Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/The Unnatural (The X-Files)/archive2

Comments by Cirt (addressed)

Comments by Cirt

(having stumbled here from my FAC)

1. Please respond, below these comments, and not interspersed throughout, thanks!
2. Lede: Intro is good. Succinct and well written. But also, good use of background and grounding for the reader that might not be familiar with the TV series, well done.
3. Plot: I like it. The reader gets a good sense of the episode and what it's about. Nice job.
4. Image review: File:David Duchovny 2011 Shankbone.JPG = hosted on Wikimedia Commons, checks out okay. File:DarrenMcGavin Crop.jpg = can this one be moved to Wikimedia Commons? File:M Emmet Walsh at the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival.jpg = image hosted on Wikimedia Commons, checks out alright. File:MoH&H title.jpg = please add date to date field. File:Chris Carter (July 2008).jpg = image on Commons, image checks out okay. File:GillianAndersonByIdoCarmelWonderCon2008.jpg = image on Commons, image checks out alright.
5. Filming and post-production = recommend removing the pull-quote blue box. Not needed, I've been criticized for such usage in the past, and it's better to either incorporate directly into text, and/or use a shorter quote, and/or paraphrase the material and avoid such large quotes.
6. Themes = careful with tense uniformity. Go back over this to make sure the sect has tense uniformity throughout.
7. Use of quotations in article: Suggest trimming down use of quotations. This can be done with shorter quotes, paraphrasing, or just incorporating the actual facts into the article discussion itself.
8. References: Suggest breaking out into two sects: Notes and then References, per WP:LAYOUT specifically per WP:FNNR.
9. Think about adding See also and Further reading sects to related themes and topics. Not necessary, just a suggestion to consider.
10. Please respond, below these comments, and not interspersed throughout, thanks!

Overall: Pretty high quality overall, I'd just focus on trimming use of quotations and paraphrasing a bit of the quotations or just removing some. Thanks for your efforts on this quality improvement project on a most interesting episode. — Cirt (talk) 03:52, 4 November 2013 (UTC)

Thank you very much for the comments. I'll respond with numbers. For 4), I'm not sure about the DarrenMcGavinCop... I don't know how to transfer files! I added the date for the other. For 5), I removed the box and merged the text. For 6), I tried combing over this section for loose and erroneous tenses, but couldn't find any. Do you have an example? For 7) I'll try. Give me a day or so. ;) For 8) I went with this way to maintain consistency with other X-Files articles that are FAs. And for 9), will do!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 05:49, 4 November 2013 (UTC)

Removed some quotes et al. How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 06:00, 4 November 2013 (UTC)

Looks a bit better. Please see Wikipedia:Moving_files_to_the_Commons#Transferring_using_CommonsHelper on how to transfer that image to Commons. Keep us posted here on the other stuff, I'll try to remember to come back and revisit, — Cirt (talk) 20:31, 4 November 2013 (UTC)

OK, the one image is now on the Commons. I believe I've trimmed out quite a few random quotes and merged sections together to make it more cohesive. I'm still failing to find the tense issues in the "Themes" section, however. Is it the fact that I'm talking about the episode (which exists in a state of "presentness"), as well as describing what reviewers have said about it (Ex: "The episode contains literary motifs, which have been studied by various critics.")? If so, I'm not sure how to fix that.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 22:21, 6 November 2013 (UTC)

Looks much better, I agree with you about your explanation about the tenses. — Cirt (talk) 22:44, 10 November 2013 (UTC)