Wikipedia talk:Today's featured article/December 8, 2010

I think I might swap the second and third sentences to preserve chronological order. Also, we leap straight from the formation of The Beatles in 1960 to their "disintegration" at the end of "that decade", which we haven't defined at that point. I know it's tricky to give an effective precis in a limited footprint, and am open to discussion. Rodhullandemu 17:23, 4 December 2010 (UTC)

Proposed copyedit to plug the 9 year gap:

John Lennon (1940–1980) was an English musician and singer-songwriter who achieved worldwide fame as a founding member of The Beatles, one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed acts in the history of popular music. Born and raised in Liverpool, Lennon had a rebellious nature and acerbic wit and, at 16-years-old, formed a skiffle group which evolved into The Beatles in 1960. With band-mate Paul McCartney, he established the Lennon/McCartney songwriting partnership, which provided the bulk of the Beatles' catalogue until they broke-up at the end of the decade. Lennon then embarked on a solo career that would produce the critically acclaimed albums John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band and Imagine. He became controversial through his work as a peace activist; his iconic songs, "Give Peace a Chance" and "Imagine", were adopted as anthems of the anti-war movement. With his wife and muse Yoko Ono, he moved to New York City in 1971, where his criticism of the Vietnam War resulted in a lengthy attempt by Richard Nixon's administration to deport him. He took a sabbatical from the music business in 1975 to devote time to his family, reemerging in 1980 with a new album, Double Fantasy, but was murdered three weeks after its release. (more...)

Wrapped in Grey (talk) 21:50, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

Last minute changes?

I didn't get to edit this TFA in time, but there appear to be some grammar and stylistic changes that could be made to benefit this. I've provided my proposed version below:

John Lennon (1940–1980) was an English musician and singer-songwriter who achieved worldwide fame as a founding member of The Beatles, one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed acts in the history of popular music. Born and raised in Liverpool, Lennon had a rebellious nature and acerbic wit, and at 16-years-old, formed a skiffle group which evolved into The Beatles in 1960. With bandmate Paul McCartney, he established the Lennon/McCartney songwriting partnership, which provided the bulk of the Beatles' catalogue until they dissolved at the end of the decade. Lennon then embarked on a solo career that produced the critically acclaimed albums John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band and Imagine. He became controversial through his work as a peace activist; his iconic songs, "Give Peace a Chance" and "Imagine", were adopted as anthems of the anti-war movement. With his wife and muse Yoko Ono, he moved to New York City in 1971, where his criticism of the Vietnam War resulted in a lengthy attempt by Richard Nixon's administration to deport him. He took a sabbatical from the music business in 1975 to devote time to his family, reemerging in 1980 with a new album, Double Fantasy, but was murdered on December 8, three weeks after its release. (more...)

Thank you. Y2Kcrazyjoker4 (talk • contributions) 16:59, 7 December 2010 (UTC)

Niggly little comments only: the "would produce" was intended to convey that the stuff following in the text (peace activism etc.) in actuality happened in parallel (with his solo career) but maybe it didn't achieve the intention. Not overly enamoured with "dissolved"; yes, the partnership was dissolved but the entire group "broke-up" (at least, in British English). — Wrapped in Grey (talk) 17:58, 7 December 2010 (UTC)