Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Backlog elimination drives/September 2024

Double checking "Dubai Mail"

Can someone check the article Dubai Mall to see if I miss anything? Thanks in advance! KjjjKjjj (talk) 03:24, 10 September 2024 (UTC)

It looks okay, but I see some things you could have done (and you did not make all that many changes). It could use some more (grammatical) articles: "land area after [the] Iran Mall" (interesting that it is mostly "the Iran Mall" at linked article and Iranians tend to omit articles in English; do Arabic speakers do as well?), "a consequence of [a] real estate bubble burst", etc. Here is an example of where a logical quote should be employed: "international-sized football pitches,". Here an en-dash should be employed: "children aged 4-16". Dhtwiki (talk) 04:47, 10 September 2024 (UTC)

I did a bit more copyediting, is it better now? KjjjKjjj (talk) 12:30, 10 September 2024 (UTC)

You have made several changes, most of them good. You still didn't correct for the lack of logical quoting mentioned above. Because "Dubai Mall" was changed from "The Dubai Mall", I would have left "the" where you added it, even though I suggested it be added where "Iran Mall" was concerned, however inconsistent that may be. Also, when you changed from "the aquarium (which holds sharks)" to "the aquarium that holds sharks", you are implying more than one aquarium is involved with the latter construction. Something I didn't mention earlier was your changing from "(originally known as The Dubai Mall until 2023)" to "(formerly known as The Dubai Mall)", where the former construction is more informative. Dhtwiki (talk) 06:58, 11 September 2024 (UTC)

@Dhtwiki: I did another round of copyediting, is it safe from further copyediting? KjjjKjjj (talk) 14:19, 11 September 2024 (UTC)

Still needed work. I've made the changes I think necessary, including back to "the Dubai Mall brochure", suitable where the name of the mall is used attributively, and undoing sentence fragments (to "...selling essential goods, were...") you had established. Dhtwiki (talk) 08:59, 12 September 2024 (UTC)

Double checking "World Trade Union Conference"

For the article, World Trade Union Conference to see if I miss anything. KjjjKjjj (talk) 13:03, 10 September 2024 (UTC)

I would say "was" a conference, since it's not ongoing but a one-time event.

"The conference, which was organised in the vein of the anti-fascist movement. Being much inspired by both union and state notions of a new world order, plus influenced by the interests of the allied nations." – sentence fragments. Try "...movement, being much inspired...world order, and by the interests of the allied nations."

"to held later the same year" – should "to be held". Dhtwiki (talk) 07:28, 11 September 2024 (UTC)

@Dhtwiki: Copyediting completed. Is it better? KjjjKjjj (talk) 13:35, 11 September 2024 (UTC)

That was almost completely well done, until I discovered the sentence fragments at the end of the lead, which you created where there was none and which I've corrected. But thank you for your patient efforts in getting these articles into good shape. Dhtwiki (talk) 09:09, 12 September 2024 (UTC)

@Dhtwiki: Thanks, really sorry about the sentence fragments. KjjjKjjj (talk) 14:59, 12 September 2024 (UTC)

Over-long plot summaries

Hi, the plot summary sections of the following Sanderson novels The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance, Oathbringer, and Rhythm of War were marked for copy editing, but I found they were ridiculously over-long with excessive fan detail, so I marked them as such, and removed the copy edit tag. Perhaps someone could review this decision, and let me know if I was reasonable or not? I didn't see much point in spending a lot of effort copy-editing material that probably shouldn't even be there; Wikipedia isn't CliffsNotes or a fan wiki. Cheers — Jon (talk) 03:10, 12 September 2024 (UTC)

I cannot argue with what you did, and your knowledge of appropriate templates to place instead of that telling of the need for a copy edit is impressive. I scanned the lengthy plot summary of the first article you listed, and there wasn't much wrong with the prose. Dhtwiki (talk) 09:22, 12 September 2024 (UTC)

For future reference, I think plot summaries should not exceed 700 words. Thanks and all the best, Miniapolis 18:49, 12 September 2024 (UTC)

I do a lot of work on plot summaries, usually for conciseness to meet the 400–700 word recommendations (MOS:PLOT, MOS:FILMPLOT, MOS:NOVELPLOT, etc.). Writing for conciseness is part of copyediting (from the lead of WP:COPYEDIT, Copyediting involves the "five Cs": making the article clear, correct, concise, comprehensible, and consistent.) and writing about fiction also seems to be in the copyeditor's wheelhouse, so I try to take these on when other editors have trouble with it. But yeah, these articles are a lot to tackle. Epic novels with complex plots may exceed the recommendations with consensus, but compare with A Game of Thrones which keeps the plot to a reasonable 1000 words and doesn't cram in additional plot in a Setting or Characters section. The Way of Kings has 3000 words plot and another 1300 words of plot in other sections, and its use of in-universe terminology makes it difficult to parse. I've tagged that article for {{cleanup rewrite}}. – Reidgreg (talk) 15:42, 16 September 2024 (UTC)

Double checking "Goin' Bulilit"

For article, Goin' Bulilit to see if I miss anything. KjjjKjjj (talk) 13:55, 13 September 2024 (UTC)

The few changes that you made were good ones. There was a typographical, not logical, quote in the History section ("Use in a Sentence,") that you missed. Overall, the prose reads well. You evidently did not copy edit the lists, given that your word count for the article couldn't have included them; but that is where a considerable number of punctuation (e.g. hyphens for en-dashes) and formatting (e.g. unusually bolded, italicized, and quoted titles) errors remain. Dhtwiki (talk) 06:34, 16 September 2024 (UTC)

Double check for Botswana

I would love for a British English expert to check my work on Botswana. I'm aware of a lot of the differences between British and American English, but I am American and my job is editing so I might have made some errors. Thank you! SilkPyjamas (talk) 18:29, 26 September 2024 (UTC)

Hi @SilkPyjamas:, I couldn't look at all of your changes but from what I can see, there aren't many ENGVAR problems from your changes. Both "whilst" and "while" are acceptable in BrEng; "centralized" and "centralised" are also both acceptable but the latter is not considered correct in Oxford spelling (don't ask!), though either "ise" or "ize" spellings should be consistent throughout the article.

Your changes to wikilinks may not have been necessary; it's fine for terms to be wikilnked to a redirect to the appropriate article per MOS:EGG – rhinoceros horn redirects to Rhinoceros anyway. Also I spotted: [[Tswana people|Batswana]], [[Kwena tribe|Bakwena]] and [[Tswana people|Battle of Khutiyabasadi] (the article is already linked, though linking to a specific (sub)section or anchor would be fine). Instead of [[Settler|settlers]], you can link most plurals like [[Settler]]s; characters immediately following the wikilnk will be linked.

Also, try to avoid leaving typos; I spotted "One notable remanant..." (should be "remnant"). Most modern web browsers have a built-in spelling checker that may be helpful (and I'm just as bad, fwiw!). And you added an unnecessary </nowiki> tag and "r" at The [[Cuando River|Chobe Rive]]r.

Overall your changes are good and improve the article for our readers. Thanks for your help and cheers, Baffle☿gab 05:42, 1 October 2024 (UTC).

Thanks for taking a look! I I figured "whilst" is acceptable, but I just don't like it (sorry haha). I do use the spell checker in Firefox, but I am human and miss things anyway sometimes. I appreciate the feedback! SilkPyjamas (talk) 14:40, 1 October 2024 (UTC)