC)

SMS Schlesien was one of five Deutschland-class pre-dreadnought battleships that served in the German Imperial Navy. Named after the province of Silesia in 1906 and commissioned in 1908, Schlesien was primarily occupied with training cruises and fleet maneuvers in her early career. She served with the High Seas Fleet throughout the first two years of World War I, saw brief action at the Battle of Jutland, and became a training ship in 1917. The Treaty of Versailles permitted the German navy to keep eight obsolete battleships, including Schlesien, to defend the German coast. Modernized in the mid-1920s, the ship saw limited combat during World War II, briefly bombarding Polish forces during the invasion of Poland in September 1939. After escorting minesweepers during the invasion of Norway and Denmark in April 1940, she primarily served as a training ship and icebreaker. She was sunk by a mine in 1945 while tasked with providing fire support off the Baltic coast of occupied Poland.

Made a minor tweak. I reckon the (His Majesty's Ship Silesia) is unnecessary. Otherwise looks good. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 04:05, 21 January 2019 (UTC)

Thanks, I like that tweak. When the first words of a blurb are foreign words, people have generally been asking for translations. But this process is for you guys to make suggestions, and it's not going to hurt anything to make any changes you like. If ERRORS people don't like it, they'll tell us. - Dank (push to talk) 04:21, 21 January 2019 (UTC)

Looks good to me, but am on vacation, will eventually look closer. Thanks for asking! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 09:33, 21 January 2019 (UTC)

Looks good to me as well, thanks Dan. Parsecboy (talk) 10:41, 21 January 2019 (UTC)

Made a few tweaks, Dank, mainly to strip out dates that are probably not very important for a public audience. :-) Ed ^{[talk] [majestic titan]} 06:02, 24 January 2019 (UTC)

Looks good, Ed. - Dank (push to talk) 06:09, 24 January 2019 (UTC)

Parsecboy, Peacemaker67, I had a rethink on "Silesia", I can't think of a similar case where we didn't include a translation in the blurb. It's not necessary, exactly, but my job is easier if we follow precedent. Let me know if it doesn't work for you. - Dank (push to talk) 20:30, 22 March 2019 (UTC)

I don't have particularly strong feelings either way, so if it works for you, it's ok by me. Parsecboy (talk) 20:56, 22 March 2019 (UTC)

Thanks Nate. - Dank (push to talk) 20:58, 22 March 2019 (UTC)

I suggest moving it to "Commissioned in 1908 and named after Silesia, Schlesien..." Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 00:57, 23 March 2019 (UTC)

People who know about ships wouldn't take that to mean that it was named after it was commissioned, but Main Page readers? Not sure. - Dank (push to talk) 01:38, 23 March 2019 (UTC)

I made the edit per your suggestion, flipping it around. I had to add 1906 to avoid the impression that the naming ceremony was also in 1908. - Dank (push to talk) 02:11, 23 March 2019 (UTC)