Draft talk:Controversy of school integration in Jacksonville in 1964
Edits
edit"that lunch counters were still segregated, even though blacks were trying to desegregate lunch counters as much as possible to make a difference but majority of the whites within Jacksonville continued to ignore blacks with them being forty-four percent of the city's population. Furthermore, local news only devoted two pages to African American news." (This quote is too long). Dejanae123 (talk) 04:52, 2 March 2024 (UTC)
- "Pearson led the NAACP five-week direct action campaign against businesses and organizations that continued to practice discrimination. The controversy not just say on this event but between Pearson and Mayor Haydon Burns alone was a struggle as they placed Jacksonville in the center of the civil rights struggle. The rationale behind this was due to Pearson leading a boycott during Burn’s second run for the governorship which then threatened to derail his campaign by bringing the mayor’s civil rights record into focus." (Another too long quote) Dejanae123 (talk) 04:55, 2 March 2024 (UTC)
Summary of edits
editThis is really great Elanna! The major things are
- you have soo many quotes. Having quotes are great but I would maybe choose the most important and paraphrase the rest
- Additionally some of your quotes are too long. They should not go past 2 lines (MAYBE 3).
- Sometimes, ideas are unclear. If you could go through and make sure what youe trying to say is clear. I will reply with some of the sections which I felt I didn't quite understand Dejanae123 (talk) 05:13, 2 March 2024 (UTC)
- Prior to 1964, there were a riot that would be known as "Ax-Handle Saturday. On August 26th, 1960 there was a brawl that broke out between a white and a black woman in front of a store where the second was picketing. (Who was picketing, why, etc) Dejanae123 (talk) 05:13, 2 March 2024 (UTC)
Initial Feedback
editGreat article! Your article provides a lot of detailed information.
For sources, did you have other sources besides the Bartley article? I saw the one article was referenced three separate times in your references section.
For the beginning of the History section, I see that there is already a Wiki article about Ax Handle Saturday. I wonder if you would be able to condense this section since you provided a link to the other article. It would be helpful if you could include a section about how the 1964 Riots you're writing about is related to the Ax Handle Saturday riot.
I agree with Dejanae's feedback about the extensive quotes. It would be helpful if you could paraphrase the information and select the most significant quotes. I think I would be able to provide better feedback regarding clarity once you're able to condense some of the information.
I see that you linked Rutledge Pearson, but perhaps you can provide more context about who he is in your article before you talk about what he did.
The dates are helpful for providing contextual information but I don't see explicit connections between the dates and the sections for February 26th and March 5th.
Would you be able to find out what happened to Rosencrans after he was arrested? Was he convicted/released?